Page 3

Entry the third, nineteen days since moving in to the Titans Tower.

Oh, friend diary! The past hours since my last entry have been both an extremely confusing and turbulent set! Though the words of the last page are still exposed, never more than a glance to the left away, it feels like the one who did the writing of them is now a short lifetime behind me. I shall explain shortly.

Where I last left the recounting of the events, I was fresh from the breaking of the fast after a night spent on the couch in the coma of the food, as my friends have since called the customary gluttony sleep. Both Beast Boy and Cyborg had made the pitching of the tents. I found it perplexing that I had not caught friend Robin in the pitching of the tent, I wondered if perhaps friend Robin does not make the pitching of the tent, but when I asked friend Raven, she told me I was not to ask him this. She informed me that friend Robin does, in fact, make the pitching of the tent, I merely have not been around to notice it. His skin-tight bottoms in particular have made it hard for him in the past to hide when he is doing this. As friend Raven tells it, more than once in a mission, a foe has commented on his difficulty hiding it. I find this hard to understand, but this may also be one of the differences of the culture. Firstly, Tamaraneans do not get the arousal idly, as I am told some of the humans sometimes experience. Indeed, when I used the net of inter to research Raven's statement to this nature, I found that the concept of the boner without a reason is one of great lamentation. Secondly, when a Tamaranean is the aroused, it is largely a mental process. These concepts of the boners and the wetness is hard for me to understand. However, since seeing one up close, I suspect I can now begin to document my understanding of the process.

However! This talk of the boner without reason is the getting ahead of the self, allow me to tell this story in the order of the linear, as seems the earth custom.

After I finished the entry on the second page, I was seated in my room, using the net of the inter to study the human breeding practices, as has become something of a habit for me to do in my free time. I find I have taken a most dominant interest in the concept of the playing of roles and the costumes some adopt during their breeding.

I am not sure why it fascinates me as strongly as it does, but I have a few theories. Perhaps I merely find the concept of the costume interesting, and the idea of a costume which exists not for disguise but for the excitement of the senses is a foreign concept. Many of my friends wear a costume to conceal their true identity, using it as a form of hiding. When the costume is not made for the hiding, it seems as though the costume is as the performance. If I were to wear Raven's robes, I do not think any would believe me to be Raven, but perhaps some would find it exciting? Perhaps a poorly constructed performance can be accepted if it is what the audience wants the performance to be?

The other aspect of the fascination that the playing of the costumes arouses is the focus in this performance on the power. Again, my stance in this comes from a world where the costume is not the act, but the mask, but it seems that when most employ the costume for the delight of the partner, it is because there is meant to be the performance of the separate powers. This is where the distinction between the mating of humans and my kind may be the most at odds. All human mating, and all of the fixations or the "fetishes" as they are called, seem based in one partner having the power over the other. In the bondage, one partner has restricted movement while the other does not. In the age play, there is either a fixation on the aged taking the advantage of the young or the reverse. Even in the fixation of the parts of the body, like with the breasts and the feet, the role of the one who owns the part of desire is either to be the possessed by the admirer or to have the part take control of the admirer's body. As with the job of the feet or the job of the tits.

I brought this concept up to friend Raven, and she quoted to me a favorite author of hers. Wild Oscar. He says that the root of everything is the sex, except for sex itself, which is rooted in the power.

Part of me understand what he means by this, but part of me also does not. The sex as the humans have it does seem to take great fascination with the power, even when there does not need to be one or when the difference in the power is not of the significance. To a Tamaranean, the idea of the sex as being about the power is mostly odd. We still observe the royal lines of the blood, and to breed with one of the royalty does make one very powerful indeed, but we do not have this fixation on that power. At least, I do not, there were suitors on Tamaran who desired to mate with me for no reason but the change of power. That is also where the true not understanding of the untamed Oscar's quotation comes in. Where the root of all things but the sex is the sex. Those same suitors had other ways to reach the power, many of them took to those ways when I gave them the dumping. As well, if the root of sex is power, but power is one of the all of the things, do these facts not make an infinite loop?

