Apologies but no excuses

"I'm afraid I have to leave, I apologise" I answered, it was a bit heart breaking seeing that eternal smile disappear, but there wasn't much to do. My thoughts were exclusively of another girl at the moment, an angelic pancake lover who apparently wasn't so sweet and innocent as I thought she was. I was really hoping I made the right choice in letting her go with the black armoured girl. "Oh, so I scared you already?" Lydia said "Don't worry, I didn't really mean anything, just my poor sense of humour". She chuckled to herself. "Well I guess We'll see each other next week?" She added awkwardly while muttering "Unless you'll apply for a transfer" under her breath. Lydia is an interesting person, I'll give her that, I know ex-military stereotypes are bullshit, but if nobody would've told me she was in the army, I would've never guessed.

"Need a ride uptown?" came a stern voice from behind me, I hadn't exchange too many words, aside from a few pleasantries, with the Sergeant, but my impression of her was that she is the 'answer yes or no, or I kick you' type of person. "Yes, that will be great." I answered the Sergeant. From her tone, one can discern it wasn't her idea to offer the lift, in fact she doesn't seem like the type of person who will ever be 'nice' to other people, that her perfect day is the apocalypse as hell beasts roam the land. So imagine the surprise I got when the vehicle she offered to take me home with, was a small pink two-seater with a plush toy hanging from its rearview mirror. I smiled when I entered the small vehicle, had to heavily readjust the seat but found every little detail of that car fascinating. It didn't compute with her grim disposition. "No, it's my girlfriend's car" she said, as though reading my mind, it probably didn't help that my smirk wasn't gone yet. "If you'll make the mistake of thinking I'm soft, you will regret it", this didn't have the effect of the drill sergeant, but I had to make the mental note to tell this to Lydia and mention her gossip was wrong about the Sergeant being in a break up. Then I had to slap myself mentally for thinking about office gossip right now, or at all.

"Is what happened tonight a common occurrence?" I asked the Sergeant. "You mean rookie cops trying to prove they're badass and making everything worse? No that almost never happens" the Sergeant answered, keeping her eyes straight on the road, the hostility was clear. "I don't think I qualify as rookie if we're being honest" I retorted. "I'm sorry, my mistake, a big buffy hot shot who thinks he can save the day an have the entire city praising his bravery. Is that better?" she asked, the disapproval in her voice was clear. "I think I disagree, I saw a tactical advantage and used it to diffuse the situation, one of them was already dead, and if I didn't act, more would've been killed." I defended myself, it was a weird notion, I don't tend to explain my actions usually. "That wasn't according to protocol, all you've got is you and the rest of those involved kicked by the Bat bitches." she continued her battering. "I did manage to defeat the black one, just so you know" I remarked, annoyed. "So how did they escape, if you were the one who kicked their asses? Or did you let them escape?" she shot back. This had me go silent, and look forward to the road.

"Look, we need level headed cops here, we need people who can think of the big picture and not just rush in on first sign of trouble" the Sergeant said while making a turn, her tone a bit calmer and more sombre. "You rush in, you get killed, trust me on this. The only worst thing is, because we have to deal with the Bat freaks and all the other weirdoes, when you rush in, you get other good and honest cops killed, not just yourself." her voice lost a bit of the harshness, even her posture got a bit calmer and less stiff. "The only reason I'm giving you a hard time right now, is because I've seen how the 'Best of the Best' come here, think that Gotham is just a regular beast and fail. And usually when we fail, this failure has a very high cost." The car stopped, and for the first time she looked me in the eyes. Her big brown eyes had a sad expression on them, they had a very familiar look, the 'when the fuck will this end and we go home' look disillusioned soldiers had when they've gone on one patrol too many, carried one wounded too many or just had enough of it all.

"I really hope some of it got through to you" Renee said quietly, "I believe I understand" I answered. She took a moment and regained her posture "Good, now, I'll return to being a hardass, be safe and goodbye" she finished and hit the gas as soon as I closed the door. While the pink car drove away, I couldn't but wonder if I really made the right decision when I intervened in that incident.

Whether or not the choice was right or wrong, one of the consequences had to be dealt with right now, I was sure she was already waiting for me in my apartment.