Rats!

Detective Alice Silver wakes up eventually, and looks me in the eye, “Well good morning…” she glances around, “wait… we were in the tub all night?”

I hum, feeling pleasantly warm, “Well… I'm not strong enough to pick you up, and honestly: There was an amazing, intelligent, strong, beautiful nude woman on top of me. Why would I want to move?”

“Flatterer,” she smiles, and kisses me, “but I'm getting hungry…”

“I think I have more milk again,” I smile mischievously.

“I…” she licks her lips, her breathing picking up, and her skin taking on a flushed appearance, “...I want… I…” she closes her eyes and takes a slow, deep breath, “your milk is FAR too tasty. I want it too much. Besides…” she considers, “it made me feel rather soused, and I probably need to get to work. I'll take you shopping at the thrift store after work for some clothes and pumps, hmm? Besides… I'll need to introduce you to my partner.”

Wait… “You're seeing someone?” Ah, man, she's amazing, but I do NOT want to break up a couple.

“Heh, no,” she kisses me, “Police partner. Detective Adam Silver. The chief paired us because we kept getting mail addressed to ‘Detective A. Silver’ inappropriately, and it made that a lot less of a big deal. He's a good guy, locker room talk says he's considerate and no slouch in bed, but I don't have any interest there.”

I feel relieved, “Oh, good. I would hate for this to be a one-night stand.”

“Ah, that's why you suggested breakfast…” she licks her lips, and her breathing quickens, “...okay, definitely addictive… which means pumps for you.” Alice puts her hands on the sides of the tub and lifts herself up and out, setting herself down on the side of the tub, her wonderful ass right there… I grab it real quick, and and she hums in pleasure, but still stands up, turning to face me and offering a hand, bending down and letting her glorious globes hang in my face for a moment.

I do, of course, grab both her hand and one of the globes… so soft… she pulls me up like I don't weigh much, kisses me (and massages those two giant orbs on the back of this body), and smiles, “I need to go to work… take care my love.” I do enjoy the view as she walks out of the room… but what's up with the hovering text over her head? “Det. A. Silver, Lvl 1 Arcanist(Sph.)”? It doesn't show in the mirror… I'm a little too flabbergasted to stop her, and she's dressed and out the door before I can comment.

Well… that's weird… and I have a day to explore the grounds. I replace my Spheres talents (swapping Warp out for Conjuration, getting myself a 24-hour bodyguard who has the Destruction sphere), and then get to exploring. It doesn't take particularly long to sort out that ninety percent of the ‘house’ is unused. There's a layer of dust over basically everything, the big exceptions being the living room (piles of trash), kitchen (but it's clear only between the fridge and microwave), and one bedroom suite. So I start cleaning up with the help of my bodyguard… which I find is well suited for killing rats when I encounter a few nests of them in the trash piles… and each one is worth a little experience… which is a really good incentive for me to kill them all by proxy. My minion kills dozens of the things, and before Alice gets home, I have my second level.

I go through the paperwork in an interface only I can see (I hope!), go through some hoops to activate my new abilities and take advantage of them (I worship myself, assign myself my high priest position, and gain nine Mythic tiers thereby… including a fix for my low physical scores: A Synthesist Summoner's Eidolon by way of the Expertise boon of Mythic Traditions). Now if my spells don't work, I have claws.

I focus on Many Forms, trying to return to my original appearance… and find it simply doesn't work. I can use the options in that talent to change my skin color, change my face a bit, and whatnot… but whatever the Eldritch Entity did, the power won't let me stop being in a hypersexualized fetish female form. Wings? No problem. Flat chest? Nope! Tentacles? Easy-peasy. Thin lips? Nope! I simply can't be less absurdly female.

Eventually I just shake my head, use the ‘until I change it’ Blank Transformation to get rid of most of the weirdness from my meatsuit (without mechanical changes), and improvise some base paint to hide the glowing symbol on my forehead (magic can't cover it up).

I then finish cleaning up the living room (with the help of two Conjuration Companions now), and am working on the kitchen when Alice shouts, “Hey, I'm home….”