... It occurs to me that I was telling the story of the day of yester and have gotten quite tracked to the side. This happens more than I would like when I begin to make the observations about the mating of the humans. Perhaps this is what was referred to, how sex is a root that it is far too easy to return to? I am usually not this the distracted by it, but life in the Titan's Tower so far has shown me that it is a very important part of human culture, even if few practice it as frequently as they think of it.

I was interrupted during my research by the alarm of the urgent crime. There was a robbery of a bank in progress down in the city. I and all of the Titans but Robin assembled in the main room, but Robin was the late. I declared that I would go perform "the checking" on him, since Cyborg and Beast Boy's idea on how to get him out of his room seemed to involve the kicking of the butt. I did not want Robin to have his butt kicked, I quite like his butt and do not wish harm to come to it.

When I knocked on his door, I could hear him making the grunting of immense strain, perhaps because he was struggling to get into his gear. When I asked if he needed the assistance, he responded that I needed to do the giving of the minute in a voice most panicked. He continued to make the grunts, at which point I knocked again to remind him that it was the alarm of the most urgent crime. He made the sound of great frustration that friend Raven makes in response to most things but that friend Robin only makes very rarely. When his door opened, he was very frustrated and covered in the sweat of distress. He tried to hide it, but for the first time since coming here, I saw him experiencing the pitching of the tent. I, as a good friend, did not make the mention of it. I have gotten quite good at this after seeing how the uncomfortable it makes people to have it pointed out, even when seeing it gives me the distractions. There was a smell coming out of his room. I could not tell if it was something that the others would have been able to sniff, or if it was another case of my stronger nose, but his room smelled much like the reckless mating season of the Veebledorgs. Even though I only did the catching of the whiff for a second, it had quite a potent effect on me. For the rest of the day, I found my thoughts clouded by images from my mating research. Perhaps this was something like the human arousal, that produces the wetness and the boners. Perhaps this also explains why I did what I did later in that day.

We arrived at the bank that was experiencing a stealing to find that the heist was a plot by the Brotherhood of Evil! Madame Rouge was there, leading some of her henchmen about and emptying the vaults when we arrived. Perhaps it was because of what happened before we had left, or perhaps I just never made the notice of how tight she wears her clothes or how smoothly she moves about, but I must admit that I fought her with less than complete focus. It seems to me Robin may have felt the same way, as just when he had managed to unpitch the tent, he started to re-pitch it! I am lucky that I do not show the signs of my being distracted as easy, because Madame Rouge made notice of how hard it is for friend Robin to hide his excitement and teased him most mercilessly. She said that she could see why some of the other lady villains had referred to him as "Throbbin Robin". Since recently learning that it was the impolite to bring attention to the pitching of the tent, I decided to stick up for my friend.

"Leave him alone!" I told her. "If Robin is going to experience the throbbing, that should be his own personal business!"

My friends are usually more appreciative when I defend their honor like that, or at the least, they have a laugh because I have said something that is funny to them. Robin neither seemed to appreciate my defense nor find it funny! Madame Rouge though, did find it quite the funny. In fact, it made her laugh so hard that she was distracted long enough for Cyborg to best her! When the battle finished a few moments later, and they were being taken away in handcuffs, I tried to ask Robin if I had said something wrong, but he did not let me talk to him before going back to the tower! I asked my other friends if I was in the error, but they did not give me a straight answer.

"At least your heart was in the right place." Friend Cyborg told me.

"For the record, if you feel like defending my honor in the future, don't." Friend Beast Boy told me.

Friend Raven did not respond, it seemed like she found it funnier than the rest.

