The Smuggler's Way, Part III

The famous Captain Black, Grimm thought as he looked at the pirate overlord. He didn't need to wait for confirmation: the infamous outlaw oozed authority, from the cold gaze she shot toward the door as the bull and his companions entered to the way her underlings kept a wide berth at all times, as though she'd strike out at any moment.

Yes, she.

Captain Black stood near the center of the room, leaning on a pile of crates stacked up to her stomach, chatting with her minions, though her ice-blue eyes quickly fixed upon Grimm, Joy, and Marcella.

Two things raced through Grimm's brain as he saw the Captain: one, she was taller than Daisy, which made her around seven feet tall; two, she was completely hairless.

While the first thing was surprising, it wasn't shocking. However, her furlessness, her totally smooth skin... that made Grimm a little uneasy. He had never seen a creature like the Captain before; if he had, he couldn't remember.

The Captain's skin was mostly jet black save for white patches over her eyes, lower jaw, throat, and, judging by the way the patch on her throat extended past her expansive cleavage, her chest and stomach. Her skin looked slick. While she didn't have a lick of fur on her body (that Grimm could see, anyway) the Captain did have a shock of aqua blue hair at the top of her head.

It occurred to Grimm that the Captain did not have ears. He was at least a little comforted by the big tail resting lazily on the floor behind her, though he was put off by the way it fanned into a soft crescent moon shape at the tip. What on earth....?

Grimm was almost surprised that the Captain was not absolutely stacked. He'd spent the last week in the company of bovines and had grown accustomed to their proportions. That she was the leader of a band of outlaws reminded him of Reese, reminded him of her ridiculous assets... The Captain, on the other hand, was rather lithe, possessing a body that evoked memories of swift-footed pickpockets, of cutpurses jumping between buildings, hopping over rooftops...

She wore a dark grey tunic and wine-red high-waisted trousers that ended just at the knee. A dark brown belt outfitted with wineskin and keyring hung loosely over her waist. Black boots completed the ensemble. She did fit the look of a pirate, Grimm thought.

"Welcome back, me roo," said the Captain. Every word, low and husky, dripped with shapeless bemusement. "Took ye long enough."

"Sorry, Cap'n," Marcella said, scratching her arm. "Your doorman was, uh, bein' a little difficult."

"Ah, yes. Lump's a fine boy but he's bright as a snuffed candle." She grinned and cleared her throats. "Fellas, leave us be awhile. Me an' the marsupial have business to discuss."

"Aye, captain!" rang the chorus of pirates. The room quickly cleared.

Now it was just the four of them.

"Sit," said Captain Black, plopping into a nearby chair. It rocked beneath her weight, and groaned as she stretched and leaned over a table, resting her cheek in her palm.

Marcella sat in a chair opposite the Captain. Grimm felt a phantom pang of arousal when he noticed that her enormous ass squeezed between the opening at the back of the chair.

Joy sat atop a treasure chest; Grimm sat on the floor.

"So!" The Captain rapped her knuckles on the table. "Ye want passage beyond them magic walls, eh?"

"That's right," said Marcella. She cleared her throat. "My companions require passage into cow country, and you're the only person I can trust --"

"Terrible mistake, trustin' a pirate," Captain Black interjected.

Marcella continued. "The only person I can trust to get the job done," she said, as a grin formed on her lips. "I wouldn't trust you as far as I can throw you."

"Wounds my heart," said the Captain, putting her hand on her chest. "And here I was, thinkin' ye'd finally come 'round."

"I told you I'm not interested."

"Then tell me, lass, why I should be interested in any further business with ye."

"Because..." Marcella was fully grinning now, and Grimm realized this was a side he hadn't seen since he'd fought her. Since she was his enemy. "...I know about your little problem."

The Captain's smile didn't falter. "Little is right, lass. Ain't no problem too great fer Cap'n Black and her crew."

"Except this one, hmm?" Marcella took a deep breath. "Y'know, it's strange. I see all these fine folk you're runnin' around with: dogs, cats, monkeys, gators, rhinos... but I don't see a single bovine among 'em. Seems odd, Cap'n, especially given the number of times you've been to the Queendom." Her brow narrowed. "Almost like you can't keep a cow or a bull long enough to make it to Damona's Isle. From what I've heard they all jump ship the moment you make port in Opal Town or Boannisport." She giggled. "So, Cap'n, I've been curious: why are y'all so bad at keepin' cows around?"

