"...Sorry about that. I was just, uh...just touching base with one of my girlfriends," he said, presumably to Mr. Hanson, lying about who it was he had actually been talking to. "You know how girls are - they wanna know everything that's going on."
"No problem," a second, male voice then replied, slightly quieter and more distant, yet still somewhat audible, "I actually thought for a second there you'd run off on me."
This was of course Mr. Hanson's voice, and hearing it now, over the phone, suddenly made Randall's current situation seem all the more real (and not just the mental pictures you'd been conjuring up inside your head for the last couple of hours). He really was on a date with this guy!
Presumably being too drunk to notice that he hadn't actually hung up the phone, Randall responded "What?...No! No, of course not." giggling nervously as he did.
This in turn made Hanson chuckle. "I'm just kidding, Laura. Relax."
As soon as you'd heard the name 'Laura' escape his lips, your blood immediately began to boil, feeling you earlier anger and jealousy once again begin to grow. You'd heard people calling your Randall this' many times before obviously - that being his name now - but for some reason hearing Hanson say it, while actually on a date with him (all dolled up in that sexy blue dress no less)...well it, it just seemed too damn informal for your liking and made you desperately want to punch the smug looking science teacher square in the face!
Unfortunately you couldn't really do anything right now, being little more than a voyeur of sorts on this slightly muffled and distorted date, and could only sit there fuming as you continued to listen.
"So what did you tell your friend anyway?" Hanson then asked, a hint of playfulness evident in his voice, "That you're having the time of your life, with the most attractive man you've ever met? Or was it more like, 'please get me the hell out of here! This guy is a complete asshole!' "
Though you'd been hoping for the second option, this clearly didn't seem to be the case at all, and you had to wonder how the hell this guy who'd you'd both always assumed was a bit of a dick and a poser, actually turned out to be a 'pretty cool guy' (at least according to Randall). Admittedly most of your hang ups with the guy had been due to the fact that all the girls were constantly swooning over him like a rock star or something, but still...
"No. Nothing like that." Randall replied, drunkenly giggling again. "Though I probably could have told them that you do the worst fucking Italian accent I've ever heard in my life!"
Right on cue, Mr. Hanson suddenly broke into one of the most over the top cod-Italian accents you'd ever heard, causing Randall to burst into laughter. "What-a do you mean my Italiano is-a no good? I-a speak-a da language as if it my own-a tongue!"
Holy fuck! you thought, not quite believing what you were hearing, Randall was right! This was just like something the two of you would do! (stupid voices and bad impressions being a staple of your friendship).
"You're such a fucking goof, dude! Seriously!"
"You're not the only one...dude!" Hanson laughed, drawing attention to Randall's drunken little slip-up, before returning once more to his stupid impression. "Someone has-a been-a spending too much-a time with their-a students! No wonder-a you can't-a appreciate the beauty of-a da language of love!"
"No. I think it's a more to do with the fact that you sound like a complete-a idiot!" Randall replied, joining in on the joke, causing Hanson to loudly announce, "Molto buona! She's-a got it!"
As weird as had been simply hearing the two of them on a date, hearing them now laughing and goofing around together like the two of you used to do was so much worse, and you pretty much had to bite down on your tongue to stop yourself from shouting down the phone "Oh come...That's not even that funny!"
A minute or two later, after the laughter and the bad accents had died down a little, Randall suggested heading back into the restaurant before their deserts got cold, and what followed was the sound of rustling for a moment, before his voice then mumbled "Crap, left my phone on..." finally noticing.
And with that the line abruptly went dead, and you grumbled to yourself Shit, none too happy that your eavesdropping had ended so soon.
