And I'm always pretty happy when I'm just kicking back with you

“A unicorn?!” Cinder looked like she was going to be sick to her stomach. “What the fuck!? A fucking unicorn? Why would you pick that?!”

“What’s wrong with it?” Nola asked, blinking innocently. “Unicorns are cute and adorable! You just adored those cute little animals in the Petting Zoo, didn’t you?”

Unable to come up with a response to that, Cinder ground her teeth together and swung her head around to look at the unicorn quietly grazing in the enclosure. Unlike the lion pit, there were no obstructions in the way; just a pink silk rope sectioning off the field of flowers the mythical creature made its home in, like the kind used on runways. The elegant beast could leap over it in a single bound, if it were so inclined.

And in spite of Cinder’s statements, Nick could tell that it was a truly elegant creature. With how Dakota had set up the glade in front of them, with a small cluster of trees perfectly arranged in a half-circle behind the clearing, rays of sunlight streamed through their parted branches to bathe the unicorn in an ethereal light. Its white coat seemed to sparkle like faerie dust and its mane glistened with countless colors as it raised its head, proudly displaying its spiraled horn.

It looked like something that had stepped right out of a picture book- which it had. Nick even knew which book; Dakota had always adored fantastical creatures like faeries and unicorns when they were kids.

Cinder, it seemed, did not.

“Fucking unicorns,” she muttered, grinding her teeth together some more. “All cute and sparkly and shit. Couldn’t you take us to something cool, like a tiger pit!? Ella’s the one who likes shit like this, it’s totally wasted on me!”

“Oh poo!” Nola placed her hands on her hips and puffed up her cheeks. “Here I thought I was being nice, letting you two get a peek at something no one has ever seen before. That’s a unicorn, you know! A real, live unicorn! …Well, not exactly real. And only alive in the technical sense. …But still, it’s a unicorn! Do you know how many people would kill to see a unicorn!? …A lot, probably! Yes, mainly little girls, but little girls can be really vicious!”

The situation was kind of getting away from Nola just a little bit. Nick almost felt sorry for the frustrated girl. Almost.

He felt sorrier for Cinder, though. Whatever grudge she had against unicorns, it clearly wasn’t healthy for her. Nola wasn’t wrong when she’d pointed out that Cinder had enjoyed the Petting Zoo. So apparently, cooing over adorable baby animals was perfectly fine in Cinder’s books, but she drew the line at mythical creatures like unicorns.

For reasons that completely escaped him.

“Maybe you should give it a chance,” Nick suggested gently, not wanting to turn Cinder’s ire towards him, but also pained by how she seemed to be giving up on progress. “I know that unicorns are ‘girly’ but there’s nothing wrong with liking girly stuff. Plus, uh…”

Cinder was giving him a stare that said “Are you kidding me right now?” while sucking on the inside of her cheek and crossing her arms over her chest. He wasn’t doing the best job at convincing her, unfortunately.

“…Well, what about the horn? It’s pretty sharp, right? They can, uh, definitely do some serious damage with that thing, I bet. Isn’t that cool?” He said lamely, glancing at the unicorn. The beast had turned its head towards him now as well, giving him a look that seemed to suggest that even it knew how lame Nick sounded right now.

Nick’s face heated up. He was just trying to make the mythical animal seem more appealing to Cinder’s tastes! But apparently… he didn’t know what those were. I’m supposed to be trying to get to know her better, but my default is that she thinks **** = good. What a fucking mess, I can’t believe I screwed up that badly.

While Nick was busy kicking himself, Cinder let out a sigh and played with a fringe of her hair.

“So they stab people? You think I care about that?” She grumbled. “That’s not a good thing, you fucking moron. I don’t want to get stabbed!”

Right. Cinder existed to keep Ella safe. “Maybe unicorns stab people!” might seem like a problem from her perspective, even though they knew it wouldn’t actually do anything.

Nick was floundering right now. Everything was coming apart, and it was written all over his face. And Nola was no help at all; she still looked upset over Cinder’s earlier comment.

Cinder stared at Nick, sulking internally, and then finally sighed. “Fine! Fucking fine. It’s not the worst thing in the world, I guess,” she muttered, taking pity on him. He really was trying, and it wasn’t his fault that Nola had picked such a stupid animal to show them.

