Lauren freaks out

Lauren tried to pick the least painful memory but they were all painful.

All the memories were so heavy. Lauren felt like she was going to throw up. She thought about everyone knowing everything and how she couldn’t do anything to stop it. A terrible thought entered her mind and she couldn’t suppress it; she was probably an involuntary celebrity by now, it was probably all over the news, the internet, late night talk show hosts were probably making jokes at her expense, everyone knew her and her shame. She started to work herself into a fit.

Karen watched the expression on Lauren’s face. She was getting concerned but she didn’t want to drive anything further so she acted like nothing was amiss.

“Have you made your choice?”

Lauren started to cry.

“I don’t know! They’re all just so fucking awful! Everyone knows!” Lauren yelled as she started to tear up.

“It’s okay, Lauren, we’re just here to try. Why don’t we just talk. This might have been a step too far too fast. That’s okay, we can try again another time. Let’s just hang out.” Said Karen trying to sound as comforting as possible.

Lauren tried to ask a question she knew would only hurt.

“Was... I... was I... was I...”

With hesitation Karen Said “Lauren ask what you need to ask.”

“Was I on the news? Does the whole world know?!”

Karen got a sad frown on her face. Lauren knew immediately.

She realized it wasn’t just Jenna, May, Dan, and Susan, it wasn’t just May’s social media circle, it wasn’t just the people who had seen her on the streets, it was the whole world or at least anyone who consumed news media which was almost everyone.

“Lauren try to calm down. You can get through this.”

She couldn’t ever escape this, she thought moving away might be an option but even that seemed lost. She looked down at her body. If she just had been given even moderate breasts by nature she wouldn’t be stuck in this hell, she thought.

“Lauren, talk to me. Let me help you.”

“There is no help...” thought Lauren losing the optimism she had just had a short while ago. She kept staring down at her flat chest under her gown.

Realizing that she was wrong before and that accepting the gown was a mistake she ripped her gown off over her head. once again she completely naked so she could see her own shame. She saw her eraser like nipples stiff and pointing out off her almost non existent breasts. She tore the gown in half and then again until it was unusable. Her breasts, her pudgy stomach, her slight amount of pubes over her exposed pussy all out in the open.

“Lauren, it’s going to be okay. You need to breath. I care about you.”

Lauren knew she did but she also knew if and when she got out everyone would see her as the woman who pretended to have a body, then pretended to be a little girl, and then went through the city butt naked, only to be caught and arrested. She had to face that, she had to face her former friends, her former boyfriends, and even her family. Lauren was breathing heavily.

“Lauren you don’t have to wear clothes if you don’t want to, you know that but, stripping yourself as a self imposed punishment won’t help anything.”

Lauren looked at her. The thought she didn’t need to be punished was sweet but clearly the world was showing her she did. Why else would this be happening? She pretended not only she was normal but she pretended to be hot and now for all that she had to pay.

“If I don’t deserve to be punished Why do I have these?” She palmed her chest with each hand. She then grabbed her own nipples and twisted as hard as she could. She dropped to her knees.

“Lauren you’re hurting yourself, if you don’t stop things are going to leave my control. You need to calm down.”

Lauren let go of her nipples. Karen did care. She tried to bargain. She couldn’t stop herself from being known by everyone for her most humiliating acts but maybe she could stop being herself. She thought she looked like a little girl maybe the problem wasn’t that she was pretending yesterday but that she stopped. Karen had been so sweet almost like a mother.

“Just take me home. I’ll live with you. You can pretend i’m your little kid and treat me like one. I’ll be like this forever and you can be my mom.”

Karen had seen many mental breakdowns before as a nurse at a psychiatric facility. It was part of the mind dealing with trauma. She wished Lauren didn’t have to go through it but all she could do was try to help.

“You’re letting your self defense mechanism become a delusion. You can’t be a little girl and you’re not. You’re an adult woman.”

Lauren wondered if the problem was the offer or that it was her and not a more appealing daughter figure. She tried to sweeten the pot.

“You wouldn’t have to buy me clothes. You could keep me naked. I can do whatever you want. It would be cheap. I would do all the work around the house. I’ll do anything just don’t make me... be me.”

She stood up again and spread her legs so she couldn’t hide anything. Karen was getting nervous.

“Lauren... you know that’s not going to work. I wouldn’t want it to. Not for me, I’d love a daughter like you but that is the exact opposite of what we’re trying to accomplish. You’re a lovely young woman and you shouldn’t want to be anyone else.”

Lauren tried to hear her but she felt it couldn’t be true.

“Punish me. I need to be punished. That’s why this is happening. Are you mad I came on you? Is that why you won’t take me? It was an accident I promise!

“Lauren, you know that it’s okay you orgasmed on me and that didn’t make me care any less about you. How do you want to be punished?”

Lauren hadn’t even thought that far ahead but a few things came to mind.

“I don’t know. Make me live without clothes. Spank me. Make me tell the story everyday and relive it every night. Just make it okay.”

“Lauren that doesn’t make any sense. Do you think once you’re punished enough everyone will forget?”

Lauren knew Karen was right but she didn’t want her to be. She wanted to balance the scales and then maybe everyone would forget.

She grabbed the clipboard from Karen’s hand. She started to smack her own ass with it as hard as she could. It was red after a smack.

“Lauren...I’m sorry.” Lauren felt Karen’s hand on her shoulder and then a poke in her right butt cheek. She immediately felt groggy and fell to the ground.

“The world... the whole world... knows.” Lauren said as she felt like the room was spinning.

“We can’t change that but you can deal with it. This isn’t the end. It can be a new beginning.”

Lauren wanted it to be true but she just closed her eyes and slept...