Let Lisa Tell an Embarrassing Story About You

“Hey, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that,” you say. “How about this for a peace offering. I give you permission to tell them any story you want about me. Anything.”

“Really,” Lisa says, coming into the room. “I suppose that would be make things even, huh?”

Everyone in the room seems to nod in agreement, and a vulpine grin crosses Lisa’s face. Uh oh. She’s built up quite a bit of dirt on you over the years, and you wonder what she’s going to let spill.

“Toss me some PBR before I get started, can’t do this on a dry throat,” Lisa says, and before long Christina hands her a can. “Okay, okay, where to begin… so let me start by describing the room we share at home. There’s a bunk bed to one side of the wall, and on the other side, two desks - one for Alex and one for me, but they’re made so that you sit facing the beds.

“Now, one day, I get home late after hanging out with some friends, and realise that I don’t have a key, so I ring on the doorbell - no response, even though Alex is supposed to be home. I dial his number, but again - no response. At this point, I assume that he’s out with his friends or something, even though I saw him heading home from school, so I head to our backyard and slip into the living room through the window that doesn’t shut properly.

“It’s at this point that I get kind of suspicious, because I’m hearing a rhythmic noise - yeah, I can tell from your expression that you’ve guessed it Rachel - and as I get closer, I get concerned that there’s an animal in the room or something. So I approach the door cautiously, and what do you know, the moment I open the door to our bedroom, I see Alex jerking it, and of course he gets startled like the idiot he is, so he jumps up and somehow cums at the same moment, and the shit literally flies across the room and lands on my sheets. I had to wash them twice to make sure it was all out. God, it must have travelled at least five yards!”

You bury your face in your hands, groaning. “I didn’t know you were home, in my defence,” you say, and silently, you’re a little relieved - there were worse stories she could have told.

“So… I got the five yards thing, but could you give us any more stats about what you saw? Volume spilled? Length of the tool? Girth?” Christina says, and then she bursts out laughing - you notice that though Lisa doesn’t answer, she looks a bit red in the face.

However, the tension in the room is broken, and a beer or two and many stories (though none quite as embarrassing) later, everyone is just about ready to head out to the frat party.

Lisa +5
Christina +3