The Captain's face screwed up. She took a deep breath as she regarded the brash marsupial. "Point taken," she said softly, though her words dripped with annoyance. "Though mayhap the nature of bovines be duplicitous." She shot a glance toward Grimm and Joy and smiled. "Companions excepted, I'm sure."

Grimm was about to say something when the door burst open and another strange creature stumbled in.

Like the Captain the pirate was totally furless, though her skin was light orange, not black. Her long, wavy hair was bright green and reached past her shoulders; it bounced in all directions as she stumbled through the door. Grimm noticed long, pointy, upturned ears jutting from the girl's hair. "Cap --" Her eyes went wide as she registered Grimm and his companions. With a small eep! sound the woman swallowed and grabbed the door. "Sorry!" she squeaked, "I'm so sorry!"

"'Tis fine, Eska, come in." She waved the girl in, wearing a beleaguered expression.

The strange girl shuffled inside. "I was just -- the fights are over, Captain. We have a winner." Grimm noticed that, while the girl's thick tail ended in a crescent moon like Captain Black's, hers was vertically fanned while the Captain's was horizontal.

"Oh, really?" The Captain raised her brow. "And is he --"

"Actually, umm, I mistook, ma'am. We have... two winners."

"What?"

"A pair of brothers, Captain. They, umm, they beat everyone else, got to the finals, and then demanded you take them both aboard."

The Captain huffed. "I specifically told Scum Rat --"

"They, umm, overpowered Scum Rat, ma'am. He's in sick bay. They, uh, busted him up pretty bad."

"What?" The Captain suddenly looked furious. "And they expect to be taken aboard?"

"They demanded it, ma'am. Said they'd won fair and square."

"Fair 'n' square my fat arse," the Captain growled. She tapped the table. "Tell ye what, Miss Roo: ye take care of these meddlesome brothers, and I'll consider yer request."

Marcella nodded. "I'm sure I could manage." She grinned.

"I'll even let two o' ye fight 'em, make it fair."

Grimm cracked his knuckles. "Alright! I've been itching for a --"

"No, not you." The Captain giggled and pointed to Joy. "Ye will be the kangaroo's partner."

Grimm looked over at his companion. "Wait a minute --"

Joy huffed. "Bring it on."

Oh.

Grimm didn't like this. He tapped his foot as he looked down at the arena, arms crossed over his chest. "Joy's no fighter," he said under his breath. "...right?"

Captain Black was sitting next to him, legs crossed, looking annoyed. "This whole messy business.. these fuckin' brothers..."

"Do you know who they are?"

"Sellswords callin' themselves... the Wreckin' Ball Brothers, right?" She looked up at Eska, who was standing nearby, wearing a fretful expression. "Terrible fuckin' name."

"Wait." Grimm turned to the Captain. "Did you say --" He gritted his teeth. Not those idiots, he thought. If Captain Black was right and the brothers were who they claimed to be... Fuck.

The Brothers had entered the arena.

It was them. Grimm's old foes, the Wrecking Ball Brothers.

They were bulls, and though Grimm had always found them poor representatives of the species they possessed all the classic qualities of his ilk.

The eldest brother, Hugh, stood about 5'7", tiny by bull standards. He was coated in light brown fur the color of dried mud, with short horns jutting from either side of a dark purple mohawk. He wore faux leather armor over his torso, a loincloth, and knee-high boots that were cut off to expose his toes. A rubber flail lay crossed over his shoulders. He was slender, scrappy, lacking the musculature of Grimm or Daisy.

The younger brother, Fist, was another matter entirely. The hulking brute stood almost a full two feet taller than his big brother, and though he also lacked the taut muscles of most bulls he made up for it with prodigious bulk. The bull was nightmarishly fat, big gut hanging over his loin cloth and shaking every time he moved. His head was a thumb-shaped knot of flesh distinguished by an oversized nose hoop and a long, grey ponytail. His big, oversized horn was missing its twin, which had been snapped off near the base. Unlike Hugh Fist was unarmed.

Grimm sighed. There was a reason the miscreants were known as the Wrecking Ball Brothers.

Hugh's enormous testicles hung freely from his loincloth, reaching all the way to his knees. They jiggled and shook with every step. Fist was similarly endowed. "So," he called out, looking up at the stands, "ready to let me 'n' Fist aboard, Captain?"

The Captain rolled her eyes. "Sorry, boys, we've got a spoiler."

"Eh?" Hugh spit in the dirt. "That wasn't part of the deal."

"Oh, an' throwin' the final round so ye'd both be hired wasn't?"

Hugh huffed. "Whatever! Send out your --" His eyes narrowed. "Wait a minute... Grimm, is that you?"

