Rock Paper Scissors

The apartment door opened and a shaggy guy walked in.

"Hey," John called out. "If it isn't Malcolm the Unemployed Wonder."

"Fuck you, John," the newcomer rang back. "At least I'm not a corporate whore like... Holy shit!"

Crystal lowered her eyes meekly.

"This lil' college slut has been sucking and fucking us all night. Too bad you missed the orgy."

"Well, fuck my life."

"Aw, cheer up. I think she's staying. In fact, let's rock-paper-scissors for who gets to keep her for the day, seeing as Henry's going to college, I'm going to work, and you are doing fuck all."