I did not go back to the tower with the rest of them, instead I flew back most expediently because I wanted to make the apology pudding for friend Robin. When I got back, he was in the shower, giving me adequate time to make both the pudding of apology and the pudding of sadness. Normally... I would never go in the room of a friend without their permission, but part of me said that friend Robin might like his pudding of apology fresh out of the shower, since his body temperature would still be hot enough to melt the frozen pickles. When I opened his door, he was still showering. The same very mischievous part of my brain told me to hide in his closet to give him the surprise. Normally, I am smart enough to not listen to the part of the brain that tells me to do the dumb things, but this time my brain rationalized it that it would be both a funny prank and like a surprise party. And so, that is how I wound up in friend Robin's closet with a bowl of pudding in each hand.

When friend Robin came out of the shower, I immediately realized the terrible mistake that I had made in sneaking in, but I was trapped! Friend Robin came out with nothing on but a towel he had wrapped around his waist. I was immediately overcome by the flustered. I know that the exposing of the male nipples is not as taboo on Earth as I am used to, but it was still the first time I have seen any of my new friends in a state of being the undressed. As well, I could tell through the towel that he was doing the tent pitching. I was overcome with even greater fluster when he dropped the towel! It was a real human cock! Only feet from my face, and at least half-aroused! He wrapped one of his hands around it and looked down upon it like it was causing him great agony! I will never forget what he said next!

He whispered, speaking to himself and not knowing that I could hear him, "Dammit, Star."

I felt like my breath had frozen solid and was blocking my throat! I could not tell if his statement meant that he saw me as the source of his throbbing, and did not want it, or if my comment had made him dislike the throbbing. I suspect that it was the first, since soon after he began to stroke it back and forth slowly.

Against every bit of the good judgment I possessed, I could feel myself opening the closet doors a crack, trying to get a better view of how he played with himself. The mating smell had re-filled his room again, despite his being the fresh out of the shower. It was making me act the stupid, I can see no other explanation for why I did any of this. But as I opened the door, he seemed to see the movement out of the corner of his eye.

"Is somebody there?" He asked in his leaderly voice, the one that makes my heart feel the most inexplicable feelings. I wished to see him continue to stroke himself while he spoke like that, but he stopped the stroking as he asked.

I did not respond, hoping that he would go back to making the stroking, as it was causing me to experience a kind of excitement I have never felt before in my life. Perhaps as a result of all of these human mating pheromones, but for the first time in my life, I felt my own genitals begin to experience the human female wetness. It was a most strange sensation to feel for the first time in the moment, but once the moment had left, it simply made my uniform cling to me in a way that was the uncomfortable.

Unfortunately, he did not continue the stroking, instead wrapping the towel back around his waist and stepping over to the closet. I didn't say any of the things, but as he got closer, I could feel my hearts pounding rapidly, filled with fear that he would find me and be most unhappy. I silently made prayers to X'hal with each step he took toward the door that he would find some other distraction and turn away, sparing me from being found.

When he was close enough, he flung the closet doors open.

I made the yelp of one caught in a most unforgivable act, dropping both puddings to the closet floor and putting my hands over my eyes as if he couldn't see me if I didn't see him. I do not know why I made this gesture looking back, but I suspect it might have been a learned human expression of "the great shame".

"Star?" He asked, his voice was the incredulous, squeaky and surprised but also knowing that he was caught in an act for which he too felt the great shame.

We both sat quietly for a moment, too embarrassed to accuse the other or apologize. When I plucked up the courage, I uncovered my eyes. He was still standing over me, looking down half-naked and the surprised. It was unusual for him to look down at me, since I usually float above his head. Feeling like the smaller for once was... the exhilerating, but I was too the embarrassed to enjoy it.

"Friend Robin!" I exclaimed, trying to pretend like nothing had happened for us to feel the embarrassed about. "I brought you the pudding of apology, because it seems like my comment earlier made you the upset!"

Most unfortunately, when I reached for the pudding of apology, I realized it had spilled all over the floor of the closet, since I had dropped it in surprise. I was sad to see it wasted, the anchovies looked quite sad on the floor.

"What are you doing in my room?" He finally asked, his voice sounded like he was experiencing the horror of the realization.

I frowned, realizing that friend Robin might not understand the concept of the stupid brain that gives bad ideas.

"Tell me, is there a Beast Boy that lives in your brain as well?" I asked him, hoping he would understand my meaning.