Throwing down your phone, you sat back on your chair and tried to process all of what you had just heard - it having been the exact opposite of what you'd been expecting. Randall was actually having fun with that guy. He was actually laughing and joking around with him in a way you really hadn't ever seen him do while in 'Miss. Card' mode (usually always being so serious and proper all the time). And sure he was pretty drunk, which could account for some of it...but not all of it, surely. What was it he'd said? That if Mr. Hanson had been our age, we'd all be hanging out together? Was this guy like the 'new' you then? Like an adult version, that the new Randall could go out with and have fun? Where you being replaced?
Shit you repeated again, realizing that your jealousy was getting the better of you. You should be happy that Randall's date hadn't been a total disaster and that Mr. Hanson was actually an okay kind of guy (sort of like your own date was), but for some reason you couldn't. For some reason, the two of them hitting it off made you feel all the more uneasy, as if this fact made, what had once been just your overactive imagination running wild, seem all the more inevitable. Could Randall actually end up fucking him?
"No! No, of course not!" you said, answering your own question and quickly clicking off Miss. Card's Facebook page - the image of her gorgeous face staring out at you from the screen not really helping matters much. "He just said he was cool. He didn't say he wanted to have sex with the guy!" And even if he did, why should you care? You had Allison and tonight she had pretty much insinuated that that was exactly what the two of you might be getting up to this coming Saturday.
Deciding then to try and put it out of your mind for the time being (at least until Randall called you back again), you then shut off your computer and switched on your XBox, hoping a game or two of Mass Effect 3 might distract you for a while...
About an hour and a half later, after having long given up on Mass Effect, and having gotten yourself ready for bed - it being well after midnight now - you found yourself just laying there, staring at your phone and wondering what the hell was taking Randall so long. Come on, dude, phone! you practically pleaded, fearing the worst, and once again opening up the picture he'd sent to you before heading out, looking absolutely ravishing in it.
Just as you were about to give up hope though, the phone finally did ring, and you immediately answered, hearing Randall's even more drunk sounding voice as you did.
"Hey, dude. Sorry for calling so late," he told you, really slurring his words now. "You weren't asleep or anything?"
Not seeing the need to tell him that you'd actually been sitting up all night waiting for his phone call, you replied, "Nah, don't worry. I was still up." far more concerned right now with finding out how the rest of his date went.
"Ah, okay cool. Just things went on a little longer than I thought they would. I was worried you might be in bed..."
"I'm not, dude. It's cool," you assured him, asking rather nervously "So, uh...so what happened?"
"What happened with what?"
Jesus, you thought - having almost forgotten how difficult it was talking to Randall while he was drunk - At this rate I'm never going to find out!
"With you and Mr. Hansen. "How come things went on so long?"
Laughing at this, "Oh yeah. Of course..." he then drunkenly apologized, "Sorry, dude, was hitting the wine pretty hard."
This much was obvious, and you were starting to get the impression that Miss. Card (or at least her body) was way more of a lightweight when it came to **** than Randall had ever been in his own body. The few times you'd seen Randall drunk he'd been nothing like this.
"Anyway, the date..." he continued, getting the conversation back on track - before quickly correcting himself on his choice of words, "I mean, hanging out with George. It was, yeah, it was actually pretty fun! Like I said before, the dude's pretty funny once you get to know him. Nothing at all like the poser I thought he'd be. He does some pretty fucking funny impressions too. You should have fucking heard his Principal Johnson, talk about spot on!"
Though he was telling you all this, in truth none of it was really sinking in, being a little too distracted by his use of the name George, it like 'Laura' had been earlier, seeming way too friendly for your liking. You tried not to dwell on it though, still desperately wanting to know what had happened, rather than how cool a person George Hanson supposedly was. "So, you guys just uh, just finished up dinner and then got a taxi home or something, huh?"
"Yeah, pretty much. It was an alright night. Food was good. George was way better fucking company than your mom or Mrs. Walsh...or even Amanda or Carla. I could actually relate to this dude for a change." This however was when Randall suddenly paused for a moment, his tone growing a little uneasy as he somewhat awkwardly stuttered, "There was uh, well there was one thing though that was a bit...well a bit strange..."
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