Getting angry and taking it out on Nick wasn’t going to make things better. Cinder was trying to make this date a success, not a failure.

So… she’d give the unicorn a chance.

Annoyed and impatient, Cinder turned her eyes towards the glade once more, taking in the sight of the majestic creature. A sparkling pond of water seemed to have magically appeared before it (probably Dakota) and it was currently sipping from the spring.

As if it could sense Cinder staring at it the unicorn raised its head and turned to look at her, its eyes glowing a myriad of colors.

Cinder found herself leaning forward without realizing it. Her eyes widened as she felt the creature’s gaze with all her heart.

Okay, well, it was still stupid and girly, but maybe it wasn’t so bad.

“You wanna touch it?” Nola asked from right behind Cinder, making her jump in shock.

“Aagh!” Startled, Cinder whirled around and punched Nola in the face. Or she tried to, anyway. Nola was able to duck aside in time, and she held her hand over her mouth and giggled.

“Sorry, sorry, shouldn’t have scared you like that,” Nola tittered.

“You didn’t scare me!” Cinder snarled at her. “I was just… surprised!”

“Right, well, sorry anyway,” Nola said, rolling her eyes at the distinction without a difference. She cleared her throat. “Anyway, feel free to go and pet her if you like! …I think it’s a her, anyway. Maybe a him. Does it matter? Anyway, the reason why we have such low security on this particular enclosure is because unicorns are very, very well behaved, actually!” She informed them both. “You know, because they’re all wise and enchanted and stuff. They would never go running around causing havoc or anything!”

“Aren’t all the animals here created by Dakota, though?” Nick pointed out. “Couldn’t she just make it so that none of them would leave their designated areas in the first place, and thus remove the need for fences and cages altogether?”

Nola rolled her eyes. “Right, because that’s realistic.”

Nick glared at her.

“Why would I want to touch a stupid unicorn?!” Cinder grumbled, crossing her arms over her chest. “It’s just… a unicorn!”

Nola gave her a “No duh!” kind of look that only made the irritated woman grind her teeth together again.

“Unicorns are very sweet and cute!” The leprechaun pointed out. “You were talking about how people didn’t want to be around you? Well, a unicorn will! Trust me.”

Right, like Cinder cared about what some dumb horse with a horn sticking out of its head thought about her. How stupid did Nola think she was?

Cinder didn’t care about that in the slightest, and she was going to show Nola just how much she didn’t care by going to pet the unicorn.

“Whatever,” she grumbled, swinging her leg over the silk rope and walking towards the unicorn. The beast kept staring at her as their eyes met again, and before she realized it she was right in front of the gorgeous creature.

It was a strange feeling. When Cinder thought about unicorns (which was never, to be clear) she imagined that they would be about her size. (Again, not that she thought about them!) But this one, well, it was the size of a horse.

Way bigger than she’d expected. And that horn did look pretty sharp; Nick was right, that thing could do some damage.

It wouldn’t though, right? Because it was under Dakota’s control. Just like with the lions.

Cinder swallowed her pride, and reached out towards the animal’s elegant mane. “Don’t fucking stab me,” she muttered under her breath. “Or I’ll turn you into fucking sparkly glue.”

“Neehah…” the unicorn whinnied, blowing a hot burst of breath from her nostrils and flapping up her tail. It danced like a ribbon through the air, leaving a trail of sparkles in its wake.

Cinder rolled her eyes. The thing probably farted rainbows or whatever. Totally lame.

Her fingers brushed against the unicorn’s mane, and she gasped. Her first instinct was to yank her hand back, but her body wouldn’t let her; the hair beneath her fingers was so soft and alluring that she couldn’t help but feel it again and again, running her hands along it. She’d never experienced something this soft before.

“Nrrae…” Cinder pulled back as the unicorn murmured loudly, drawing her attention. She rubbed her nose against the startled girl’s shoulder and Cinder stiffened like a board.

From the sidelines, Nola held her hand over her mouth to suppress her amused giggle. “Aww, isn’t that sweet? I just knew it would work.”

“What do you mean?” Nick asked her, confused. He was stunned that Cinder actually seemed to be getting along with the unicorn; and very, very happy.

“You don’t know the legend of unicorns?” Nola turned to Nick, surprised.

