Girls laughing at your little penis.

“Hey everybody! Check out Sam’s tiny dick!”

As your friend Chris keeps you locked in an armbar to expose your ‘cute little weenie’ to all the laughing girls abound, you feel your head go dizzy from the embarrassment; it’s utterly humiliating to watch sexy girls like Dana, your blonde ‘bestie’, and an endless ocean of European hotties make you a target of bemused mockery.

You know that the still-giggling Zoe doesn’t mind the ‘cute little weenie’ But that doesn’t change the fact despite your athletic body, handsome face, and general boyish charms, you’re seriously anxious about your snack-sized endowment. The paralyzing fear of girls laughing at the teeny weenie in your pants had kept you out of serious relationships for a long time, and in this moment, when all those people giggle, pointing straight at your bared crotch…

Let’s just say your fears of being utterly humiliated feel well-founded.

“Aww, he’s got a tiny shrimp dick!”

“Do you have your camera, Dana? You need to send me pics of this naked loser!”

“That poor boy… he’s got a winky the size of my pinky.”

“Hahaha! That’s one wee penis!”

About when your face has become redder than Superman’s cape and you think you’re about to keel over from shame, the last thing you’d ever expect happens.

Rebecca tackles you out of Chris’s arms, kissing you smack on the lips as she knocks you backwards into the sand. Her undersized bathing suit tickles your naked body in a way that sends the blood racing south, and her big, bountiful breasts squish into you like heaven as the head cheerleader steals a kiss from you on the crowded beach.

What the fuck just happened?

And…