The world outside is changing

You left behind the safety of your cave with only your new bag, a pick and a skinning knife. And your staff, though you felt like that might be a waste of space at this point. The sun was high in the sky, and you hurried your way along the cliff path from your home to try and give yourself some space between it and your body if one of your hunters happened to spot you.

Maybe I could make this whole trail a tunnel instead, you wondered. It would mean your cave didn’t get as much direct sunlight, but if you could finally get a fire going then light and heat wouldn’t be an issue. Still, it was nice waking up to the sunrise.

You made it to the main mountain path and, since you were out looking for stone, made the left headed back up the mountain. Just yesterday, looking for goat, this path had led you to life changing events. Maybe today would be the same?

Taking the early left at the top of the cliff, you scanned the plateau for a long moment for threats before setting out again. It was all scraggly trees, boulders and unfortunate scrub bush, just like yesterday. You passed by the first few sets of boulders that had that little sheen about them that suggested they were resource points, deciding to go deep into the plateau now and start working your way back towards the road.

After about twenty minutes of walking, not a sound uttered around you other than your own footsteps and breathing, you stared at a resource rock and decided this was the one.

Just for fun, you punched it. A little progress bar appeared over it, maybe about a twentieth or twenty-fifth full - in other words, farming the rock would take a lot of punches. With a happy sigh, thinking about Adrianne, you pulled the pick fro your inventory and gave it an experimental swing. It wasn’t the most natural feeling in the world, but it was certainly going to be easier than punching rock over and over. You took a swing, bringing the pick against the rock with a Chink! and the progress bar started flying.

Five swings of the pick, and the progress bar finished. This is almost pleasant!

The soft chime of a ‘success’ sounded, and a glowing blue thing burst out of the side of the boulder, spun away to drop on the ground, and then just as it touched it floated up and around towards you and into your inventory.

Resource Node; 1/?
Common, Stone
Drops: Stone, ???, ???, ???

Huh, that was a new popup. You checked your inventory and there sat 3x Stone, safely ensconced in your little blue pouch. Perfect.

So began the great stone farming of… today…

The pick made things so easy, you were practically skipping from boulder to boulder. Each node had either four or five layers to it, and as you broke the final one it would crumble, leaving a different message. You spent the time dreaming up plans and possibilities for your home, running the gambit between massive fortress and hidden paradise; though your thoughts frequently strayed from planning towards memories of your last two days. Of Gaela riding you. Of Charlotte’s hanging tits. Of Adrianne, folded in half as you rammed her ass. After an hour of farming, your inventory was nearing capacity as you broke down yet another node.

Resource Node: 5/5, 7:59:53
Common, Stone
Drops: Stone, Scrap Ore, Gems, ???

Whoa, wait, gems? You had seen the scrap ore coming out at about a third the rate of the stone, but when had you gotten a gem?

There it was, about two thirds of the way through your inventory stacks. A green gem with no identification just. ‘Gem (rare), ???’. When you focused on it, the gem started to glow and rotate and a progress bar came up. ‘Identifying…’

You let the progress bar drop and fade away when you heard the heavy, terrifying sound of a footstep. It was the kind of footstep that made the ground quake just a little, and the rocks tremble and the trees sway in an unfelt breeze.

Thoom, it went, and after a too-long stride, Thoom.

You gulped, thinking of all you had accomplished. Goodbye, bag, you thought. Goodbye, pick.

Thoom. Thoom.

You hurried, darting to try and hide behind a non-resource node boulder and trying your damndest to look as small as possible.

Thoom. Thoom. Thoom.

The steps were getting closer. They were coming towards you. They were on top of you.

….

They stopped.

…

“Hey, you,” a deep voice, with the tone of an avelanch and the booming resonance of an empty cave, said from above you. It came with a rancid wind that ruffled the hair on your head and shoulders. “Aren’t you that guy?”

You slowly looked up.

Standing on the other side of the boulder, looking down at you, was a Hill Giant. His massive head was big enough that he could have bitten you in half. His eyes were squinting, focused on your with their massive dilated pupils. He was leaning over the boulder, and his one massive hand came to rest on the top and nearly enveloped the entire thing. He could have picked it up and thrown it.

“Uh, me?”

“Yeah, you,” the giant said. “You’re that guy everyone’s been talkin’ about, right?”

“Maybe? What are they saying?” At this point it was pointless to be trying to hide, so you slowly got to your feet. Gods, he must have been twenty feet tall at least.

“You’re the Bugbear who’s been fucking the adventurer ladies.”

“Oh, uh, yeah, that’s me. My, uh, my name is Exile. Who are you?”

The giant leaned down further and offered you his fist. It certainly seemed easier to fist bump than try and shake a hand that was the size of you. You did so, and a little popup appeared off to the side, the text in green.

Greg, Level 32 Hill Giant
Monster, Miniboss, Giant, Explicit

“I’m Greg,” the giant rumbled. “Man, what you’re doing is pretty crazy. Have we ever met before?’

