Truths and Reconciliations

Freshly showered, Wes descends the stairs dressed in a black jersey, ankle high socks, and gray sport shorts. He has a skip in his step as he heads towards the kitchen. “Good morning Wes, have a seat.” Andre offers in a calm, cool, and collected manner whilst seated at the kitchen table. Andre is sporting black business slacks, a blue polo, and a clean-shaven face. Wes is taken aback, here he is entering into a serious conversation wearing gym clothes and a giddy attitude from this morning’s fun. On the other hand, Andre is dressed for success and without a hint of a hangover. Timidly sitting down, Wes hopes his casual arrival into the kitchen will be quickly and quietly forgiven.

Sitting with an engaging smile and his fingers interlaced, Andre is in his ‘professional mode’. These are the mannerisms and demeanor he uses in his career as a financial advisor. It is specifically designed to produce an air of competence and place worried clients at ease. He exemplifies his experience in conducting himself this way when asking “Would you like to start first or shall I?” Even though he is supposed to be providing an explanation for an error, he puts the ball in their court first. Some clients angrily trot out their complaints, and others become inexplicably defensive, but they all feel as if they are legitimately being listened too with this method. Nonetheless, his answer will be the same.

Wes pauses for a moment as his mind finally pulls away from being preoccupied by his girlfriend’s ‘lovely Saturday morning’. Having prepared nothing beforehand to say, he falls back on his reliable investigation skills to carry him through. “Andre… I want to know what is going on in your head. You have never before hired a prostitute. Hell, you never mentioned to me you were open to that. We always shared everything, sexual or not. Granted, if you had asked me, I would have tried to dissuade you. But, if I couldn’t change your mind, then I would have helped you and you know I would. What’s gone wrong between us that you believed you had to hide this from me?”

Andre lets out a long sigh, “I haven’t been… intimate with anyone since Tammy and I split.” Wes interjects “Wait a second, that can’t be true, you have been on a ton of dates with different women. Like two or three weeks ago there was that redhead you brought over to have dinner with us after your reservation got cancelled. Katrina even commented on how lively and gorgeous she was. She was very obviously into you, it almost felt like Katrina and I weren’t even there. Didn’t you get another date with her after that?”

“Yes I did, but it didn’t work out, none of the ones since Tammy worked out. The first few dates usually start out great, progresses as you expect, but, once it gets to the bedroom, they all back out and leave.” Again, Wes interrupts “I don’t understand. What’s changed since Tammy?” Annoyed, Andre continues “I’ve been having this problem since I began dating.” Shocked, Wes’s voice quickens when he asks “What?! You never told me this. Why?” Trying to remain calm, Andre replies “If you would let me speak without interruption, I may enlighten you.” The annoyed expression on Andre’s face makes it clear to Wes that he needs to shut up. He opens his mouth to reply but thinks better of it and cedes the conversation to Andre.

“There’s no easy way for me to say this…”

A sense of dread expands inside Wes from this phrasing and the long pause. He can’t help but think about all the things that could be wrong with his friend he has known since childhood. “It can’t be cancer or something like that, he is too young. Maybe bad circulation, that can cause erectile dysfunction right? OH NO! That basketball game back in high school when I kneed him in the groin trying to make that stupid jump shot. I can’t believe it; I broke my best friend’s dick and ruined his chances to get a woman for life.”

“but the truth is…”

Wes’s mind is racing. He is imagining all the women he has ever seen Andre be close to and now envisions them laughing at him being unable to get it up. “How could I have been so selfish? I only attempted that hopeless jump shot to impress... fuck I can’t even remember her name. I didn’t mean for Andre to get hurt. And I didn’t even have a chance with her anyway. I’m so sorry man, I threw away your romantic future for nothing. Shit, shit, shit!”

“that my penis is quite large, and most women can’t handle the size.”

