Not quite

"Be careful. Don't fuck him." Mandy hung up after her father left her a fifth voicemail. She sold cars for a living. Her husband was a realtor. They were both trained to deal with three-hourers. So-called EDPs. "Alright," she said, marching through the Doe living room with an assortment of the most beautiful Amish and neighborhood women, all naked and purposefully alluring. "No weapons. This house has been cleared. No going against John. Our task is to make sure both John and this new guy can ejaculate freely. They can't do that if they're dead, so we need to compromise. And, finally, absolutely no..."

The doorbell rang. And again and again impatiently.

"Fall in!"

All the nudie cuties lined up from tallest to shortest on both sides of the door. Mandy adjusted her hip scarf, the only piece of clothing in the room and kissed her daughter on the forehead as she approached the still ringing door.

"Hello," she said with a bright smile to the scared-looking young naked man shakily holding a gun to her face. "Where is he?!" the JDM said as he pistol whipped Mandy.

She fell to the floor, but arose with the same smile. "I'm not lying. John went to the school and hasn't come back."

He sat down in the living room sofa and stared at the ground. The girls surrounded him. "Do you need a fuck?" He shook his head no, then looked Mandy up and down.

"I just fucked, but my adrenaline's a little high. I'll need another one soon. But these girls are far too young. I prefer MILFs, like you."

Mandy smiled. "Girls. Get your mothers in here. Alice, go across the street and fetch Mrs. Logan. We're going to give this man a good time."

You crept by the window as you spied Mrs. Logan demurely removing her shirt, while Mandy actively fucked the JDM's lap. If only she would duck, you could shoot him and end this...

"You can't kill him, man," said Chris, your black bodyguard as he stood behind you. You looked him coldly. "Are you here to take me in?"

He laughed. "That was a ruse. You're the town's biggest tourist attraction, and that monster threatened to kill us. Look at him. He's scared. But there's still a line we can't cross. You can fuck my grandma all you want, but you kill anyone, is the day I kill you. Three hour or no."

You knew he meant it, and wondered if he stayed true to his word. You handed Chris your gun. "What about the masoños?"

"We'll handle them," said Sheriff Jones, emerging from the brush. "I found your sister and daughter. They filled me in on the situation. I feel like I'm back in the shit again!" The 63-year-old was being nostalgic for his Gulf War days or something.

You spotted vehicles of Oak Valley SD, alongside Amish counterparts, the neighborhood watch, and the four frat brothers all roaming the street. "Once he passes out, we cuff him and muff him," he showed you a Hannibal Lecter mask. "There might not be a 3H Prison today, but we'll have one made tomorrow."

You sighed as the adrenaline raced through your body. You fucked Linda Lou (or was it Laura Lee?) in the bushes as you watched her mother fuck this stranger, John Marshall, on your sofa. You both fell asleep around the same time.

The masoños never came. Three had died, guns blazing, at the school, which the Sheriff's Department decided to cover up, and the others fled to parts unknown. The cul de sac, which you had legally signed over to you, selling a stake in your thriving business, maintained its level of armanents and security, and you now had a bevy of Amish, feminist, and local beauties to fuck. The ugly ones would be placed on John Marshall duty, currently tied up in Old Mrs. Hennessy's basement.

The events of this past week had been a blur, and you were hoping for some peace, quiet, and simple fucking from here on out.

That is, until you got shot.