Claptrap and Gaige's Amazing Anarchist Adventure

“Shit, wedding planning is exhausting.” Gaige moaned, putting her heavy spiked boots up on the rocket’s wing and lying lazily backwards on the ground. Hovering next to her was both her best friend and margarita mixer; Deathtrap. Who was currently performing his duties as the latter when Gaige downed another margarita with a soft burp.

“Hey! Hey!” An annoying voice said, “Hey! Gaige! Been a while!”

“Goddammit! What are you doing here?” She threw the margarita glass onto the ground allowing it to give a satisfying smash before she pushed herself back up.

‘You’ was Claptrap; the most annoying Vault Hunter, and ‘here’ was the outside of Gaige’s spacecraft, which she was currently getting ready for launch. Thankfully while there are laws against driving drunk; there are none against _piloting _drunk.

“I’m here because they left me! Accidentally I’m sure!” Claptrap said, “And, uh, you’re my only ride outta here minion!”

Gaige sighed, having already resigned herself to her new travelling companion, “Can’t you just like, live here or something?”

“Nope! It’s scary!” Claptrap responded.

“Well, fuck. Rule one for travelling with me? Don’t talk.”

Claptrap broke rule one. A lot.

It was already a cramped spacecraft; barely fitting just one young girl. So Claptrap hung from the roof like an ornament, shitty wires suspending him from the roof. Gaige sat in her pilot seat, half-eaten box of cold takeaway pizza by her side. She gripped the piloting wheel and lazily slung it, mostly doing so just to hurt Claptrap.

“Soooo, where you going? Ow!” Claptrap yelped as he swung from side to side with the ship.

“I’m taking you back to Sanctuary. Like, and doing so as fast as this pile of shitty junk moves.” Gaige rolled her eyes, as she did another small spin just for the hell of it.

“Ah!” Claptrap yelped as he banged against the wall, “Come on Gaige-y! It’s been ages since we last talked! What have you been up to all this time?”

“Alright, I’ll answer your question if you promise to never call me Gaige-y.” She paused waiting for any sort of confirmation before continuing, “But yeah. Just been flying around… doing bounties, causing chaos and, uh, killing peeps. The last one helps with the other two.”

“That’s cool! Especially the killing people part!” Claptrap said obnoxiously before continuing annoyingly, “I’ve been up to a lot too! I saved Pandora and, wait, did you hear about the Children of the Vault- Ergh!”

“Yup.” Gaige cut him off immediately before he could continue as she barrel rolled the ship.

Claptrap’s blue eye blinked, “Oh, well, you know… you were always my favourite of my minions!” Gaige just hummed hands hovering menacingly over the pilot wheel before Claptrap continued, “Like, your whole anarchy thingy was always super cool!”

“Anarchy thingy? Uh, Clap, do you even know what anarchy is? Anyway… that was a phase. Just a phase I was really into.”

“Wait, Gaige! You can’t let go of your anarchist dreams! Dreams are like... important and stuff!”

“I mean… I’m not letting go of my dreams or whatever… I’m just tempering them. Like, until I get this whole stuff with Holloway sorted and…” Gaige mumbled off as she got lost in thought. Who knew that killing a rich person's daughter would get you into trouble?

“Don’t give up Gaige! You can still be an anarchist!” Claptrap yelled happily as he clanked against another shelf, allowing a random Hyperion gun to fall on the ground.

“... Are you listening to me?”

“I’m too busy talking to listen! Don’t worry Gaige, I’ll give you the anarchist day of your dreams!”

“Yeah, do me a favour and don’t do that.”

“Well! I’m going to do the anarchist thing and do that. Because that’s what anarchy is right?” Claptrap said dumbly.

Gaige wasn’t that worried though. It was Claptrap and all of his plans were destined to fail anyway, right? He’s never done anything successful in his life. Unfortunately, Gaige forgot one very key detail; that usually other people suffered from Claptrap’s incompetence. And she was about to be at the centre of one of his terrible schemes...