He shrugged. “Sure I do. I mean, they’re gentle, magical creatures who have an affinity for princesses, right? …Wait, is this because of Cinder and Ella’s Faerie Tale transformation path? Is that why they’re getting along?” He knew that Dakota had been trying to foist the idea of Cinder and Ella as princesses onto them, and wondered if this was a part of that.

Nola giggled and shook her head. “No no no… well, maybe a little?” She shrugged her shoulders lightly. “While it’s nice to see the princess getting along with her unicorn, the fact is that unicorns have a fondness for lovely maidens like that sweet and spicy girl over there! They serve as valiant protectors to a woman’s chastity.”

Maybe it wasn’t the best place to take a couple on a date, especially since the goal of Harem Hotel was to get everybody fucking. But Nola thought it was cute.

Nick was just glad Cinder seemed to be reciprocating the animal’s affection. She was actually smiling! Though she looked so entranced Nick wasn’t sure if she even realized it herself.

He didn’t want to spoil the moment, but he still climbed into the enclosure to go join her. After all, with Cinder looking so content and relaxed, this would be a good opportunity for the two of them to bond together, right?

That was the theory, anyway.

“NeyAAAH!”

The next thing Nick knew, he was being charged. A flash of sparkling white blurred his vision and he saw the sharp glint of a pointed horn aimed right at his throat.

“What the fuck!?” A scream burst out of his mouth as he staggered back, caught completely by surprise as the unicorn bore down on him, ready to rip him to pieces with that sharp horn on its head.

Fortunately, this was Harem Hotel; if anyone was safe from a unicorn goring, it was Nick.

So the beast settled for swinging its large head and smacking him in the face, sending him rolling back to the edge of the glade.

Cinder’s jaw dropped in shock as the unicorn lowered her head again and scuffed her hoof on the grass, blowing steam from her nostrils. Nola clasped her hand over her mouth in amusement as Nick raised his head, dazed and confused.

“What… huh!?” He stammered out, staggering to his feet.

“Oh yeah, I probably shoulda mentioned…” Nola winced, while grinning at the same time somehow. “See, most people think of unicorns as these sweet and harmless creatures, but you’re totally right, those horns are deadly. See, unicorns like pure maidens, but they really, really don’t like anyone who isn’t that. Especially men. So if you’re not a maiden, they’re just gonna go stabby-stab and run you through like a lance.”

“A little warning next time, then!?” Nick sputtered, glaring at the leprechaun while making sure to keep watch over the unicorn out of the corner of his eye.

Nola shrugged. “I was gonna explain but you know what they say, there’s no better teacher than experience or whatever.”

“…Bwahahaha!”

Nick’s anger was tempered by the sudden outburst of laughter coming from Cinder’s direction. He turned his head in shock to see her wrapping her arms over her stomach as she doubled over in hysterics.

“…That… that was awesome!” She cackled, wiping the tears from her eyes. “You went flying! Way to go, unicorn!”

She strolled over and gave the unicorn another petting to signal her approval. She was really getting attached to the majestic creature now.

“Don’t… don’t reward her for that!” Nick protested. He knew he should be happy that Cinder was enjoying herself, but it was at his expense!

“Why not? She’s just doing what she’s supposed to do, and keeping me safe,” Cinder pointed out, giving the animal a fond look. Maybe she had more in common with this majestic creature than she thought. “You’re right, Nick, I was too quick to judge. Nola, you made a good choice with this one.”

She ran her fingers through the unicorn’s mane again, and her smile turned into a pensive almost-frown. Her eyes narrowed slightly and a faint sigh escaped her lips.

If only Ella were here… she loves unicorns. I’ve had so much fun today, but… this is Ella’s date. Hasn’t this been enough, Ella? Don’t you want to see a unicorn for real yourself? No matter how much fun Cinder was having, this wasn’t her date, not really. Ella… Ella should be here to enjoy it, too.

Cinder turned towards Nick again, enjoying the frustrated expression on his face. He wasn’t angry with her, not really. He was sweet like that. Even though Cinder hated sweet. But could she really be upset that he was so precious towards her?

Shouldn’t she be happy about that?

