A Viewing

"You're late"

You check your phone. You are indeed late. By roughly one minute.

"I'm really sorry, the traffic was bad"

"Then maybe you should have set out ahead of time like I did?" your client tells you sternly "In fact, you should have arrived here at least five minutes before our scheduled appointment to ensure you were present to greet me. I'm not one of your mates mate meeting you down the pub, this is supposed to be a professional interaction"

She's already wasted more time bitching about you being late than the amount she was actually delayed by your very slight tardiness. It is abundantly clear why Micky chose this woman as your punishment for showing him up.

"You're absolutely right, I do apologise, Madam"

She raises her eyebrows at you but says nothing as, after fumbling awkwardly with the keys for a few moments, you at least manage to get the door open, and hold it for her to walk through.

Well, that wasn't the greatest start. Everything about this client already gives you the vibes of a snooty and entitled rich bitch. The most worrying thing is that, considering how attractive she is, this woman must have the potential to behave a lot worse than what you've seen so far for Micky to be willing to palm her off onto you rather than try and fuck her.

As you walk with her around the mansion she is viewing, you manage to get a feel for your customer, Mrs Frobisher, and piece together her most likely backstory quite quickly. You are guessing she was the trophy girlfriend, now turned wife, of someone with an awful lot of money who is happy to let her spend it. This gives her an unpleasant, contradictory combination of both a superiority complex, since she is wealthy, and an inferiority complex, since everyone must surely realise she has essentially earned her money by fucking a rich guy. The two contrasting mental states feed off each other in a way that makes her even more unbearable than if she suffered from just one of them.

Your theories are entirely conjecture and pop psychology, of course, but you bet you aren't too far off.

Although, it quickly transpires that she isn't all bad.

"I must say, you do seem far less objectionable than that idiot your company sent to walk me around a property last time. I'm relieved to have someone who seems reasonably courteous in comparison to that loud mouthed oaf."

So, whatever her faults, at least you are on the same page regarding Micky.

The property you are showing this client is utterly luxurious, easily within the four to five million pound bracket, and the kind of place you could only dream about spending a night, let alone living in. Since this is apparently a viewing for Mrs Frobisher's second home, you would think she would be deliriously happy in her every waking moment. It isn't even as if she has to work for this lifestyle! But this is comfortably one of the most miserable customers you have ever come across.

"So, this is the master bedroom and..."

"Yes, I can see what it is, thank you! I don't need your constant running commentary in the background"

"Sure, it's just that part of my job is to make you aware of some of the features..."

"Your job is to hustle me out of my money, so don't go pretending it's anything else!" she cuts you off haughtily once more "I imagine the commission you would make on the sale of a property like this would be quite considerable, no?"

Of course it is. But it would be a bit fucking weird if you just followed her around not saying anything.

"Fine, I'll leave you to view the room at your leisure"

Mrs Frobisher nods at you in smug victory, perhaps thinking she is the first person in the history of mankind to have sussed out the estate agents' secret underhand plan to make money.

She begins poking around the room like she is in forensics. At one point, probably forgetting you are even there, she bends herself over to inspect some lowly situated cupboard space, allowing the slit in her skirt to ride up her leg and reveal far more thigh than you were expecting to see on this viewing.

As you start inevitably feeling horny, a wicked thought occurs to you. When was the last time you had a good looking woman alone in a bedroom, whether it was yours or not, regardless of the reason for her being there?

The owners of this place live abroad and won't be interrupting your tour. If you want to test out your new powers with a subject who is actually in the room with you, so you can see how they are affected, now would be the perfect time to do it.

In the interests of science, you close your eyes and think of Mrs Frobisher.