Keep The Apple

I shook my head and tried to keep a straight face.

"You're sticking with the Apple. What if I was to offer you a hundred years of worship and the box? Two Hundred? Three Hundred? FOUR hundred years for the Apple and I'm throwing in the box. Sure thing. He's sticking with the Apple. Ok, Jay, let's see what's In the Box!"

"That's right, Monty, it's Wisdom! Wisdom, the only thing that you can carry across all lifetimes! Understanding of errors, comprehension of Conundrums, and that's NOT ALL! It also comes with domain over craftsmanship for the ladies! Weaving, Sewing, Decorating, and much much more! Move over Betty Crocker, because you've got Wisdom Power! And last but not least, how would you like to be Guardian of a CITY!"

Helen screamed with joy, jumping up and down and hugging Monty with gusto.

"ATHENS! Legendary home of heroes, and center of the Greek world! We'll also throw in California and Virginia as well as any other daughter cities that use your symbol! A Prize package worth Two Thousand, Three Hundred years of Adulation and Worship!"

"What was that Helen?"

"I said... oh my... it's... it's all so wonderful..."

"Yes, well, you can believe it dear, it happened to you. Right here, On Let's Make A Deal. But, I see that I've got a guy who can't believe what he gave up for a piece of fruit."

Monty smiled. His eyes flitting to the Apple again.

"But that's ok, because you've still got that Apple in your hand. You're thinking, Uncle Monty wouldn't have offered me that just to zonk me. Well you're right, because I tell you what I'm going to do here, Brent. You're still smiling, still look like you're having fun, so what I'm going to do is this. I'm going to point to where Carol is standing, in front of Curtain Number Two. And I'm going to offer you what's behind Curtain Number Two for the Apple. And if you don't take the curtain... I'm going to give it to THIS little lady right here, stand up sweetheart... Where are you from miss... Oh, I'm Sorry, Mrs. Kaila from New York, New York! I'm Loving those eyes on those feathers."

Kaila stood from her seat and I noticed that she had not even glanced in my direction. She was dressed in an extremely deep blue gown with huge amounts of peacock feathers attached. The entire outfit was designed to draw as much attention as possible, and even included a small feathered domino mask, which perfectly matched the rest of the outfit. Her smile was broad, and she waved a sign that read "I've got my eye on making a deal with you, Monty!"

"I've got my eye on making a deal with you, Monty! Well, that's wonderful sweet... oh, and a kiss for Uncle Monty. Well... That's Wonderful, Kaila. Is... oh is that your husband you keep waving to? Oh, that's not waving, and you're not currently married."

The crowd laughed in time with the flashed sign that read "Laugh".

"Now... Kaila... I'm looking at that curtain and I'm thinking that there has to be something better than a lousy apple behind that, am I right? Well of course, I know if there's something better back there, and you know that there's something better than what you have, because right now you have nothing, right? Well, if Brent decides he's hanging onto that Apple, you're going to get this to Start..."

The music swelled, and a chorus of harps played as the curtain pulled apart to reveal a flat board with "The Holy Land" written on it."

"Oooh, the Holy Land. Now that's a prize worth thinking about. Tell us about it, Jay!"

"The Holy Land. Major Site of all the Abrahamic religions, dedicated and devoted people, and so much lost and ancient history that it would make your head swim. Central Prize of centuries worth of wars, the Holy Land!"

"And that's just the start Kaila, So... you sit back down, and I'll go back over here to Brent... and ask him to make a choice here. Do you want the Apple... Or are you going to go with the Curtain. But... you know what..."

He glanced back at Kaila who had her fingers crossed on both hands.

"It's not really fair if she doesn't get anything, so I'm going to give HER the apple, if you take the curtain. That's fair, right? And She'll get to hang onto whatever's in that little envelope. Going once..."

I shook my head again, refusing to accept his offer.

"You really are convinced on that Apple... hmmm. What If I was to tell you that inside that little envelope is more than five hundred years worth of worship. But... what's behind that curtain is ALSO worth more than five hundred years. An apple and guaranteed life... or a sure thing... guaranteed possession of the Holy Land, and maybe more... Going twice..."