The Hollywood Remote

I just got back home after a day on the set of a movie. Feeling pretty tired, but I like my job for the most part.

Im a casting director, one of the biggest in hollywood, Ive had meetings with pretty much any big actress. Its really fun working with them, but I wish I could do "more" with them.

I return home and find a peculiar package, no shipping adress, just an unmarked box. I open it and find a remote control, similar to a tv remote.

"Use it wisely, functions on the back" It read, I turn the note over.

"Woman controller 3000:" the top line read, hm, woman controller 3000? I ponder as i continue reading

Power: When pressed, the woman falls asleep untill pressed again

Pause: When pressed, the woman freezes in place, will remain frozen until unpaused

Volume up/down/mute: The woman will talk louder or quieter when pressed

Program: When pressed, the woman will enter a mindless trance, you can then administer any command and she will obediently follow it. Any trigger or personality and she will completely obey

Loop: This will make her loop any action forever.

Fast forward/rewind: The woman will either move faster or move in reverse."

"Hmm, a remote that can control a woman?? Theres no way this is real" I tell myself

I remember I had a meeting tomorrow with an actress, I figured I would test this remote on her.