Grimm sighed and stood up. "Yeah, Hugh, it's me."

"What are you doing up there, you big bastard?"

"Right now? Getting ready to watch you and your idiot brother get your asses kicked."

Hugh's tongue slid over his gums. "Let us fight him, Captain! We've got a score to settle."

"I don't care about boys' games," said the Captain. "This is for a job, and a job must be done correctly. If ye beat these last foes yer welcome to come aboard."

"And you'll take us all the way to Damona's Isle?"

"All the way."

"And the treasure?"

"Split, as agreed."

Hugh grinned. "Fine, then. Send 'em out." He looked up at his titanic brother. "Hope your bags are packed, Fist."

"My bags are empty, brother," said the giant. "We need room for treasure, eh?"

Hugh cackled. "Well said, brother."

The door opened. Joy and Marcella strode into the arena.

They'd both dressed for battle.

Joy wore a tight-fitting tunic that constrained her bust, allowing Grimm to see that, beneath the softness he so admired, the cow was rather athletic. While her arms were still exposed, showing off her tattoos, Joy wore leggings that went all the way down to her feet, leaving only her toes and heels exposed. It was weird -- Grimm had never seen so little of Joy's skin before.

Marcella was in the same garb she'd worn the night she and Grimm met: tight straps covered her form head-to-toe. Under different circumstances Grimm would have admired the jiggling and bouncing that accompanied the shapely roo's every move; here, however, he only felt anxious.

The Wrecking Ball Brothers burst into laughter. "Are you fucking kidding me?" Hugh asked, throwing his head back and laughing at the ceiling. "These are your spoilers? I thought we were gonna fight that big fucker Lump or one of your rhinos or something, not these two sluts."

Neither Joy nor Marcella reacted.

"Look at 'em, Fist. See how tough they're acting?" Hugh laughed.

"I intend to pound them into the dirt," Fist said, crossing his arms, "and sit on their faces."

"Sounds good to me, little bro." He snarled, "Bring it, bitches!" The brothers rushed in unison.

Marcella assumed the dancing stance from before. Joy bent her knees, bracing for impact. It was only now that Grimm noticed the cow was armed. She was gripping a pair of tonfa and raising her arms, preparing to strike.

The moment the brothers closed the distance Marcella cartwheeled to the right and kicked Hugh square in the jaw. He spun wildly, caught off-guard, only catching himself at the very end and reeling back to dodge the kangaroo's followup strike.

Joy ducked forward and landed two quick strikes on Fist's enormous stomach, then rolled to the side to avoid his attempt to grapple her. Whoa, Grimm thought, I didn't know she could do that...

Now that he was closer to Joy Hugh swung his flail toward her. She arched her back; the head of the flail missed her nose by an inch. She retaliated by swinging her tonfa into his shin, though he quickly recovered and brought his flail down in a vertical strike. Joy struck the head of the flail with her tonfa, throwing Hugh off-balance. He stumbled to the left, and before he could ready another strike Joy kicked him in the stomach.

"Holy shit!" Eska exclaimed. She looked at Grimm and the Captain and blushed. "Sorry..."

Marcella, meanwhile, was dodging Fist's attacks, occasionally going on the offensive and landing a quick kick or tail-strike to his belly. But the big bull shrugged off her attacks, insulated by his blubber. Fist threw a hard punch toward the marsupial; she quickly flipped into a handstand and swung her big, fat ass into his strike, redirecting it into the wall. She didn't waste any time: she wrapped her legs around the bull's arm and swung up onto it, cartwheeling along his meaty appendage and kicking him square in the face. The bull spluttered and reeled backward.

"You fucking bitch," Hugh growled, readying another strike. "We're the Wrecking Ball Brothers! No one fucks with us!" He spit. "Not you, not her" he pointed at Marcella -- "or her" -- Captain Black -- "not even him!" He pointed at Grimm and spit again.

"You know Grimm?" Joy asked, moving into a defensive stance.

"Know him? That big dopey fuck broke my brother's horn!" He seethed. "Now look at 'im!"

"The big fuck had it coming!" Grimm roared.

"Damn you!" Hugh kicked the dirt. "After I beat your girlfriends senseless I'm gonna come up there and do to you what you did to my little bro!"

"I swear, Hugh --"

Joy giggled. "Settle down, honey. Me and Marcella can take care of ourselves." She grinned. "Just sit down and watch me annihilate this fool, okay?"

