Big Jake has something to say

The large muscly man, Jake apparently, smiled down at him. "Oh, so you're Roy? You're the Roy I've heard about, huh?"

Roy cocked an eyebrow. This was getting weirder by the second. "Uh, yeah. Umm... so you're a friend of Sam's?"

He nodded, and grabbed a nearby chair to sit down with Roy, keeping his good natured grin the whole while. "Yeah, we're kind of workout buddies. She spots me sometimes."

While part of Roy wanted to take that statement at face value, the testosterone fueled side of him was making him bristle. This dude, who looked like a pro bodybuilder, was hanging out with his girlfriend? Well, his friend, who is a girl, and also that he has had sex with. Once. That... that does make her his girlfriend, right?

...

Yeah, of course it did! She even called him sweetheart! That's totally a thing girlfriends do.

Jake gave Roy a good natured slap on the back (which forced Roy to cling onto the side of his chair, so as to not go tumbling out of it), and continued. "I met her about a year ago, when she first started coming here. Man, she gave me some solid pointers; she really knows her stuff when it comes to exercise. Hell, she offered to write me up a diet plan. She had charts and everything." Before he continued, he looked around a bit, almost to check to see if anyone was listening in. He leaned closer to Roy, almost conspiratorially, and lowered his voice dramatically. "Dude, she will not stop talking about you."

Roy smiled, and blushed a little. Maybe he misjudged this guy. He seemed alright so far. "Really?"

Jake nodded. "Oh bro, she's got it for you, bad."

Roy chuckled quietly to himself. "Well, I kind of had that feeling."

But at that, Jake's smile, previously a warming presence on his intimidating physique, was gone. His expression absent of mirth, he continued; "Listen bro, I better just come clean. I came over here to talk to you bro to bro. I figured, with the way she was looking at you today, that you'd have to be the infamous Roy I've heard so much about." He leaned in again, but this time, there was a burning intensity behind his eyes. "Bro, you better not be leading her on. I know she's... not the most attractive girl out there, but if you're not into her, you gotta be straight with her."

Roy was, in a word, terrified. Confused also, but mostly terrified. This beefcake could snap him in half if he wanted to, easily. "W-w-what are you t-talking about?" he stuttered. "It's n-not like that, dude. We... we just started going out yesterday!"

And at that, it was Jake's turn to be confused. "Hold up, seriously?" he said as he drew back, his face starting to return to it's previous state of joviality. "Hey hey, congrats my dude! Mazel tov!"

Roy sighed, letting the tension out, as he started to mull over some of the subtext behind Jake's words. Jake was obviously... protective of Sam. An older brother kind of guy, apparently. But... did he just say Samantha wasn't attractive?

...And yesterday, didn't Trevor say something similar? Yeah, now that Roy's mind was a little clearer, he remembered that Trevor insinuated the same thing. Huh. That was definitely weird. Either both of these guys were completely oblivious to the opposite sex, or something strange was afoot.

Roy mustered up the courage he had, and decided to jump headfirst into this little conspiracy. "What do you mean, not the most attractive girl out there?" he said, trying to keep his tone from being accusatory.

Jake frowned a little, and to Roy, he seemed a little embarrassed by the question. "Uh, well bro, I know it's kinda shallow of me, but... well... Sam's great and all, but I'm just not into... that kinda girl, y'know?"

Roy crossed his arms, a little offended despite Jake's attempts to be diplomatic. "You're the second person I've run into that's said something like that, and me and Samantha have only been together for, like, a day. What's the deal?"

Jake backed off a bit from his previous statement. "Hey dude, I'm not judging you or anything, I ain't gonna yuck on anybody's yums, bro. I'm just not a cow tipper like you, dude."

Roy sighed again, this time out of exasperation. "What the fuck is a cow tipper?"

Again, Jake looked embarrassed and guilty, like his mom caught him with his hand in the cookie jar. "Oh, dude, uh... it's just a thing I saw online. It was on Urban Dictionary, it's no big deal."

Roy shook his head. "No really, tell me. I've never heard it before."

Jake was obviously uncomfortable, but he had already made his bed, and now he had to lie in it. "It's... it's a dude who's into... well, cows. You know... big girls."

"What, like, a chubby chaser?"

Jake laughed, sincerely but awkwardly. "I mean, kinda? But, you know, cow girls aren't really... chubby, right? It's more about the giant ass, the giant tits, the giant hips, the giant thighs... you know, all the shit the magazines and Hollywood say are unattractive." He held up his hands defensively, trying to distance himself from the idea. "I mean, you know, everybody's got their kink, right? And it's obvious she's happy around you, so it's whatever, right bro?"

Before Roy could follow up, Jake's phone started buzzing, and he pulled it out of his pocket. "Listen bro, I've gotta go, but if you're ever in need of a gym buddy, I'm always around, right? Tell Sam I said hi!" he finished as he started his walk away, leaving Roy sitting there with a lot on his mind. Roy started to rub his temples, as he was fairly certain he had a headache coming on. Turns out rewriting reality might've had more side effects than just turning Sam's Mom into a milf.

As he saw Samantha in the distance, walking back from the dressing room, he realized that he had a tough decision to make. Should he tell Samantha about the new information he'd unearthed? Should she know that her machine had, apparently, done something to people's standards of beauty? Or should he just keep this shiny new revelation to himself?