I don't care. I just want to eat Indian food.

That is... That is either your attempt to lead into your bizarre fetish, or your attempt to get out of looking at my bizarre fetish.

Whatever, I can work with it: but fair warning, it all comes back around to furry pets in the end: after all, you wouldn't be in this STORY if that didn't interest you at least somewhat...

Well, the lamb was lovely, but now you've got a serious crave on for some dessert! You take a look at the dessert menu and nothing looks great until you reach the very end. There's a little pull tab at the bottom of the menu with a heart on it, and curious, you pull it.

Out of the bottom of the menu comes what appears to be a special offer:

Today Only: Chef's Lonely Heart Special!

A handmade frozen milk confection of seven pints volume featuring fruit and nuts based on family recipes brought over by the restaurant staff from the Punjab Province of India. If any single diner can finish this dessert after eating a regular entree item they win an immediate date with one of the restaurant's chefs!

To enter this contest diner must sign a waiver indemnifying the restaurant from any liability resulting from attempting to consume most of a gallon of frozen chopped fruit, nuts, (including both peanuts and tree nuts,) and milk products, and indicating that they understand that they have no say except gender in which chef will choose to go on the date with them should they win, nor is either party guaranteed to have a good time. Furthermore, contestants should be aware that if they win, their first date with the chef that chooses to go out with them, (hopefully of many, but again, no guarantees,) will be monitored and recorded for safety reasons.

Entry Fee: $75.00+Tax. (Costs associated with subesquent date extra.)

Date Chef is under ABSOLUTELY NO OBLIGATION to give winners their number or perform any kind of 'favors' for them during or after the date! If the chef in question chooses to do so that is strictly their own decision and does not reflect any kind of contractual or professional expectation on the part of this restaurant or any other company involved, nor will they be either compensated OR punished for that choice in any way by our company or others.
(Samsara, on the other hand, we neither control nor can predict, with the exception of saying that generally, Murphy was right...)

Weeeellll now, this seems interesting, so the chefs run themselves a little dating service on the side do they? Well, you've got the 80$ and change to spare and you're still hungry enough to kill a gallon of ice cream: game on!