A Wave of Emotions

You almost feel like you're going to faint. How could this happen? What could you do? You sit on your bed. Rebecca is at your side quickly, trying to shake you from your near catatonic state.

"Oh no, are you angry with me, I just, I know it's stupid, but I was ****, there's no excuse and I'm sorry, and it will never happen again, I'm so stupid, I just..."

You push her to the bed strongly, knocking her over, leaving her sprawling. You stand, looming above her, your anger ignites, your face a mask of cruel anger. How could she blame herself, when it was you who did this? The one who had possibly addicted his best friend, the one who he wanted with all his heart to make into his lover. You were angry at yourself, but now she wanted part of the blame. You couldn't help but have it flash to her, as she had stolen the candies. The girl who lies on your bed, her clothing disheveled, her eyes hurt, her lip quivering.

"YOU..."

Your voice is full of a rage misplaced, but in the moment you can't control yourself. Your fists clench, as your best friend lays on your bed.

"WHY?!"

Each word is like a boulder in your mouth, as your mind desperately tries to hang onto the secret. You could scream that of course it wasn't her fault. But as you look at her begin to cry, your anger seems to center on her, on her stupid decision to addict herself to a **** that she didn't understand. That she had addicted herself to your cum.

"I'm, I'm sorry." Years of sprinting and jogging experience come to the fore, as she runs to the door, trying to unlock it with haste, before running, running all the way to her room. She crashes to her bed, her tears now freely flowing.

You don't chase her. You didn't even chase her in the confines of your room. You didn't even turn to look at her. Instead your gaze descended to the hiding place, the drawer where you had stuffed those candies during a time before everything felt like it was screwing with you. A time when you felt you could use a machete like a scalpel.

You walk to your wall and you punch it as hard as you can. You break through the wall, punching through the dry wall. Your hand punches a second time, punching the hole deeper.

Your hand hurting, you fall to your bed. You scream out in anger, as the emotions focus back on yourself. YOU WERE SO STUPID, REBECCA'S THEFT, ERICA'S TRAINING. IT WAS ALL YOUR FAULT.

You had thought the candies wouldn't last as long as they did, that hiding them wasn't important. You hadn't considered that your meeting was little more than a provocation, that when confronted with her own weakness, her own humiliation in public, of course she would lash out. You hurt all of the women around you, hurting them without meaning. At least some leather daddy would've been able to minimize the pain, push them to the highest pleasure. Trying to remain a good guy only caused suffering.

You scream again. And again. Until it feels like your very lungs will break. Until your throat hurts. And then, you roll over, trying to think of something else.