Reclaim the Family Jewels

As soon as you get the signal that the purge begins, you gather your two sons together and you tell them how this is all going to go down.

"I have been thinking about this for some time, and I believe I have come to a decision. This family is incredibly dysfunctional! You boys don't follow any rules!

So what I have decided is that each of you is going to lose a testicle tonight. More specifically, you will each give one of your testicles to *me*! This will hopefully mellow you all out and set you back on the right track. Any questions?"

Your children stand there dumbfounded.

After a painfully long silence, the youngest of your sons begins to speak;

"...Why mom? ...Why do you want to pop our balls? You've helped us every year up until now!"

You put a hand on his shoulder and reply in the sweetest tone you can manage;

"Oh sweetie, I don't *want* to pop one of your gonads, it's just what is necessary I'm afraid" you think for a second before adding "Okay no, your right, I do want to do it. I really really do, but that doesn't change the necessity! One day you'll all thank me for taking them from you, I promise"

Seeing that they are all very much not convinced, you switch to a stern tone and say;

"However, if I have to fight anyone over this then I won't leave them any, understood?"