Don't have a girlfriend

Obviously you don't have a girlfriend. Do you remember how small your penis is? Very small in case you forgot. But how could you? Having a small penis is like the only defining quality you have. You're dumb for thinking otherwise for even a second.

However, absent a girlfriend, this is gonna be an in house affair. So what flavor of big penis sister shenanigans we talkin?

She bangin' your mom? How about you, can you still shit without a seat cushion? She swooping in and taking every girl you have a crush on fucking them in front of you? It's gotta be one of these right?