Rex Malek

You clicked your own face first, only to be surprised, flinching. The app showed you a video at the top of the screen. It showed you laying on the bed, your hand above your face. The image showed you shaking a little, and you realize what that means. You gently lift your foot, crossing it over your other. The man in the video in his t-shirt and shorts does the exact same thing. You take the phone from your face, looking to see if there's some spy camera embedded in your roof. Nope, just the same white stucco.

You see text beneath, scrolling down to see what it says:

Rex Malek

Status: Deeply Afraid, Aimless.

Alright that could just be guessing, what kind of person opens a magic app and is just like 'Aw man, sweet, just what I wanted and expected. Now to unleash my plan I've made over the course of years, waiting for this moment.' Of course, you'd be afraid and aimless when confronted with a mysterious cursed app that magically records you.

Dominance: -50
Libido: 20
Traits:
Dreamer
Nonthreatening
Self-Pitying

Ok what do those mean? You click them one by one.

Dreamer: You have many dreams, few realities.
Nonthreatening: Despite protests from some, all in your household view you as non-threatening. They believe that you are completely harmless, incapable of hurting them.

So, uh, that's it? That could all be guessed... You sigh, as your mind comes to the damning realization you'd hoped to avoid. You don't need to look at the third status. No, no this is all distressingly too real. You've let your life grow out of control, despite the fact that you could've changed it. You could've stood up for yourself, but you haven't. You just pitied yourself, moving from day to day without a plan to change. Even non-threatening is an indictment, as it basically says that all of the girls know that you're not some hungry sex pervert, you're just a sad lonely man who won't do anything.

So it's real. So what now?