Andre doesn’t pause for more than half a second “Some become speechless, others embarrassed. In the end, the stereotype of having a ‘big dick’ or a ‘monster cock’ making you more desirable isn’t true. The women who have seen mine stare at it, try to mentally measure it, think about if it will fit inside them, and then most just bail. Some are kind and apologetic; others laugh and gawk. In spite of her many faults, Tammy was one of the very few women whom I have ever actually had sex with. I’m sorry I never told you any of this, but I imagine, if you had the same problem, you would have the same difficulty explaining this to me.”

Wes.exe has stopped working, would you like to restart? [OK]

The silence seems unending. Eyes wide and expression blank, Wes is still rebooting and tries to think of a response. He’s got nothing. He had no idea this was the conversation he was walking into this morning. Slowly, his mind starts trying to make sense of this information and certain recent events. He gathers himself and finally speaks after what feels like an eon has passed.

An ‘oh’ stammers out from a dumbstruck Wes. “Oh.” Andre parrots. “Oh what? Now is not the time to be shy Wes, let’s hear it.” The repurposing of his words from last night stung, but Wes can’t deny it, he deserves that jab. “So… you tried to hire someone with more… uh… experience?” Andre nods his head. “Someone who you could be intimate with but without having to worry as much about rejection?” Andre nods again. “And you figured someone in the BDSM scene might have used toys or whatever that would allow them to take something larger than normal?” Andre shoots Wes a finger gun of confirmation with an exaggerated wrist movement.

“I… uh… I’m sorry man. I would never have guessed you had this issue. With all the dates you’ve been on, I thought the romantic part of your life was smooth sailing. I honestly thought you were drinking more only because Tammy left on accord of her shitty ways. I reckoned you were sorting yourself out. I should have addressed it when I first noticed. I don’t know what to say.” Andre consoles him with “You don’t have to say or do anything. Its my problem and it is, or I guess was, private.” Wes shifts his glasses and uses a thumb and finger to rub the bridge of his nose when his head suddenly snaps up. “Ok, next time we-“ Andre shakes his head. “There won’t be a next time, I checked the site again this morning, banned. I searched around some more but Domeno was correct, not a lot of availability in this area. I’m not sure I’m ready to hire anyone anytime soon after what happened. I think I will stick to dating for the time being.”

“Damn. I want to help you, truly I do, I just don’t know how. Together, I’m sure we can find a woman who is also interested in ball gags, cuffs, and all that other bondage stuff you’re into.” Andre replies “Actually, drunk me probably wasn’t paying the proper attention to the options available. Like you said, I was looking for someone with experience. Sorry about the cuffs and gag.” The mood in the room brightens. “Shit man forget about it. I’m the one who messed everything up. If I knew then what I know now, I probably would’ve reacted differently. As it was, I freaked out thinking somebody was trying to hurt us. I got to admit though, when I believed it was Katrina doing all that stuff to me, the sex felt incredible.” Andre breaks character and laughs “You kinky dog! Here I was fretting over this part of the conversation. I thought I traumatized my best friend, not fulfilled a fantasy of his.”

“What can I say? Don’t knock it until you try it.” Wes advises while throwing Andre an exaggerated wink. With a shit-eating grin, he follows up with “I’ll tell you the full story later. But first, I’m going to the gym with Katrina and we will talk about last night along the way. Based on this morning, at least the romantic part of my life will be smooth sailing.” Standing up from his chair with a warm smile, Andre replies “I’ll bet, I’m sure the whole neighborhood knows as well. But first, come here.” Andre opens his arms and Wes gets up and steps around the table to accept the hug. They always hug after big arguments. No matter how crazy the world is, Andre and Wes always find a way through it together.

“Now go on and get, you horn dog.” Wes backs away from his friend’s embrace to leave the room and, while spinning round to face the stairs, howls out a long “Awooo!” Then he runs upstairs to check on Katrina. Andre stands in the kitchen, shaking his head, chuckling at the spectacle.