You get better after the first few auctions

You meet the volunteer participants in the back room; two doctors and a grey haired administrator from the hospital, an attorney with a politician's polished good looks in an Italian suit, a broker with California-style good looks, a delicate looking school teacher with iron rimmed glasses as well as one of Conner's fellow firefighter and two construction workers who looked distinctly uncomfortable in their poorly fitting jackets and ties. Unlike Conner, these men all seem at ease as they joke about the surreal experience of being sold to a bunch of middle aged rich women even if it is just for charity.

After a quick introduction you pull Conner aside.

"I have an idea." He looks at you expectantly so you shyly offer your suggestion "We really could use your friends, women love men in uniform, especially cops." You don't try to explain. How can you tell him without sounding nuts that at least part of the appeal is in knowing that the officer in question has the power to slap a pair of cuffs on you, press you against a car and then run his hands over your body in search of contraband. "I know they can't make it, but doesn't the hospital have their own security?"

"I think so, let me find out." He calls over the senior hospital administrator and exchanges a few quick words. "Mr. Jennings has agreed to call over to the hospital and try to fill the last two slots." He punches you gently on your bare shoulder "Good thinking Ms. Summers" You're not sure if it his praise, or the contact of his skin on yours but you can feel a tingling in your ears that reminds you of a time long before your marriage when you were first experimenting with dating.

"How much am I supposed to be getting for each of you?" You ask even as he guides you to the stage.

"As much as you can Amy, as much as you can. Last year the top sale was for $6,500," and with that he pushes you towards the podium. Once again you find it hard to even think as his hand flattens against the exposed skin of your back, he is actually very gentle but you can feel the strength in his callused fingers as he sends you on your way.

"H-hello." You stammer as you pull the 'Beyonce' style microphone over your head and survey the crowd assembled in the hall before you, close to a hundred richly dressed men and women are sitting expectantly at tables sipping wine and enjoying the last of the deserts that are still being served in the last few tables in the rear. Get a grip Amy, you and your big mouth got you into this, now its time to pay the piper. "Hello everyone!" You say much more confidently. "Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen and welcome the the St. Thomas charity auction." The first part is easy, as the script was written for you by the hospital's lawyers.

"Tonight you will be bidding for the privilege of one evening's company with some of the cities most eligible bachelors. These dates will include dinner sponsored by six of the city's finest restaurants, please take a minute to look over the names and reviews of these top notch restaurants listed on the back page of the program along with our other sponsors." You are encouraged to see several diners do exactly that as you keep reading "Following dinner you can end the date with your choice of dancing, a walk on the beach under the stars or a late-night coffee at Georgio's fine books." Of the three your vote would probably be for the walk on the beach, although you have had coffee at Georgio's and the experience of sipping coffee surrounded by a truly remarkable collection of leather bound volumes, some of them first editions from the nineteenth century has its appeal as well. "Please note, that the winner of each auction is subject to certain limitations: like with Cinderella, the date will end at midnight, and under no circumstances should the gentleman purchased be subject to any demands of a physical nature." There were some polite boos and laughter at this last clause and you shrug your shoulders and ad lib.

"Not my choice Ladies, not my choice." You grin wickedly "I guess these _Cinderella clause limitations _are what you get when you let lawyers get involved." You quip is answered with more laughter and your confidence is augmented a little more.

The first man up Mr. Jennings the grey haired administrator, the auction went reasonably well as the man was well known and liked by the attendees. In the end he was purchased for $900 by a excited woman in a black gown that would have looked more appropriate on a woman half her age. The bidding for the school teacher on the other hand was tepid and at last ended at only two hundred dollars. You're blowing this girl! Get your act in the game Amy or Conner isn't going to want to even have coffee with you. Next up was the lawyer and even though you end the auction at $1200 dollars you just knew that you could have done better, there are only so many times you can remind the bidders that they are donating to a good cause.

It was on the bidding for the first of the construction workers that you figure out a new approach. The man looks distinctly uncomfortable in his suit and tie, and as you take the bids you stroll behind him and slip the jacket off his shoulders to the cheers of the tipsy crowd, encouraged by the response you pull off his tie and unfastened the top three buttons of his shirt taking the time to run your hands over his shoulders and chest before asking him to turn around for the audience. He sells for even more than the lawyer, and the atmosphere in the hall changes from a pleasant evening to something far more electric.

During the next two sales the removal of clothing becomes routine, each time you undress the men you are more and more assertive and your comments go from suggestive to downright crude.

"It's too bad about the limitations placed on the winners," you joke as the bidding stalls at just under $2,000 dollars "I'm sure you'd be willing to pay a lot more for 'unlimited access' to this fine young surgeon."

"I'd pay 2,500!" a voice yells from the right. "3,000!" comes a counter from the foot of the stage.

"Hold on folks, let me talk to our volunteer." After checking with the doctor and getting his OK you announce to the raucous applause of the participants that they were now bidding for "All night access with no limitations," you pause and then quickly add "except we need you to return him in the same fine condition so we can sell him off again next year." As the bidding climbs past $4,000 you expect any minute for someone to step in and stop this meat market.