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Chapter 39 by lightsout

What will Jon do there?

Ask her about the Scars first

The wheelhouse cut the wind to a dull moan.

A single lantern swung from the axle, throwing a sick orange circle across the snow and across the half of Sandor’s face that had never been a face at all.

She stood with her back to the gilded wall, arms folded tight under the white cloak, chin high like she was daring the night to say something about it.

Jon threw back his hood, the cold bit instantly.

But a single stride closed the distance him and Sandra . Lantern-light spilled across them as bare fingers pressed straight to the scar’s edge (living skin giving way to melted ruin).

A hard shudder tore through Sandra.

When Jon’s thumb traced the ridged knot where her ear should have been, her breath snagged like a blade catching bone.

“What do these scars mean to you now, my lady?” Jon asked, his voice a low rasp beneath the howl of the wind whitch seemed ot have picked up.

At first though unable to movve, Sandra opted to look at the ground between their boots The nher voice came clow, cracked and almost ashamed.

“I still see Jocelyn,” she muttered. “Golden curls, soft mouth, not a mark on her. Men look at her and go all gentle, like she’s made of glass. They look at me and remember what happens when glass gets too close to fire.”

She swallowed, the ruined side of her throat working hard.

“I hate that I notice. Hate that it still cuts. That little girl’s the closest thing to a daughter I’ll ever have, and I love her so much it makes me sick. And every time I see her perfect face I remember I’ll never be what she deserves to look up to.”

A rough breath, almost a laugh.

“That’s what the scars mean, Jon. They mean I’m the monster who guards the princess.”

Jon waited. Let the silence sit heavy between them while the wind howled through the broken battlements above. His fingers moved again (slow, deliberate) over the place where a smile should have curved evenly, over the shiny pull that twisted the corner of her mouth forever downward. He could feel her pulse hammering against his palm, frantic as a trapped bird.

“That’s one reason,” he said. “What’s the other?”

“Because every time I look in a glass,” Sandra rasped, “I see my brother’s handiwork. Gregor held my face to the brazier when I was six because I touched his bloody toy knight. He laughed while I screamed. He laughed while the skin bubbled. And he still walks the world breathing, wearing that same smirk, while I wear what he left me.”

Her good eye fixed on Jon, fierce and wet.

“Because every morning I wake up and Gregor Clegane is still alive,” she said, voice raw as torn metal. “Every morning I draw breath while that monster walks free, still wearing that same fucking smirk he had when he held my face to the coals for touching his toy knight. These scars mean he marked me for life and I haven’t marked him back. Yet.” She spat the last word like a vow.

“That’s the other reason, Jon. They’re his brand on me, and every day he keeps breathing is another day I’ve let him win.”

A single sentence rested on Jon’s tongue, ready to spill out and remake her: smooth skin, a delicate ear, a smile that finally matched the fierce beauty of the woman that he made.

Another sentence hovered behind it, offering only faint silver lines (proof the Mountain had tried and failed).

Or he could stay silent and leave her exactly as Gregor had forged her. Perhaps somehow make the scars highlight her beauty further.

The power sat hot beneath his ribs, waiting for the word.

What is Jon's decision.

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