Trashy

"Oh god... Alex are these cheetah print? And a bedazzled tank top? Who am I, Ke$ha?"

Alex shrugs and offers up her best explanation.

"It's what Amy left at my place and I figured it was for some tramp you'd picked up. She couldn't complain about this after settling for you."

She smirks at you again and holds up the latest object of your demise. A neon green g-string. You'd always loved women wearing them, now the idea of a string of fabric between your butt cheeks seem horrid. Still it's the best you have so you pull them on. Followed by the cheetah print leggings, lastly the black and bedazzled tank top. Pausing to look in the mirror you can't help but think you're hot in the trashiest way.

"Should I just wear a shirt saying 'daddy issues'? I mean, this screams easy. Right?"

"Well yeah, like I said they were Amy's."

Oh, right, soft spot there. Amy was Alex's first real girlfriend, her first love. After two years she went and decided she didn't like girls anymore. She dumped Alex by blocking her calls, texts, everything. Straight blackout.

"You know... I could go kick her ass. It's cool now, right?"

This brings the smile back to Alex's face and she shakes her head.

"Let it go dude, she's over. So, how do we fix your problem?"