With how fun today was… Cinder had never expected a date like this. She’d thought it would be full of conflict and strife, like everything else she did. But right now…

“…Ah!?” Ella’s eyes popped open and she looked around, dazed and confused. The last thing she remembered was thinking about Cinder while petting a lion, and now she was…

“…A UNICORN!?” Ella’s eyes bulged out of her skull and she stumbled back, landing on her butt. She moved to brush the skirt of her long dress out of the way so she could stand, only to find that she was wearing completely different clothes. This was the denim miniskirt and black shirt she’d picked out for Cinder; why was she wearing it?!

What had happened to her?!

“Ella?” That was the only explanation Nick had for the sudden and massive shift in demeanor of the girl in front of him. “Ella, is that you?”

He moved to get closer to her, only to be halted by the sharp look of the unicorn as it stepped between them again, shooting him a warning look.

“Nick, I… what’s going on?” Ella stumbled to her feet, looking a little dazed. “The last thing I remember was going into the lion pit with you, and then… …Wait, did Cinder take over!?”

Nick blinked. “You… you don’t remember?” He asked, surprised to hear that. “Yeah, she… Cinder’s been going on the date with me. Wasn’t that your idea?”

“They’ve been having a great time, too,” Nola chirped.

Ella rubbed her forehead, feeling kind of dazed. “No, that… I mean… I suppose, but…” she raised her head and looked questioningly at Nick. “You and Cinder were… I see…”

She didn’t know how she should feel about that. But maybe she was glad?

Maybe.

“…Why is there a unicorn though!?” Ella turned and looked at the unicorn with wide eyes, her attention captured by the elegant creature. All thoughts of Cinder fled from her brain as her amber eyes sparkled even brighter than the unicorn’s coat.

“Yeah, um, apparently Nola wanted to come take us to see a unicorn,” Nick explained. “…But what she didn’t mention was that unicorns attack anyone who comes close to them who isn’t a ‘pure maiden’ or whatever.”

“Correct, I did not mention that,” Nola confirmed with a nod.

Ella kept staring at the unicorn as Nick’s words sank in. “…Heh. Heh… …Hehehehe…”

She shouldn’t be laughing, that was an awful thing to laugh at! But she couldn’t help picture Nick being bowled over by a unicorn! She hadn’t seen it for herself, but the picture her mind painted for her was so vivid, it was like she was there!

“Come on, even you’re laughing at me?” Nick groaned. “Cinder’s one thing, but come on, Ella!”

“I can’t help it!” Ella protested, giggling again in spite of herself. “It’s funny, okay? Really funny! You… you were knocked over by a unicorn! Hehehe…”

Nick knew he should just be glad Ella was enjoying herself instead of freaking out about Cinder being in control of her body for a huge portion of their date. But he was still a little miffed.

“I’m glad you’re having fun with the unicorn, Ella,” he said sincerely. “But can we keep it far away from me, please?”

Ella frowned. “What? But I just got here!” She wrapped her arms around the unicorn’s neck. “Can’t we stay for a bit longer? Please? I didn’t even get to see her knock you over myself!”

“You want to do that again!?” Nick’s jaw dropped in disbelief.

Ella winced. “Well…” She really shouldn’t. But she couldn’t help herself.

“You did promise Cinder that anything you did with her, you would do for Ella,” Nola unhelpfully reminded him.

“I meant stuff like holding hands!” Nick protested. “Not… getting trampled by a unicorn!”

“Oh, don’t be a baby. It didn’t even hurt!” Nola huffed.

“That… that isn’t the point!”

Ella frowned. “So… you won’t, then?”

She gave Nick a mournful look that made his heart ache. How was he supposed to say no to that? It just wasn’t fair!

“Ella…”

“Please, Nick?” She begged him. Why she was pushing this so hard, Nick had no idea. But honestly, it wasn’t like he’d gotten hurt or anything, it was only mildly uncomfortable. The biggest issue had been the surprise.

If Ella wanted it… he might as well, right?

So even though he knew this was going to suck, he stepped closer, and the unicorn responded how he knew she would.

This time at least he was able to brace himself as the large animal knocked him into the flowerbed for a second time.

Ella clasped her hands over her mouth, knowing she shouldn’t laugh but finding it hard not to. It was just so funny seeing Nick get flung into a field of flowers! He looked so cute, looking all dazed and confused like that!

…Did that make her a bad person?