Grow beyond amongst the few

Breakfast ended with a morose tone in the air. Dakota departed, having fulfilled what she set out to do, but the effect of her presence still lingered.

Carly bit her lip, finding that she’d lost her appetite as a result of what had just happened.

“Don’t listen to her, Carly,” Rose sniffed, turning up her nose. “You heard Emmy. She doesn’t want to model those clothes anyway, so it’s a moot point!”

“Rose, that’s not the issue at all,” Marley said quietly, giving the blonde a look. She glanced at her sister, and bit her lip. Carly shouldn’t have to be feeling this way. It wasn’t fair!

“Why not?” Rose didn’t understand. “If Emmy doesn’t want to do it, then isn’t that, just, the end of the discussion?” Maybe she was thinking of things in too simple of terms, but in Rose’s eyes, there was no need for all this gloominess from Carly.

“Mom, it’s really okay,” Emmy said gently. “I understand how you feel, and I feel the same way. I don’t want to do stuff like that. Dressing up in those clothes, showing myself off to… who even knows? I’m happy you stood up for me like that.”

The corners of Carly’s lips turned up in a smile and she glanced at Emmy. It was clear she was really trying, and she was grateful to her daughter for expressing her feelings like that, but…

“Emmy… what Dakota said, it wasn’t wrong,” Carly said quietly, biting her lip. “I didn’t want you to be photographed in those clothes. I knew it would turn into some big, perverse thing, and I didn’t want you to go through that.”

“Right, me neither!” Emmy said. “So… why is that bad?”

“Because… I’m being a hypocrite.” Carly didn’t even see it until Dakota had pointed it out to her. All her life, she’d lived pretty fast and loose, doing what she wanted when she wanted and not paying much mind to the consequences. That was why she’d ended up a single mother in the first place, one instance of reckless sex without protection too many and not thinking about the consequences.

And now, here she was, trying to be a mom? Trying to say that she didn’t want Emmy to live the same life she’d had absolutely no qualms with living up until now?

What kind of self-righteous hypocrite was she to tell her daughter that?

“…Look, um…” Morgana swallowed, her heart pounding in her chest. She couldn’t believe she was actually getting involved, but she couldn’t help herself. She glanced timidly at Carly and bit her lip. When the other woman looked at her, she nearly changed her mind about saying anything altogether.

But Morgana was trying to change herself. She was confident now, right? She could speak her mind, even on a serious topic like this.

“Carly, I don’t think it’s wrong to feel that way… maybe?” Morgana said, her voice trembling a lot more than she wanted.

Marley frowned.

“Maybe?” Carly looked a little disheartened. Morgana wasn’t really doing great here with the emotional support.

Seeing the disappointment on Carly’s face made Morgana’s eyes widen. “W-well, I mean… look, um… it’s just… how mothers are, I guess? My mom, she, um… she really didn’t support me at all… she wanted me to be all sweet and perfect, like my cousin Karen… who always gets perfect grades, gets asked out by boys, has a bunch of friends, um… b-but that just wasn’t like me at all, I didn’t want to be like her! And my mom, she… she didn’t understand…”

Well… mostly. Morgana had wanted to have friends. And for boys to like her. And if she could have gotten better grades that would have been…

“Look, um, my point is… my mom had this vision of what she wanted me to be! And I didn’t fit it, like, at all, and I know she must have been disappointed in me… so maybe, um, that’s just, how moms are? Maybe…?”

If Morgana thought that describing her relationship with her mother that way would help Carly feel better, she was completely wrong.

Carly sank into her seat and looked down.

Morgana winced, seeing she’d just made things worse. “S-sorry… that wasn’t really helpful at all, was it…?”

Dani scowled. Part of her wanted to go over and knock that witch hat right off Morgana’s head, but she didn’t. Morgana was just trying to help, even if she sucked at it. The tomboy sighed, wishing there was something she could do.

“Oh!” Morgana knew she should keep her mouth shut and stop digging herself deeper into the hole, but she couldn’t. She felt **** to fix the problem she’d just made! “Um, but that doesn’t mean she didn’t still love me! I-I think…”

Rose raised her eyebrow. “…You think?”

Morgana sank down into her seat. “No, um… I-I know she did…” she mumbled. “Even though I wasn’t the perfect daughter… she still loved me a lot…”

“I don’t think anyone’s questioning the fact that Carly loves her daughter, hon,” Vivian said gently, shaking her head and giving Morgana a sympathetic look.

“Thanks, Morgana, I get what you’re trying to say.” Carly gave the goth girl a smile, but it didn’t reach her eyes. “But the issue is… I don’t even know. It just feels like maybe I’m not cut out for this whole mom thing, you know?”

“What?!” Emmy’s eyes widened in shock.

Carly gasped. “I- That’s not how I meant it!” She said, shaking her head. “I just mean… this is a really complicated situation, Emmy, that’s all! Most mothers, they… they don’t start out with their daughters as fully-grown adults with their own agency, you know? I still have to get used to it. I mean, you’re… you’re old enough where you’d be going to college!” She pointed out. “By now, any decent mother would have had plenty of time to come to terms with the fact that their daughters are their own person and can make their own choices. I know mine did…”

“Well, that’s the crux of the issue, isn’t it?” Sylvia said quietly. “You have to accept that Emmy is her own person now, who will make her own decisions. And even if you don’t agree with those decisions, you still have to accept that it’s what she wants.”

Sylvia’s eyes flickered over to Marley for a second before looking back at Carly. “What if Emmy was dating someone you didn’t agree with, for example? What would you do?”

