Alone with Ashe

As you step closer, you can't really see Ashe's face through the darkness so you have no clue if she really is awake or not. Her body continues to sway lightly back and forth in her hammock. With a grin at your High Commander you turn around, lowering your butt into your own hammock before sliding back into it. You throw your hands behind your head and stare up into the sky. Branches from the trees were blocking part of your view but you could still see much of it.

Many long moments pass by, between the light breeze, the slow moving river and the sounds of lovemaking.

"Hey..." comes the soft voice of Ashe.

"Hey."

"Good call with these Hammocks "Ashe begins "Much better than sleeping on the dirt ground."

"I use to sleep in them all the time, back in..." you pause "Rathkin. So, I just got use to them."

"Well, thank you for thinking of me when you packed them. You actually surprise me every once in awhile." she lets out a soft chuckle.

"If we're doing this, then thank you for everything you did to help me with Lexie." you turn your head, looking at the swaying body of Ashe "You really helped me out, with the guards the king put on me, with setting up the whole surprise on the mountain, to keeping her off my trail."

"You're welcome, Darien."

Silence breaks out for a few moments again, both people just rocking in their hammocks, enjoying the ambiance of their surroundings.

"Ya know..." Ashe begins "Lexie won't shut up about you."

"Oh?"

"All day long. I swear whenever I"m with her, she always brings you up for one reason or another. Oh, Darien did this. Oh, Darien did that. Oh, did you see Darien the other day? Blah blah blah!" she jests.

You blow some air out of your nostrils letting out some deep chuckles "When I first got to the Syndicate, Lexie showed me around, yeah? Well, I remember my first time seeing you, Lexie went Berserk, saying how amazing you are. She was always so nervous around you, always wanted to impress you. Yet look at you two now, best of friends."

"Yeah, times change." she lets out.

"And now look at us..." you turn your head to the right, looking into the distance towards Estra, Felix, Neira and Sylvius "A bunch of friends heading off to war while Lexie has to stay back in the Syndicate."

"Maybe you should have kept your dick in your pants?"

You turn your head, looking at Ashe next to you, she's looking at you "Maybe...but what fun would that have been?"

"Or she should have taken some herbal medicine to negate any type of pregnancy..." she ponders briefly "Either way...you're going to be a father..."

"And a husband." you interrupt.

"Yeah. That's a lot of changes." she continues to sway back and for "Now, we just need to make sure you get home safely."

"Yeah..." you reply, once more going quiet for a few minutes as the two of you continue to swing in your hammocks, the fire next to you slowly starting to die off, little moans still coming from the darkness.

"There's just so much more to fight for now..." you mumble out.

"What was that?" Ashe unable to hear you.

"It's just..." you turn your head, looking at your High Commander once more "I use to just have one goal...my only mission was to get Claire back in my life. But now..." you go silent, thinking slightly "But now there's to avenge her, to lead this army, to keep as many of you alive as possible. I have Lexie and my child to care for. I have you. Hell, I even have all these numbskulls behind us." you let out a chuckle "This whole Syndicate army...I just." a puff of air exits your mouth "There's just so much to fight for, to watch out for, to do. I just...I don't know."

"Darien..."

"I mean...this all started off as revenge for my sister. Just to get back at...Him. To kill, Him." you swallow hard "And now there is just so much else, so much more I have going on in my life. It makes me worry...makes me nervous...makes me, scared."

"Darien," Ashe rolls on her side, you do the same, both of you looking at each other as you hang in your hammocks "I have never told this to anyone, but I trust you. Three years ago, my sister was killed."

Your eyes open up wider "Ashe? I...I'm sorry, I didn't know?"

She smiles and looks down at the ground "I don't like talking about it. I don't like talking about my family at all really."

"Ashe, you don't have to."

"No..." she pauses "It's relevant. My sister was older than me, married to a somewhat wealthy tradesman of the Syndicate. Ya know, at first they were happy. I loved them both, I got along with him very well, I figured they were perfect for each other and my sister felt the same. Shortly after they got married, obviously he wanted children so they tried for many nights. Unfortunately my sister was never able to have a child. She was apparently fertile and unable to bear children."

You let out a disapproving groan.

"Her husband found out she couldn't have children and was pissed. He started to sleep around again, being unfaithful, treating her like..." Ashe is clenching on her teeth now, clearing getting upset "She didn't deserve that, no one should. I tried to talk with her, get her to leave him, but...she wouldn't."

"Ashe, I"m sorry..."

"I'd see my sister every few days...and every few days, more bruises, more cuts, more pain in her eyes. But for some reason she still loved him and no matter what I said, she wouldn't leave him." she takes a deep breath, thinking of her next words "A couple weeks later she was found suffocated to death in her own bed." her eyes close.

You toss your legs out of your hammock and lean over, reaching your hand out to grab a hold of Ashe's, to show her you care for her, to show her how happy you are that she's sharing this information with you.

"No one cared. Nothing happened to her husband because he was a wealthy tradesman." she nods her head, her fingers gripping down on your hand "I mean, who do you listen to? An enraged sister or a wealthy tradesman with tons of gold and items for sale. Issues with the world we live in..." her eyes still closed.

"Who is it? Do I know him?"

"He's dead." Ashe is blunt "Days afterwards, I broke into his house, spiked his wine and waited. His body collapsed on him that night...he was awake, but he couldn't move. I walked out from the darkness and straddled on his waist, looking down on him. I still remember...the look of fear in his eyes when he saw who I was." her voice quivering a bit "Probably the same look of fear my sister had when he strangled her to death. I just looked into his eyes, stared into him." her voice has gone stagnant, not wanting to recall this memory "and then I slit his throat. I sat on top of him and watched the life drain in his eyes. The entire time, staring at him with anger."

"Ashe..." you're speechless.

"What I"m trying to say is..." a tear falls down her cheek, dropping to the ground below, a side of Ashe you've never seen before "All I wanted to do was kill him after I found out what he did. He consumed my thoughts, my mind, my feelings. But now...afterwards." she sniffles "Ya know, it didn't bring my sister back. It didn't help my sadness. It didn't even make me feel better. I just felt...empty inside after I left his lifeless body that night." she opens her eyes again, looking back up at you. "I think what I"m trying to say is, fighting only for revenge is never good. It didn't help me and it won't help you. Having friends...A wife...A child. That's something to fight for. That's something to live for."

You can only bring your other hand up, caressing Ashe's with both of yours. "Come here..." you ask your High Commander.

She slowly rolls her legs out of her hammock, your hand still holding hers, guiding her in your direction. You lean back in your hammock as Ashe crawls up, the way the hammock curls up forces her to be laying on your chest. Her cheek, resting against your chest as your left hand is wrapped around her back and your right hand is lightly massaging her upper neck.

"Just..." she pauses "Don't be consumed by darkness like I was."

The two of you lay there quietly, Ashe just falling asleep in your arms as the two of you continue to sway back and forth. You've never seen this side of Ashe before, you never knew anything about her family or about her life growing up, but she trusted you. She told you her deepest life story. Staring up into the sky once more, your mind racing with thoughts. Thoughts of Claire, Lexie, your child, your friends.

"Don't be consumed by darkness..." you replay in your mind over and over again until you slowly drift off to sleep.