How Would You Know?

As soon as the I see the light fade from the crack in the door jam Jackie and I rush into the room and you see...Mrs. Anderson. I have a distant memory, one growing ever more faint, of my neighbor and mother-in-law being a tiny mousy brunette. I remember her being pissed and taking the gun to her bedroom. But what I see behind the door is, in my mind, definitely Mrs. Anderson.

For a moment I am stunned into silence by the gorgeous blonde in front of me. A small part of my subconscious thinks "There's no way this woman could ever be called mousy." But, a growing part of my brain recognizes that THIS is Mrs. Bonnie Anderson. Jackie, Gabby, and Abby's mother. My mother-in-law. Looking to Jackie at my side, she is just as confused as I am. But what I also see is the gun on the ground by the big-titted blonde's feet.

"HEY! Jackie, what are you two doing in here? You know you're supposed to leave me alone during my workout time. I spend all day at the gym training fatasses that I need this time to get my own workout in. No one will hire me if I'm just as fat as them!"

"But...your...bedroom?" Jackie stammered, her mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water.

"I don't know what you're talking about dear. My bedroom is upstairs. Is this because I yelled at you guys? Look, I know it's the weekend, but I cannot stand to see my kids just laying around."

"Ah...no. That's not it. I came to ask if I could get that gun back from you. It's...important to me?" Bluffing my way out of this seems like a good move.

"This gun?" Bonnie asked, picking the gun up off the floor. "It's just a stupid toy? Damn near blinded me when it went off. I'll tell you what, I'll give it back to you if you two help me out with my workout. I'm going to need a spotter, and...a post workout massage."