A Story About Lisa

“Never tell Lisa I said this, because she’d kill me if she heard that I told anyone,” you say.

“Oh, this is going to be good,” Griffin says. “Christina, get me another beer?”

Christina opens her case and tosses him another, while taking one for herself. She offers you one, and you look down into your empty can. Yep, you could certainly use another, so you do.

“This happened when we were both in freshman year, so you know, still pretty new to the whole drinking thing. Our parents were out of town one weekend, so Gina, my older sister, naturally decided to throw a house party. The night kind of goes as expected - I’m drinking and trying to hit on girls three years my elder. Half of them think it’s kind of cute and funny to watch me make a fool of myself, and the other half straight up ignore me; Lisa’s having a good time with some of the girls on the cheer team, because those are her friends, but she’s clearly having way too much to drink.

“At some point, she passes out on the couch, and so I throw a blanket over her, and kind of forget about her for the rest of the night. At least, I do until the party starts to wrap up around 3 or 4 in the morning, when Lisa starts to stir again. She starts saying something about wanting waffles, and I ignore her at first, but she keeps on going on and on about the waffles, until finally she sort of rolls off the couch and onto the ground, and start stumbling towards the door, still wrapped in that blanket.

“I tell her that she can’t walk to the waffle house drunk, and that besides, the place is closed, so she follows our cat behind the couch to his spot where he sleeps. And then she sits there, petting the thing and still talking about her darn waffles, so I crouch down and tell her that I’m going to go make her some pancakes, because we have the mix in the kitchen.

“And that’s when she breaks into hysterics, and says that it’s apparently “bullshit that pancakes could ever be a substitute for waffles” and she’s literally crying, so I just get her tissues and some water and try to calm her down, but she refuses, and falls asleep still kind of hugging the cat. The next day, I wake up and find her…”

It’s at this point that you realise that the room’s attention has sort of drifted away from you and towards the door, and the looks on their faces have gone from amusement to that of mild horror.

“What’s up?” you ask, as you follow their gazes, and see Lisa standing by the door, an eyebrow raised at you.

“We should talk, no?” Lisa says, gesturing for you to come outside.

What do you do?

Lisa -10
Griffin +3
Rachel +3
Christina +3