Natalie process her feelings of him watching her

Natalie inhaled slowly through her nose, shifting her weight to center herself. Her heart had skipped a beat the moment their eyes met, and now she struggled to pull it back into a slow rhythm.

She hadn’t meant to hold the pose that long or even make eye contact again, but something about the way he’d stood there with his eyes wide and frozen, breath probably caught in his chest, kept running through her head.

She was supposed to take care of Lisa’s little boy. That’s what Lisa had said when she left. A casual joke at the time, but now it felt like a line she wasn’t supposed to cross. It never even would’ve been a thought before, but now…

No, she was the adult here. The stable one. The woman with a career and bills and enough baggage to fill the hall closet. Not someone a twenty-year-old should be watching like that.

Except, he had watched. And it hadn’t been leering or crude. It had been focused and looked like he was in awe, more than anything else. Like he was mesmerized by what he was seeing.

He was young though. Guys his age were supposed to be ruled by hormones, weren’t they? Driven by instinct and barely learning to manage it. It wasn’t really his fault his body probably reacted before his brain caught up. That was normal. Just biology. Right?

And even if it hadn’t been… was it so wrong to feel flattered? To be looked at like that? By someone his age and good looking? And not because she was trying to be sexy, but because she simply existed?

The heat in her cheeks had nothing to do with the sun. It had everything to do with knowing she’d affected him. That he’d stared. That without trying, her body had held him in place like a spell.

And the fact that she could have that effect on him, a man a dozen years younger, barely out of his teens, was rooted in place by the sight of her, fed something deep in her chest. Something hungry, that she’d just barely started to feed.

It wasn’t about wanting him, per se. It was about the part of her that had woken up after the divorce, and the part she was still getting to know. The one that didn’t always follow logic when it craved something more. It leaned into moments like this because it hadn’t found its own limits yet.

Moments like this stirred that part of her and tugged at it. The truth was, she wasn’t sure where her boundaries lay. She felt like she hadn’t even seen the edge of them yet.

Natalie lingered on the balcony a little longer than she normally would have after her routine. Her body was warm, looser now from the yoga, but also from something still simmering from the way Aiden had looked at her.

She wiped down her mat. It was part of the routine, but today it also provided the moment for herself to try and recenter herself. Eventually she stepped back inside, sliding the patio door closed.

The apartment was mostly quiet. The bathroom door was closed, muting the soft rush of water from the shower that was just barely audible. She didn’t hear the fan. He always forgot the fan, leaving the small space, humid and hot.

In the kitchen, she moved more slowly than usual. Tossed a banana, a spoonful of almond butter, and oat milk with some ice into the blender. The noise filled the silence, drowning out her thoughts. She poured the smoothie into a tall glass and leaned against the counter, sipping slowly. The floor was cool beneath her bare feet.

She glanced toward the hall and the closed bathroom door. His shower seemed to be taking longer than usual.

She frowned lightly, then blinked. No, not frowned, but furrowed her brow in concentration of her thoughts. Still, her brain offered up a scenario before she could shut it down: he’d been watching her. Maybe still thinking about it. Maybe taking advantage of the one place in the apartment where a twenty-year-old could pretend to be subtle about getting off in the morning with some privacy. Thinking he was being slick about using his shower as a cover.

As if she hadn’t been the one to pick that shower head herself. And for a reason. Natalie shook her head and took another sip, but the heat that persisted in her chest wasn’t being cooled by her drink.

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