He did not, he told me to "Get out."

But I did not want to get out! I wanted things to be simple! This complex dance of what I am allowed to do and not to do is tiresome! When I feel the liking for my friends, or how they play with themselves, I want to be able to say so! I decided then and there that I wasn't going to let him keep me at the length of the arms forever. I had seen something that I liked, and he intended to take it away from me because of his ups that did the hang!

"But I was enjoying watching you doing the stroking!" I protested.

Of course, now looking back, I recognize this as the dumb idiot brain. I should have continued the dance, even if it made me unhappy. It was unfair of me to ask friend Robin to make the changes and not myself, since I am still the newcomer to the changes. It was a selfish request, one that fills me with the horror of the great shame to look back on. But, for as poorly as I behaved... it worked!

"You... what?" He asked me. Even though his words were doing the asking, his voice told me that he had understood me, he was simply trying to come up with an answer. Cyborg uses this tool a lot, it has proven very handy for me to learn, though I am worse at the pretending I have misheard.

"Earlier, when you were doing the stroking, did it feel good? I was enjoying watching it."

I have never seen a human's face turn so red! It was like I had personally taken the brush of paint and applied the tomato sauce to him!

"You... w-watched?" He finally responded.

I nodded, "Yes! With great interest! If you wish to pretend I am not here, you may, but please continue as you were!"

He finally managed to regain some level of the composure and said that I should leave, but could watch if it would make me happy, I assured him that it would.

He walked over to his door to make sure that it was the locked, during which time I floated from my place hiding on his closet floor to settle on his bed, sitting the criss cross with the sauce of apples. When he turned back, he gulped and asked me if I was sure I wanted to watch. I re-assured him that I did, and he finally dropped his towel again.

I must say, sitting closer to it and with it facing me, I realized that Robin was in possession of a most admirable set of genitals. The women in the research material seem to favor both long and thick members, though I am told that not every human female feels the same way. Nevertheless, I also learned from the research material that the human males like it when you compliment their genitals, so I made an admiration.

"Friend Robin, if you ever decide to give up being a hero, I can assure you that your cock is sufficiently wide and long enough for you to star in pornography!" I told him.

While he did not thank me, I have seen that many men do not thank one for a compliment, unlike the females. However, his cock did begin to re-harden faster than it had been. When it was hard again, it was unlike anything I had ever seen before.

"You are... most impressive." I told him. "Now come on, I wish to see you do the stroking!"

He grabbed his genitals with a firm grip and started to stroke them seemingly slow in excess, as if he did not want to truly please himself as much as he wanted to please me in seeing him stroke. However, it was his pleasure that I wanted to see, so I told him to speed up. When he did, he seemed to lose focus on me, his face twisting into all kinds of odd expressions. I asked him many questions during this time, but he did not answer all of them.

"Does it feel good when you stroke it?" Did not get an answer, I am going to make the assumption that it did feel good.

"Do you stroke it often?" Also did not get an answer.

"Can you stroke it for a long time?" Did get an answer. He said that he takes pills once a day that his mentor gave him to keep him strong, but that they make it take a long time for him to finish when he strokes it.

"Do the pills make it feel better when you stroke it?" Did not get an answer.

"Do the pills make you stroke it more often?" Also did not get an answer.

"What do you think about when you stroke it?" Got a sort of answer. He admitted that he thinks of me, as well as friend Raven, but wouldn't answer what he thought about us.

As he did the stroking, his pace slowly did the picking up over time. It was impressive! As he carried on and the head of his member started to turn dark red and leak the pre-ejaculate, he was stroking it at a pace I have never seen a human male please himself in any of the videos. However, due to his pills, it seemed like he was having trouble finishing. I was concerned. The balls of blue are very dangerous, even for a species that does not pitch the tents, so I cannot imagine how bad they are for one that does. Even though his cock could have fit both hands, he only stroked with one. His other hand seemed to hang without knowing what it should be doing as he went.

"Would it help you to hold the hands?" I asked him, offering my hand.

