"Imperial Guard!"

Tzeench looks at with an eager smile and replies, "A Guardsman, really? You realize that you 'll likely be dead in seconds, but maybe that's the point...the constant danger at the fact you are literally one mistake away from certain ****. You'll be an underdog on the galactic stage...I LOVE IT!". Tzench lifts you up and stuffs your head between her huge rack and while a part of you is aware that you are almost motorboating an eldritch entity that plys qith reality like a kid burning ants with a magnifying glass a much larger portion is telling it to shut up and let you enjoy being samdwiched between a pair of big bazongas for five seconds even if you are having the slightest trouble breathing...ok, definitely kinda suffocating but soooo worth it. Tzeench releases you and has a manic smile on her face as you look at her and begin to wonder if you made the right decision. Before you can contemplate your life choices more thoroughly Tzeench says, "Alright, well it's been fun my oh so interesting mortal,but I'm afraid thst you have to go now. Don't worry, I'll be in touch soon". Tzeench then boops you on the nose and you see a light emanate fron your forehead and have the strangest feeling that a golden Imperial Aquila and blue Third Eye of Tzeench just appeared on your forehead. You don't get to process this though as a warp rift opens up behind you and Tzeench shoves you through it causing it to close behind you.

Tzeench smiles to herself as she snaps her fingers causing the somewhat voidlike space to take on the appearance of a movie theatre with the only seating being a rather large couch on the middle of the room. Tzeench sit down on the couch as bucket of popcorn appears in her hand and an extra large soda in the other. She is soon joined by a red skinned woman with one eye.

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"Lady Tzeench, was someone else here just now?", the woman says lookong aboit the theater in curious confusion. Tzeench shrugs and says, "Don't worry Maggie my dear. Juat arranging a bit of entertainment is all", the red woman sighs and replies, "I see...messing with the poor people of the Materium again and my name is Magnus my lady". Tzeench shrugs off Magnus's words and pats the seat on the couch next to her whoxh Magnis reluctantly takes. 'Even after ten millenia studying the mysteries of the Immaterium, the minds and wills of the Gods eludes me', Magnus thinks to herself, 'Then again...I'm not even I could handle finding out the truth of even a fraction of what goes through Lady Tzeench's mind'. Magnus decides to get comfy as she prepares herself to observe whatever scheme her lady has been set in motion and asks Tzeench a simple question, "Is that extra butter?", Tzeench nods yes and hold the bucket of seemingly endless popcorn out to Magnus who takes a handful and starts to munch on it slowly wondering if whatever she's about to witness will give her the insight she seeks.

(A few moments later in the Materium...on a random space hulk)

The warp rift opens up to the Materoum with you screaming rather loudly before hitting the floor with a loud thud that knock the wi d from your lungs or what's left of it anyway after your screaming session. You look around and see you ste in some sort of dimly lit corridor. You see a somewhat mirrorlike piece of metal nearby and look at your reflection to see a young man wearing the tan bodysuit and olive green Cadian pattern flak armor of an Imperial Guardsman of the Astra Militarum. You even let out a whoa as you have a minor fanboygasm as you look over the lasgun in your hands. Yeah you know the lore says it's just a jumped up flashlight xompared to some of the beefier guns of the 40k setting, but still you have a fucking lasgun and that's awesome. Suddenly you hear a distant snorting roar and look around at your surroundings more clearly. "Ohhhh fffuuuck meee", you say as you realize that you are one of the top three absolute last place you want to be as a meager Imperial Guardsman. To the uninitiated, you know thst being a lone Guardsman on a space hulk that has God-Empress knows...wait God-Empress...eh worry about it later, anyway being on a space hulk as a lone Guardsman with only a lastifle, laspistol, a knife, a couple grenades, and no specialized equipment is just barely BARELY better than being assigned to go into the Eye of Terror to face the forces of Chaos but worse than being combat air dropped into the middle of an Ork Waaagh!. In fact, why are you just standing around like an idiot? You've seen Alien and Aliens enoigh times to know that ataying in one place is a ticket to certain ****.