another man? On this show?

Dionysos walks into the gathering of fauns and dryads celebrating the summer solstice. A few benches have been strewn about the clearing and at the western edge barrels of mead have been stored in the shadow of the trees. A young Faun runs up to him and throws himself to the ground in front of him. “Honoured Dion…”. The Faun doesn’t get to even finish the name before they are hoisted up, and an ampule of wine is pressed into their hands. “Shush”, Dionysos laughs,” You can worship tomorrow, today we celebrate.”

Dionysos jumps onto one of the benches. “Everyone. Today we celebrate the passing of time and the turning of the seasons. Let us be merry and not worry about tomorrow. Let us drink, laugh and fuck to our hearts content. Let us forget about **** and indulge in life. To you!” All over the clearing ampules and cups filled with wine appear. Dionysos himself grabs an Ampule himself and lifts it up to his Lip.

A few hours later a heavily intoxicated God is stumbling through a clearing that is now lit up by torches and the moon rather than the evening sun. In both his arms there is a Faun, the group of three swaying back and forth. In the bushes next to him two Dryads lay on top of each other, naked and moaning.

“Here, ave summor wine” he slurs at one of his companions, making their cup fill up again. “Cheers”, He clinks his own cup to theirs. He almost falls over forward, only to overcorrect and Land on his back with wine spilled all over him. “Fuck, I hic ould be more less drunk.” The god grabs his forehead, a headache like he hadn’t had since he had still been a demigod, suddenly overwhelming. “The fuck hic didu put in the mead?” He asks, staring up at the night sky. He doesn’t here the Fauns respond, instead he feels his vision getting swimmier and less sharp. Shapes and Letters start forming at the edge of his vision, eventually forming a word: Εὐφημία.

Suddenly Dionysos’s eyes are assaulted by bright light.

“Please welcome Dionysos, the god responsible for all things irresponsible”

“Please, shut up!”, he yells, “You are making my headache worse”

“Drunk again, I swear I told them to get you when sober. But never mind that, let me just” Homer snaps his fingers, “There that should clear up the worst of it. How about you introduce yourself”

The god’s headache disappears as soon as the old man snaps his finger. He stands up, some sand sticking to the wine on his back. “I am Dionysos, God of Wine and Merriment. I have had many a sexual partner and never got myself tied down.” He claims proudly.

The god looks surprisingly young, no older than 25. He has a slim, tall build with little muscle and little fat. He has blue eyes and short, brown curly hair. He is wearing short wool trousers under a short tunic. He is holding a staff topped with a pinecone.

“This will be the first time then attaching yourself to someone then. Welcome to Harem Hotel you will compete with five others to earn the affection of our master Chris. He is the man sitting in the chair. And because this has been a problem with gods, do not try to kill him or threaten him or insult him; you will regret it.”

Dionysos looks over at the small group that has been assembled in the middle of the arena and then breaks out in laughter. “You got fucking Athena to do this? I was going to be mad for interrupting my party, but I think I’m going to enjoy this.”

“Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, you degenerate, disgusting drunk pervert. Of course you’d enjoy this. I’ll get you for this, you and Aphrodite are behind all this aren’t you. You did this to annoy me or something, don’t act like you didn’t. You….”, Athena is allowed to respond again, before being cut off.

“Oooh, someone’s mad. But no, I didn’t have anything to do with this. I approve though”, He turns to Chris. “And you are the lucky master, I assume. Not too bad, though ironically you are more Athena’s type. I can work with this though”, He runs a finger across the man’s chest.

As the god makes his way to sit down, Patroklos speaks up. “Mr. Storyteller, I am impressed that you managed to get three gods to compete here...”

“Four actually, but go on.”

“Anyway, how are us mortals supposed to compete? We have the god of parties, the goddess of love and the goddess of strategy as competition. So why are we even here?”

Homer smiles. “Don’t worry, unfair competition makes for bad entertainment. We have ensured that the various gods have no unfair advantages. To you they might seem incomprehensibly powerful, but me and the higher ups have little problem comprehending and in fact controlling their powers. You will have all the chances you need. And maybe being mortal will give you unique insight into the master. That can often be more valuable than any godly powers.”

“Oh, what the hell?”, Dionysos interjects. “You’re going to summon gods and then take away all of our powers?”

“I didn’t say that. You’ll still be able to summon as much wine as you want, and I’ll give you back your resistance to ****. Just no turning people into dolphins for you or magically making people fall in love for Aphrodite.”

“Perfect in that case.” Dionysos stomps his staff on the ground, and an ampule of wine appears in his hand. “We can turn this into a proper party. Who is down for an orgy later?”

“I appreciate the enthusiasm, but we will have to do some housekeeping first, so the orgy might have to wait until tomorrow. I wouldn’t say no to a cup of wine myself though. The host can in fact be bribed.”

Just as Homer finishes speaking a cup of wine appears in his hand. The storyteller takes a sip, while watching the god settle down in between the other gods and the mortal contestant, directly opposite of the master.

Chris for his part seems to have retreated into his own thoughts completely after both the goddess of love and the god of wine flirted with him. This is bad and it was getting worse by the minute. The more gods were summoned the less likely he was to survive once whatever power kept them in check wore off. But Homer is also too powerful to make an enemy out of, and he had talked about some sort of higher ups.

The storyteller himself meanwhile seemed totally unconcerned with the consequences of his actions, instead preparing the entrance for whoever the next contestant might be.

“As teased earlier our final contestant will also be of godly nature, though she is not one of the Olympians, please welcome, the wife of Hades, last, but certainly not least, it’s…