Heart to Heart

When the pair of you finally part both of you are feeling a whole hell of a lot better. Her soft hand glides down your arm as she takes her seat beside you.

You give her a smile then look over your "dinner" for the evening. You take the glass of white stuff and give the straw a suck. It wasn't awful but it's artificial vanilla flavor wasn't exactly great. You swallow and smack your lips. "Ehhh, could be worse. I can't wait to get home to have some of your home cooking."

Your mother grins, though you could see something was bothering her. You take another sip then wash it down with the water before asking. "You okay?"

She studies you for a time. "Why are you talking like that son?"

You give her a curious smirk. "What do you...?" It then hits you. Your voice was softer and higher. You were speaking to her like you had started speaking to Fiona. Now that you had tried it and liked it your voice was naturally slipping into a more feminine tone. "Um...I like it. It just comes natural."

She nods. You could see her struggle to understand. "Okay." She says in a valiant attempt to make it sound honest.

"Does it bother you?"

"No. It's just different."

"You won't talk me out of it Mom." You say firmly.

She shakes her head. "I...I'm not trying to." She gives you another long soulful and guilt ridden look. Her brown eyes, a match to your own, peering deeply into you. She says like a scolded child. "Peggy and I had a long talk. She..." Your mother laughs nervously. "...she gave me quite a dressing down." She leans forward. "Jesse, I don't want you to deny who you are but...but...it does seem sudden. Fiona's always known how to manipulate you and..."

"She's not manipulating me." Your face tightens up. Looking her eye to eye you get serious. "Mom. Why didn't you read to Fiona when we were little?"

She blinks a few times trying to process the seemingly random question. "Sorry?"

"When we were little. Story time. Elsie and I would cuddle up with you on the bed, but Fiona was hardly ever there."

She sighs. "Jesse, your sister liked to read by herself." The same rote answer she always gave.

"Mom." You sit up taller. "She was a girl, a kid. She could have been convinced. Surely she would have rather been with us than alone." You can see your mother try to shake the question off but you don't let her. "Mom. Why'd you push Fiona away?"

Your mother is quiet a long time as she gazes up at you. "Fiona..." She lets out a sigh. "...she and I, well, we never really got along. Oil and water she and I. Even as a toddler she was rebellious with me. She questioned me, defied me, I never commanded her respect. With her father it was a completely different story. She was such a Daddy's girl. Honestly...too much so. Those two were inseparable. He would let her do anything and would do anything for her. I was always the one laying down the law and keeping her to the rules. She hated it and on some level she hated me. I think she always saw me as competition, even then." Your mother's eyes drift to the chair Fiona had been sat at just minutes ago. "After your father died it only got worse. She pulled away from me even more. She tried to replace me to you and Elsie which only back fired on her. You two were always closer to me. It was after that her mean streak started coming out. The meaner she got the more you and El banded together, which only made her angrier. She was caught in loop she didn't know how to escape from." She looks back up to you. "Don't you think I tried? I would try to get her to lay with us, don't you remember? She always ruined it. Always. She'd get Elsie crying, or you crying, or both of you. I tried to read with her alone, just her and I, and she would always push me away or throw a tantrum." Your mother bows her head. "I...I took the path of least resistance. I'm not proud of it, but it was so much easier. I did it for peace and quiet and order in our house. You and El were a joy to raise. You were such good kids. Hardly any trouble. Just a joy. Fiona...well, she just sort of looked after herself. It was easier for both of us. Less fighting, less arguments, though still plenty of headaches. She turned into a bully somewhere along the way." Another sad sigh. "I failed her, I know I did. I took the easy path and look where it got us."

You lay your hand over your Mom's. "I think it's going to get better now."

She gives you a dark look. "Jesse...I wish that were true." She pauses as she collects her thoughts. "When she was old enough we invited her into our...lifestyle. Peg, Chloe, and I had already been playing together and we thought it would be exciting to add another. And it was. She is a magnificent lover. But it all fed into her ego. My god, the way she used to dominate poor Chloe...it was obscene. There is a dark side to your sister Jesse. It was all Peggy and I could do to control her. I always thought that once Elsie joined our fun Fiona would mellow out. She's always loved you two like crazy, she was protective of you both despite how she'd act. Elsie, to our surprise, would barely let Fiona touch her and Fiona didn't press it. The odd 'race' and even a bj here and there, but not much. I guess I can't blame El, Fiona was such a bitch to you two. Needless to say nothing changed."