He did not take it, but I could see the thought made him laugh. I am unsure if laughing helps or hinders.

"Is there something else I can do to help you release your sperm?" I asked him, he did not answer.

I tried to think of things that I could do to help him speed up his process. While I would have been perfectly happy to sit there and watch him stroke for the whole of the day, I was concerned for his health regarding the balls of blue. As well, the idea of getting another alarm and being summoned away... neither of us were in any state to fight. I have made a mental note to research more material where a male pleases himself for the female to watch, so I can know what as a female to do to help the male achieve the climax. At the time, it did not occur to me to make the dirty talk, and I was too shy to reach out and touch his member for myself. Ultimately, I remembered something I had heard during my research. Every male enjoys boobies, one of the many human words for Grebnacks.

"Would these help?" I asked him as I lifted my shirt to reveal my grebnacks.

His eyes went wide. In only a few seconds, he made the groans of immense relief and started to release his sperm. It was a most fabulous display! Much better than any of the works of the fire in the sky at night! He kept doing the jerking as his cock sprayed the cum all over the bed in front of him. He quickly realized that he was spraying the bed, and pulled his towel in place to stop the beautiful release, but not before some of it shot all the way onto my legs! For several moments, he sprayed into the towel, making little gasps and experiencing the relief shudders. It must have been quite hard for him to suppress the moans of the pleasure, and I must say that I wish he had not, I quite like the moans.

As he was ejaculating, I wiped up the cum that had managed to reach me off of my legs with my hand and brought it to my mouth to taste. I must say, with how often the females in the videos consume the seed of their partner, I had thought it would be tasting better than it does. It is mostly flavorless, just a vague saltiness, but it is so thick and so hot that you cannot convince yourself it is the water of the sea or the pudding of shame. I realized then that it was not the flavor that makes the females consume it, but rather the intimacy and the excitement of the moment. I would gladly swallow a glass of it while watching friend Robin stroking, but would turn my nose up at a drop while doing anything else!

It took friend Robin some time to finish his climax, far longer than just about any I have seen in research. I wonder if it is merely friend Robin, or if something in the process was done to increase the volume. I will have to... research further. I would very much like to do this with friend Robin again, but after he was done, he became very much the regretful. Saying he was most foolish and that he had made a ruin of our friendship. I assured him that his load was most voluminous and our friendship was most intact. If it gave him the reassurance, he did not say so, and I left shortly after.

The rest of the day was most uneventful. When friend Robin emerged from a second shower, he joined the rest of us for playing the F-Mega game on Cyborg's Super Gaming System. As per his request, I did not make reference to our meeting, though I did make the joke that his car's tank was of great volume and his car of admirable size. My other friends looked the confused, but it made friend Robin turn the same deep color of red as before, which pleased me greatly for reasons I would have the trouble understanding.

I will admit, I did have an unusual trouble with the sleeping. On most nights, I am able to achieve the shlorvaccs in a matter of moments after lying down, but last night, I was tossing and turning for some time. In my mind, I wanted to go to Robin's room and watch him do the jerking again, but when I checked, he was already asleep. When I finally managed to get shlorvaccs, they were the ryshlorvacss, dominated by thoughts of friend Robin and his stroking.

If that were not enough, I have woken this morning with a mess in my pajama bottoms! It seems as if the continued human exposure and ryshlorvaccs have started to manifest as human arousal. Even my nipples, one of many human terms for gumberlils, have begun to get stiff and sensitive at times! I fear that the greatest strength of the Tamaraneans, our adaptability, might destroy all of my self-control before much more time passes!

I, as always, will continue my research and my crime fighting, and will continue to keep the friend diary updated as the time goes on. Today promises to be quiet, with almost all of the usual criminals behind the bars and none of the occasional duties of the civic to attend to. Beast Boy suggested that we make use of this day to go see a movie, Cyborg T-Rex Versus The Monkey from Space. I would be most interested to join! I will ask Raven what her thoughts are on the matter shortly.

Goodbye!