“Uh, not that I can remember,” you said. “To be fair, I used to die a lot so maybe you stepped on me once or something. I’m not really sure.”

“Well, I hope I didn’t,” he said. “That would have been a shame, keeping you from a destiny like this.”

“Yeah…” you said, trailing off. You had never talked to a Giant before, that was for damn sure. You’d heard them walking nearby before, and you had always hidden. Giants ate, well, everything. Especially Hill Giants. Greg only wore a loincloth, his extremely massive gut hanging out over the front. He was paunchy all over, and might have even looked like a giant human baby if it weren’t for all the course, wiry body hair sprouting from his chest, forearms and armpits, along with the shadow of facial hair. “So,” you continued. “How are things, Greg? What are you doing over on this side of the mountain?”

“Oh, things are swell actually. Well, mostly,” the giant said. “I just wander around and little adventurers try and fight me. Usually they come in packs, like three or four at a time, but they’re all so little that I just bop them on the head. Then some powerful one comes by later and zaps me with magic or uses a little magic sword thingy and I go to sleep, and then I wake up and start all over lookin’ for food.”

‘Go to sleep,’ was an interesting way of thinking about ****. Maybe giants don’t sleep unless they’re dead.

“But, y’know Mr. Exile Bugbear, I just gotta say, you really inspire me.”

“Oh, really?” you ask. “How is that?”

“Well, y’know, fuckin’ the adventurer ladies and stuff. And thems liking it and all. I’ve tried it every once in a while. Problem is, when I try and put me thingy in them, they also come apart at the seams and all I’m left with is a little sack of stuff.”

He tries to put his thingy in them and they- Oh, gods.

“Well, Greg, that sounds pretty awful to me. I’m sorry that happens to you.”

“Yeah,” he sighed, a bigger, more rancid wind of his breath washing over you and making your eyes water. “Guess I just gots to try and find me a Giant lady, huh? No adventurers for me, except in my belly.”

You had a feeling you were going to regret this. A lot. But an idea came to you.

“Hey, Greg. So, we’re pals, right?”

“Can we be? That would be swell,’ Greg said. “I could tell other people we were pals and they’d be impressed.”

“Sure, that would be great,” you said. “Though, maybe don’t tell them where you saw me, I want to stay a secret.” Greg nodded vigorously, so you continued. “As pals, I feel like I want to help you with your problem with the adventurer ladies. If I could get you one to fuck that wouldn’t fall apart, what would that be worth to you?”

“Oy, boy Mr. Exile. I don’t know. Giant ladies are so rare I’ve never even met one. I don’t even remember my own mother.”

“Would you be willing to be more than pals? Maybe, like allies or something?”

He thought about it for a moment. “If you can get me a lady who won’t turn into a sack when I touch her with my thingy, that would be super cool Mr. Exile. You just let me know and I’ll come a runnin’.”

“That’s great. I’ll start thinking of how to help you, Greg.” Now for the part you weren’t looking forward to. “But, uh, I think for me to understand what the problem is, I might need to see your thingy.”

“Oh, sure, that’s easy,” Greg said, reaching down to move aside his loincloth.

Oh, dear gods of Arkuss. It’s as big as I am.

You nodded, examining the warty, massive schlong hanging in front of you as if it were important you got more than a glimpse. “Great,” you coughed after a long moment. “got it.”

Greg moved his loincloth back into position. “You think you can help?”

“Maybe with some magic. I might need to level up a bit first though.”

“Well, you let me know Buddy Mr. Exile.”

“Will do, Greg. Where are you off to?”

“Oh,” he said with a shrug. “Just lookin’ for something to eat. Maybe them goats up thataways, or maybe I’ll go grab some kobolds or somethin’.”

“Cool, well, uh… have fun,” you said.

Greg offered you another fist bump, which you gave him. “Goodbye, Buddy Mr. Exile.”

“Goodbye, Friend Greg.”

He beamed down at you, his eyes more of a smile than his gaping, gap-toothed horrific grin.

Thoom. Thoom. Thoom, as the great big fucker walked away up the plateau.

You sat down, hyperventilating. You survived. You survived an encounter with a giant twenty-seven levels higher than you; one of the wandering minibosses of Imporne knew who you were, knew what you were doing and approved. If you could get him on your side that would be big. No, it would be huge. Huge as a giant.

After getting yourself together mentally, you finally stood back up and decided that had definitely been enough excitement for one day. It started with respawning, and then you went down into the forest and fucked an adventurer so good she gave you gifts, and then you got to claim your cave and spend a bunch of fame and summon a dark dwarf to work for you, and then you went up the mountain too and ran into a giant and…

This might have been the most exciting day of your life. Even more than yesterday.

You started heading back down to the cave. you had plenty of resources now. It was time to make a meal out of your goat meat and get to work on making your cave secure.

The sun was just starting to dip towards the horizon. The day was almost over. Nothing could make this day any more exciting now if you tried.

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