You realize in that moment that your mother still didn't know the real history between her daughters.

"Maybe...maybe I can help now." You offer. "Maybe I can mellow her."

Your mother was doubtful. "You let her own you and control you. My dear baby boy, you gave in to her worst instincts. You think that will help her?" She shakes her head. "Peggy was crazy to give her those genetic improvements. You were...foolish to submit to her. She keeps getting rewarded. She keeps getting her way. Why would she change? I think she might...be too set in her ways now."

You were speechless.

"Honey, I am so glad if what you say is true. If you really found yourself. That is a wonderful thing. We will love you no less. But it is a separate thing from your feelings toward Fiona. Fiona saw in you what the rest of us missed, but she didn't give that to you. Don't get it confused my boy."

"I'm...her boy." You say softly.

Your mother bristles but nods. "Very well."

"She...she completes me. I like it when she...controls me."

Your mother's look softens. Reaching up she pinches your cheek. "I get it. Really I do." She then chuckles warmly. "I sometimes sub for your Aunt when we're feeling frisky. It's not my favorite thing but it is pretty fun. So liberating. You really like it, don't you?"

You nod eagerly. "Oh yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!"

Her smile takes on a devilish twist. "It's pretty exciting, being with family, isn't it? So wrong yet so right. Exhilarating, yes?"

"Yes! Oh Mama, I love it so much!"

"God, you are adorable."

You blush. She smiles wide.

"And to your question from before. Yes, I think you are VERY pretty. Every bit as pretty as your sisters."

Your blush deepens.

"I'm a pretty boy." You coo.

"Yes you are!" You see it. Just for a split second. Raw sexual desire sizzling in your mother's eyes. Lust in its purest form. So THAT was why she was acting so weird before. She shakes herself out of it before settling back in her chair.

"I'll be blunt with you son. I don't approve of what is happening. Not one bit. If you guys want fuck each other, that's fine, but you cannot build a future together. You can't flaunt it to the world. You can't be a **** to her. You can't fall in love."

"It's too late!"

"Call it off. It will hurt, it will always hurt, but it does get better."

"No!" You cry defiantly.

Without missing a beat she adds. "As soon as you are better I am kicking Fiona out of the house."

"No!"

"Well, to be more accurate, since we have to move because of all of the commotion you guys caused Fiona won't be invited to join us. Two or three months at most. I'll continue to pay her tuition, if she can get her grades back up that is, but that's it."

"Mom!" You get ready to lay down an ultimatum but she was already step ahead of you.

"Jesse, I know you might go with her. I know that. It hurts me, but I know. That is your choice...or hers if you let it be. But I won't stand by and do nothing. Not anymore. Fiona can do whatever she wants now, just not under my roof and not on my dime."

You knew your goddess didn't have an income right now. This was not good news! "Mama, wait, don't do that."

"I'm sorry Jesse, but she leaves me no..."

"Mom. Please."

She swallows and says in a firm voice. "I know you will tell your sister. Tell her that she has until the move to find a place of her own. Tell her she's welcome to stay if you renounce this...thing you guys have. And tell her..." She lets out a shaky sigh. "...and tell her I still love her. Will you tell her that for me Jesse?"

You slowly nod your head.

"Don't give up on her." You whisper.

"I'm not sweetie. I swear I'm not. She'll always be welcome back, but I need to set boundaries if she isn't going to."

"It's not fair."

You could see her mind was made up. In a soft patient voice she says. "I love you Jesse."

You wipe your eye to drive back the tear that threatened to emerge. "I know. Love you too Mama."

"I'm sorry I had to lay all of this on you. But I can't talk to her right now. She just....AAARRRGHH!!!" She shakes her fists in frustration.

"Mom...don't be angry." You say in your most demure voice.

This calms her immensely. "I'm sorry." She smiles at you, love and warmth in her clear brown eyes. She pushes the tray a bit closer. "Drink my bo...ahem, Jesse, you have to build up your strength so we can get you home."

With no comeback at the ready you simply reach out and grasp the glass in both hands. Bringing the straw to your lips you slowly suckle the nourishing liquid and gaze at your mother, a thousand thoughts running through your mind at once.