There's immediately trouble in the siege camp, and Elena helps you find the troublemaker...

"Ach, well, that's the last of the muckle gobbos ta'en off, then. Not ones for a long siege, them. Off to go raid and plunder all the wee villages left unprotected with yon castle on the hill surrounded. I can't imagine the folk in this land will ha'e much love for you, my... *snort* 'lady'."

The warm water feels nice on your skin as you take a bath in your tent, no one present except for Ross, who you've made overall commander of the mercenaries (keep your friends close, and your enemies closer, after all) and, of course, Marzena - who almost never leaves your side these days, both because she'll make mischief if you take your eyes off her and because she's a fearsome deterrent to assassins.

"Mmm," you say, drawing as sponge over your delicate skin before rising and shaking the water out of your hair. "That's a negative way to look at it. Why, think of how many strapping young peasants will have a chance to play hero and get the chance for fame and glory they'd otherwise never get. They ought to be thanking me for livening up their dreary lives."

Marzena giggles. "Oh isn't she a treat? And they call ME a wicked witch!"

"Ahem." you pout a little. "Neither of you are going to help me towel off? The supple body of your liege lady is practically begging for your touch and you stand like hitching posts?"

The tall, beautiful witch with long, straight black hair blows a raspberry at you. "Boo! Adding menial scullery-maid work to my responsibilities now, Zoe? I'm not gonna stand for it. If I wanted to seduce you I'd have done so a long time ago, y'know? Nothing personal, but I'm not interested in women that way."

Ross grinds his teeth. "Ye've forbidden me from putting a hand on any girl for weeks now and I know you're not about to let me have another shot at you, so quit with the tease, aye? I'm trying to keep my mind off such things."

You smirk at him and flutter your eyes. "I didn't forbid you having a girl. I just said that if you wanted one, you had to settle for Marzena and let her practice a spell of her choice on you, first." You do the drying yourself and set to the crucial strategic decision of which sexy outfit you should wear today.

Naturally, while your vast army of hired and levied soldiers toils away hewing trees, building battering rams and ladders, and foraging food, you are focusing on the vitally important task of maintaining your own morale by keeping up your standards of living in such dirty conditions. Only once you are dressed does another of your witches, Hannah, appear once again with your newly captive priestess, Elena, in tow. The buxom red-haired holy woman's robes were pretty tight and enticing already - perhaps that brought in the tithes from commoners better - so she has become quite a popular camp whore now that you've put her to that purpose. The soldiers are quite well taken care of between her, your witches Hannah, Olivia, Rima, Yara and a number of working girls following the camp. Indeed, the number of women serving as an outlet for the sexual desires of so many rough sorts has nearly doubled since you departed Undrek, on account of rebellious peasant girls being recruited on as an alternative to unhappy marriages (arranged or existing) and backbreaking farm labor. The effectiveness of your 'pleasure logistics' detachment is such that you haven't even had to punish any rapes.

"M-my lady..." Elena bows deeply in front of you, blushing at the sight of your near-undress. "You will be pleased to know that I have... again sacrificed my chastity 7 times during the past evening. That should be another 56 silver pennies towards replacing the fence of the church your witches robbed, yes...?"

"Indeed," you say breezily, "it's good that you are proving so popular. Have you been shifting towards taking care of things with your mouth instead?"

Elena blushes and nearly swoons. "Oh.... only once... it simply feels wrong, doing something so filthy in the same posture on my knees whereupon I worship each morning. I noticed that Olivia, Hannah and Rima are rarely able to convince the mercenaries not to... erm... lay with them fully, either, even though they have no such scruples, so perhaps it is for the best."

You nod. "Well, I did call you here for another reason, Elena. I think it is about time you tell me of Irene. I did promise you a week's reprieve, the second week after your time of the month, if you did, mmm?"

