"By Armok's Hairy Balls: That Was Easier Than We Thought!"

The Champion of Armok exclaimed, shouldering his crossbow.

"What?" You ask, slightly confused.

"We are here on a quest from one of the Armokie Great Killers; the leadership of the faith since the **** of the last Gormagand at the hands of Diplok the Obscene 238 years ago. She had prognosticated that you, or someone like you, would appear in this forest today and sent us to find you and bring you back to the church of the Silver Assassin for use as a living ritual component in one of the most Unholy Rites of Armok. If you want to join the team, that saves us a ton of effort to track down the exact evolution of an Imp who we need to get for this quest, since you match the exact specifications we are supposed to find from horns to hooves and tongue to tail-tip." The orcish party leader explains.

You are instantly wary, "living ritual component"? What exactly does she mean by that?

"And what exactly is involved in this ritual?", you ask her, cautiously, and are utterly shocked by the very frank response.

"Oh, the church leader is going to kill you after you fuck, ****, and cannibalize a few prisoners, and then have sex with her, but don't worry, we'll have you registered at a respawn platform before it even begins so you'll gain 3-4 levels and then lose one, in every way possible a profitable trade for you," She explained.

"Uh, okay then, I think..." You reply hesitantly.

"Allright, I can seal the deal in Armok's name so we are both bound by it's terms, anything you want to add before we sanctify?" She asks, seemingly unconcerned with you adding something, as long as it's reasonable.