Hugh was already upon her. He swept his flail toward Joy's feet, hoping to knock her off-guard --

-- to which she responded by jumping up and landing on the flail. She pushed it into the dirt with her heels and then leapt forward, landing a knee strike on Hugh's forehead. As he reeled backward, yowling in pain, she twisted in mid-air so that she was almost upside down. Before the bull knew what hit him the cow brought her tonfa down on his oversized sac.

Hugh's eyes went wide as saucers. "Fuck!" he roared, stumbling backward. "My fuckin' balls!" He landed in the dirt with a thud. "You fuckin' bitch! I'll --" Joy was having none of it. She delivered a kick square in the middle of the bull's sac, sending him reeling with pain.

"No one calls me a slut. Or my friends." Grimm saw Eska fist pump out of the corner of his eye.

Speaking of which, Marcella had wrapped her legs around Fist's face and was punching the top of his head. As he punched up toward her she swung around to the back of his head, letting him bring his fist down on his own face; then, as he reeled in confusion, she dropped down, grabbed his nose ring, and pulled as she descended.

The bull went tumbling face-first into the dirt. Rather than wait to land Marcella angled herself toward the wall, pushed off with her feet and tail, and flung herself onto Fist's back. She ran across the bovine's supine body until she came to his ass. She used her powerful legs to spring from his ass into the air.

Grimm swore Marcella blew him a kiss as she hit the apex of her launch. Then she flew downward, feet-first, into Fist's massive testicles.

The arena reverberated with the thunderous sounds of the giant bull's cries of pain. Marcella refused to listen or offer mercy, however, rolling off of Fist's balls and kicking them as she hit the ground. His whole body quaked with pain.

The brothers went (mostly) still, curling in on themselves and holding their battered assets.

Joy and Marcella strutted toward each other and high-fived.

"Whoo-hoo!" Eska jumped in the air, pumping her first. She blushed again when she saw the Captain's withering stare. "Sorry, Captain."

"That was awesome!" Joy cried, giggling. "You're so cool, Marcella."

"You're no slouch yourself, shug!" Marcella was grinning. The pair turned to Grimm and Captain Black. "So?" Marcella asked, arms wide. "Can we come aboard now?"

Captain Black cackled. "Marvelous!" She clapped her hands together. "A fine battle. I'd be glad to have ye --"

The brothers suddenly rose, blowing hot air from their nostrils.

"You think you're better than us?" Hugh roared, readying his weapon.

"My aching balls!" Fist cried. "The indignity...! I will bury you beneath them!"

Joy and Marcella rolled their eyes in unison as the brothers rushed toward them. The ladies looked at each other, nodded, and closed the distance.

Hugh was the quicker of the two brothers... to his detriment. The moment he reached the middle of the arena Joy deflected his pathetic attack and kicked him in the chest, sending him backward. Marcella leapt forward and, with her powerful legs, kicked him as hard she could, sending him flying backward... straight into Fist.

The force of Hugh cannonballing into Fist sent both brothers flying into the wall behind them. Hugh wheezed, trying to catch his footing before Fist collapsed onto him from behind. However, Joy and Marcella had other plans: they repeated their tandem attack, harder this time --

-- and sent the brothers through the wall and into the open space beyond.

Grimm suddenly remembered that the underground arena was in a dock building, meaning it was just above the water... he guffawed as the brothers tumbled into the sea.

"Fuck you!" Hugh cried as he and Fist were swept away. "We had a deal...!"

Marcella sighed. "Okay, you were saying?"

Captain Black cackled with glee. "Welcome aboard!"

"Yay!" Joy and Marcella cheered in unison, hugging.

The kangaroo kissed her bovine friend on the mouth. She was blushing as she pulled away. "Sorry, got a little carried a--"

Joy pulled her into a deeper kiss. "Mmm... that was awesome, babe." She squeezed the blushing roo. "Umm..." She looked up at Grimm and Captain Black. "We're gonna go -- change. Umm, into something more -- umm -- comfortable." She bit her lip and winked at Grimm.

The bull snorted as Joy, flush-faced and panting, grabbed Marcella by the hand and led her out of the arena.

"Should we, umm, wait for them to come back?" Eska asked, wiggling her fingers together.

"I suspect not," the Captain mused.

"Definitely not," added Grimm. "I'm gonna go drink." He stood. "Wanna join me?"

The Captain tapped the side of her chair. "What do ye say, Eska? Fancy a brew?"

"Umm --" The orange-skinned pirate blushed. "Are you sure, Captain?"

"C'mon, lass. Have a drink with me an' the bull." She smiled at her underling.

Eska swallowed. "O-okay! I mean -- aye, Captain!"

The trio left the arena in search of booze.