A chance meet up with Gamora, the most dangerous women in the universe

They call her the most dangerous women in the galaxy and she sure as shit looked the part when she crashed on Earth that day.

Alex was out on a retreat with some friends in the middle of Colorado. It was a campsite located 33 miles south of nowhere and 82 miles east of nothing. If something went wrong you were pretty much on your own. It was fun as hell once you got there, but when you grow up in the city there is a serious adjustment period. Like when you take a shit you don’t flush, or use toilet paper. You have to find a nice spot, away from everyone and where people aren’t going to go by, and find some nice plants to wipe with, and then you could let loose.

But enough bathroom talk, especially when there was a light “boom” up in the sky.

Everyone looked up and saw what caused it: a small explosion in the upper atmosphere. No one could tell what it was, but it had everyone’s attention. At first it was suspected to be a meteorite that burnt up in low orbit.

“Oh how cool would that be!” someone exclaimed. “Maybe we can find a fragment somewhere!”

Well they did find a fragment somewhere because

WHACK!

And everyone was around her. It was like a really bad jump cut in a movie: her eyes were captivated by this strange explosion in the sky and then the WHACK, and then everyone around her, and the scenery had changed a bit and…

“Oh god my head,” she uttered as she tried to rub the sore spot on her forehead.

A voice started to ring through Alex’s head: Why do people do that? Rub the bruised area? It never seems to help. But for some reason people do that. I wish she would stop.

Someone, in the same voice, said “Are you OK?” this time from outside of her head.

She looked up for the voice. “I’m rubbing my head because it hurts…”

Well it hurts because there’s a flipping blue gem stuck in your head!

“There’s a what?” Alex screamed. She ran her fingers over her forehead: there was something hard and small and it was definitely embedded into her skin. She tried to claw at it to get it out. Adrenaline start to course through her veins from the panic that she felt. Why did she have to trim her nails just a few days before as now she couldn’t get a good grip under the little rock gem thingy to pry it out?

A few hands started to reach in and grab at her to get her to stop. “Don’t touch it, we need to get you to a doctor.” Great just great. “It might be stopping you from bleeding.” Hopefully this can end soon, I need to pee. “This is so awesome.” CLICK. “I’m going to put this on instagram.” Just when I was about to finally get Sally naked this happens! “Dude you don’t get cell service.” This was such a bad idea. “I think she’s going to be OK.” Oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god. “Yeah but I can once we get back to civilization.” “How is your phone still working? We’ve been here for three days!” Three days too long!

But the thing wouldn’t get out. It was stuck in there.

Then a booming voice echoed in her head: Why wont you just die!

Well that seemed a little unsetteling. Especailly since it seems to be coming from that KLANG KLANG POW BAM POW KLANG fight that is slowly on it’s way over to the campsite

Wait someone is fighting?!

Alex looked up and sure enough there were two people in full on battle mode: an incredibly fit and fast green women and a well built bluish hulk creature with a battle axe. Wait, can we repeat that to make sure the reader and I are both correct about what you just said? Alex’s thought. An incredibly fit and fast green women with a sword and a well built bluish hulk creature with a battle axe were in a battle to the **** in the campsite. OK just wanted to make sure. See you also left out the sword the women was holding. Yeah sorry about that, but she has a sword.

“Holy fuck!” one of the campers screamed. It doesn’t matter who, we probably wont see any of these background characters again after this section.

Everyone ran, scattered to the forest. The duo of green and blue skin aliens where in slash and hack mode in a fight to the ****. Tents were cut apart, camping gear was destroyed, even a tree was knocked over. Everyone ran from this, all but Alex.

Then the blue skinned thing with the battle axe managed to get the upper hand for just a second: with the flat side of the axe and a lucky blow it hit the green skinned women across the head and took her down. In triumph the blue skinned warrior let out a roar.

As the roar died down in the forest that’s when the blue skinned thing spotted Alex. It’s blood rage filled face grew as it came closer and closer to Alex. You didn’t have to be a psychic to know what it wanted: **** for Alex.

The combat axe slowly rose over it’s head. The ebony didn’t reflect light, it just absorbed it. The disturbed void of blackness that was the axe tore at the sanity of Alex’s mind. It was somehow a violation of everything that was supposed to be. And then the axe started to swing down at her…

“No!” She screamed. If there was something, anything, that Alex could use to defend herself she would. She wished there was a giant club she could use to...

WHOOSH!

The blue thing flew back and smashed into a tree. The poor tree was taken clean off its roots and was smashed into pieces that covered the big blue skinned axe wielding attempted murderer. Whatever hit the blue thing hit it hard. But what hit it? Alex started to get up and look around: nothing. The green skinned warrior was on the ground, but no one and no thing else was around. So what the hell…?

The green skinned warrior thing got up. It got up just in time to see the blue thing get up to. Oh no… she thought to herself. Then another voice came in her head: Did that earther just… possibly? The blue thing was back on it’s feet, even more enraged then before. This time though it was because a massive hunk of tree was sticking out from its chest. The piece was straight through the blue skinned axe wielder. What was probably black blood ran thick from the wound.

It started to charge back at Alex: an internal scream rang in her head as the thing charged her. But after only a few steps it began to slow, then slow some more, then it collapsed on itself: the wound was to much for the creature.

The green warrior came up to Alex and put away her sword: it just disappeared into her cloak. Now that Alex had a chance to really view the green woman she was… she had light green skin that was covered by a deep black minikini with gold trim and thigh high black boots. A large cloak covered her shoulders. This woman really had a thing for black, gold, and green combos. The cloak was a black one with, you guessed it, gold trim. “It is a kree warrior. It was looking for that,” The women reached out to touch Alex’s forehead. “But now that you have it, you are coming with me.”

“Excuse me?” Alex pulled her head back from the reach of this green women.

“I am Gamora, I need to take that gem before it falls into the wrong hands. You can either come with me or I can take your head separately. Your choice.”

“I like my head where it is.”

“Then you’re coming with me. Grab some supplies. The Kree and I destroyed our ships so we must find Tony Stark.”

“Wait… who?”