Getting back with your exes

As a man whose girlfriends quickly find themselves in embarrassing and compromising situations, your dating pool has quickly become limited. That doesn't stop you, however, from trying to get back with your exes.

"Hey," you send each of them (you still have all of their numbers) a text after up to years of silence.

"It's John again," you continue before they can respond,

"I was thinking we could maybe chat and talk about what we've been up to lately," you continue in yet a third pathetic text message, hoping for a response.