Reflections on my Own

What had I done? I’d started off just liking the idea of boobs and wearing a bra. Over time this had included other clothes and had led to the idea of wearing a bikini in the pool. That had now spiralled out of control and I was well and truly hoist. I had not expected the reaction and had not expected my wife’s complicity.

Part of me was secretly very pleased that I would be able to wear female clothes in public and not have to hide. But the side effects and consequences of that were becoming very clear and filled me with fear. Wearing the female clothes was fine, I would have to hold my shoulders back and thrust my assets out rather than adopt my more normal round shoulders. I would also have to walk upright which again would be good for me to stop slouching.

I had thought about all this before but I hadn’t gone that stage further and thought about the implications of interaction with men. I’d never been really comfortable with men and certainly never thought about more intimate relations. I’d felt uncomfortable being groped but suspected what Bob had said might well be right and that I needed to be mentally prepared. If I said no at the first touch, I wasn’t going to get very far.

I couldn’t even contemplate anal penetration. That was the ultimate violation. It meant I must keep my knickers on but also meant I only had one option which was my mouth.

So, I was having to contemplate that in a few hours I might, no almost certainly would be taking a man’s erect penis and putting it in my mouth and probably seriously trying to make him cum. Just taking hold of it would be a major step for me. He would almost certainly be bigger than me. How would I cope, would I chicken out at the last moment? No, I resolved that I mustn’t do that and I had to be prepared to go all the way.

I could not visualise displaying my pubes – especially shaven. It brought a whole new meaning to the term ‘naked’. I hoped nobody would touch my prick or balls in case it gave me an erection so I really had to keep my knickers on as well as my bra to stop my boobs dropping out.

I thought about getting an erection and decided I would have to escape to the loo to deal with it. I wasn’t going to be thinking or touching females so I was less likely to get an erection. Just contemplating a man would shrivel me.

I tried thinking as a virgin, as had been suggested, but it was too far from my experience knowledge. In any case I didn’t have a vagina to be penetrated, or a hymen to be broken, or a pregnancy to risk. If I was frightened by the prospect of tomorrow (no, TODAY) they must be terrified. But then from what I had read, it was something they all wanted to lose.

I knew I had to concentrate on being positive and a willing and active responder. Knowing it and doing it though, were two different things. I resolved I must look forward positively.

I took off the nightie and looked at my profile in the mirror. I tucked in my stomach and held back my shoulders. it was hard work holding the shape but it didn’t look too bad when I did. I tucked my prick between my legs and held them close together and that helped with the full-frontal look. I thought I will have to remember to keep my legs together tomorrow. And then I laughed at myself. I would probably be the only woman there trying to do that.

I gave my boobs a quick fondle, and thought that it felt really nice. I was quite looking forward to them being fondled, even though it would probably be another man doing it next time. Whether that was what I should feel as a woman I wasn’t so sure. At least I didn’t have hypersensitive nipples to be tweaked.

Then I put my nightie back on and settled down to try to sleep.