"Yes... I suppose I must." she folds her hands obediently. "The truth is, Miss Irene never mentioned speaking to Count Aldergrove, but she was often going to a certain seldom-used stable at odd times of the night... I thought she might be doing something unchaste, so I followed her once, but all she did was speak to a woman in leather armor, covered in a cloak, who exchanged scrolls and notes with her. I noticed the woman had brought with her a 'moonbeam destrier'... a breed of horse rare here, but common in the crownlands. And although it may have been a trick of the light, I thought I saw something shift under the back part of her cloak, like a tail... I'll show your people to the place... but you must swear before the gods that you will not let your servants do harm to Irene, nor ravish her chastity! She is pure and innocent, I always saw it in her eyes... Not like that indecent slut of a temptress, Olivia, who has twice sought to bring ruin to my poor village..."

Just then Baroness Tula comes in, clad in the most practical set of armor you've ever seen her wear - it still has big 'boob plates' on it but doesn't have high heels built into the sollerets or even show off any cleavage. You start and gasp. "T-Tula! You're bleeding! Why did you come here before the chirurgeon?"

"Don't worry, it isn't mine." She tosses aside her helmet and swishes her long braided ponytail, hands on her hips. "I just slew my first man today, Zoe! What a momentous occasion! You need to break out that fine white wine you brought." She sits down on a stool and kick her feet up on the table. "There was another of those ambushes by peasant militia, towards the tail end of our troop train, trying to hit the stragglers in a village we'd passed through and deemed secure. Most of them vanished into the meadows and backwoods again but a few were too slow. Odd that Count Mace decided to leave so many of his peasant militia outside the castle walls. I think there are more of them out there, too, guarding some hidden larders of grain and food - the peasants in the villages and hamlets around here aren't acting as hungry or **** as they ought to be after a tenday of occupation."

"Damn it." you mutter. "They've already claimed almost three dozen of my troops and now there's more losses? I can't afford to keep being whittled away like this - it'll be a month at least, probably more, before we're ready to make a go at the walls, especially since Captain Gregor's plan is going to require us to make or gather a lot of coal and charcoal. How was Mace able to afford to arm these lowly oafs so well after he'd already hired so damn many mercenaries? Do arrows and spears grow on trees around here, or something?"

"Oooooh, speaking of cost-effectiveness," Marzena says, "I was just thinking that rather than have us risk our beautiful - and lucrative - buttockses trying to **** the walls with the troops, it would be best if you let me and the other black-magic-girls do a little bit of demon binding. Don't worry, we won't put them in PEOPLE... inserting demons into woodland creatures, livestock and vermin will make for some nicely horrendous monsters to unleash on the walls. Return the favor and whittle the foe down a bit too, right? And since you've already got a few troublemaking prisoners on hand for blood sacrifices..."

There is a soft thump as Elena's eyes roll back in her head and she falls to the floor, fainted dead away and unhealthily pale. Hannah looks like she's about to cry. "P-please... I don't think that's necessary... R-really, Countess, I don't mind risking the slings and arrows to throw fireballs during an **** on the walls, I'm sure the others can be made to see the necessity, too...!"

You sigh. Well, you're already not the most popular ruler in the region, but you should probably hold off on outright "evil monarch of myth and legend" stuff, for the time being. Still... if you fail this ****, your crown is as good as gone. Aside from that you need to decide if you will try to simply wait at this stable to see if Irene shows herself again, having it watched, or storm in now and try to take anyone there by surprise, so you can find out who this odd woman from the crownlands is.

Aside from that, there is something else weighing on your mind... and certainly, on the mind of most of your female friends and subordinates. There are virtually none among the lot of you who haven't taken a cock or two in the eventful past few weeks. Marzena (of course), Olivia, Rima, Yara, Hannah, Johari, Baroness Tula, not to mention Elena... and yourself. It may well be that there will be one or more missed periods this month and it's a gamble to see who will waddling back to Undrek with a swollen belly after this whole siege business is done with. Politics and war is never a clean business, after all...