Carly blinked. “What do you mean?”

“I don’t like this line of thinking,” Emmy said quickly. “I’m not dating anybody.”

Frankly, dating was so far down her list of priorities right now that she didn’t know if she could count that high. Again, she only knew one boy. Hell- she had such a limited experience with romance that she didn’t even know if she liked boys to start with!

She may very well have been the only 18-year-old in all of creation who had given exactly zero thought to sex and relationships, a fact that left her feeling rather strange.

Sylvia let out a tired sigh. “Look… I’m the only other mother here,” she said bluntly, looking at Marley again. “And I know that Marley is going to make decisions that I don’t always agree with. But even if I don’t agree with them, I still support her, because she’s my daughter,” she said, smiling a sweet, somber smile that made her little girl blush. “Even if you think, as their mother, you do know better, you’ve still got to let them make their own choices.”

“Mom…” Marley was touched by Sylvia’s words.

“Now, that doesn’t mean you can’t try and convince them,” Sylvia quickly added. “Say, for example, if your daughter wanted to eat a flower that would reduce her breasts back to their normal size, it’s still totally okay for you to try and explain to her why she’s making the wrong choice-”

“Okay, mom, we get it,” Marley said, feeling the tenderness of the moment dry up like a puddle in the desert.

“…Look.” Sylvia turned Carly’s face to meet hers. “It’s not being controlling to want what’s best for your child. Believe me… I know that better than anyone.” A shadow crossed over her face. Sylvia knew exactly what it was like to be a puppet of a parent’s wishes, viewed as not deserving of her own agency. If she thought Carly was even close to that, she would say something.

But so far, Carly’s attitude towards this twisted situation and how she’d treated Emmy were absolutely admirable, and Sylvia had no qualms admitting that.

Carly felt a little better hearing those words from the other woman’s lips. But she still had a thorn of doubt in her chest, because…

“Can I say something?”

Everyone turned to look at the most unlikely person at the table to lend her position on the conversation. …No, not Ella, the other one.

“Vivian?” Rose raised her eyebrow.

“You guys are getting this completely wrong,” Vivian said, shaking her head. “Carly isn’t feeling upset because she thinks she’s becoming some hyper-controlling mom who won’t let her daughter have any fun.”

She looked at Carly with an expression filled with sincerity; a look Carly never would have expected from her.

“…What’s got Carly down is that she thinks she’s a hypocrite,” Vivian reminded them. “Whether she lets Emmy do what she wants or not, that ain’t really the point, idn’t it?”

“It’s not?” Morgana asked timidly.

“What do you mean?” Rose asked, raising her eyebrow.

“I’m kinda lost, too,” Sylvia admitted.

Vivian glanced at the former host.

“Sylv, can I ask you something?” She questioned.

“Didn’t you just now?” Sylvia giggled a little but then turned serious. “…What?”

“Look, I don’t fully get the whole relationship between you and Marley… you’re parent and child, yeah, and Marley’s also Carly’s sister, right?” She’d gotten a basic rundown when she first came on the show, but was still confusing.

Emmy had never agreed with anything more. She nodded.

Sylvia bobbed her head up and down.

“Yes.”

“…Right, so… throwin’ your own question back atcha, what if Marley started datin’ someone you didn’t agree with?” Vivian asked raising her eyebrow.

Marley blinked, surprised.

“Well, she wouldn’t,” Sylvia said bluntly. “She’s in love with Daddy, of course! And Daddy’s so amazing!” She swooned and her eyelashes fluttered.

Vivian **** a tight smile, not thrilled with the direction of this conversation, but she persisted. “Right… but what if she wasn’t? She’s not in Nick’s harem, after all, when the show’s over and we all head back to earth, she could, in theory, date some other bloke, yeah?”

Sylvia stared at Vivian like the heiress was from mars. “Well… yeah, but why would she do that when Daddy’s so perfect for her?”

Marley stared down at her plate, her face burning red. This really wasn’t something she wanted to have broadcast to everyone. But she understood what Vivian was getting at.

Vivian sighed. Sylvia, on the other hand, wasn’t getting it at all. “Again, just… it’s a hypothetical,” she said as delicately as she could. “IF Marley didn’t want to date Nick… let’s say because he was in a relationship with her mother, who also calls him ‘Daddy’, and that understandably weirds her out, would you be okay with that?”

Marley shook, completely agreeing with Vivian’s logic, except that she still liked Nick in spite of the weirdness.

Sylvia, in contrast, looked shocked. Her eyes widened as if it was only occurring to her for the first time that Marley could fall in love with someone else.

In fairness, that wasn’t exactly something Marley had given a lot of thought towards herself.

“Would you be okay with that?” Vivian asked again, her voice turning more forceful.

“Hey, Vivian, I think that’s enough,” Dani said gently, stunned that she was coming to Sylvia’s defense for once.

“I… yeah, I would be,” Sylvia said, nodding. It looked like that had taken a lot out of her to admit.

Vivian nodded in turn. “Right, but you had to think about it, yeah? Even?”

Sylvia shifted uncomfortably in her seat. “So what?”

“So… are there any decisions Marley could make that you wouldn’t be okay with? No… hmm. A better question, Sylvia, is there anything you wouldn’t do?” She asked instead.

All heads turned to the former host. Even Ella looked up from her eighth plate of eggs, curious.

It was a question no one had ever thought to ask Sylvia, and apparently it hadn’t even occurred to Sylvia herself. She scrunched her face up in confusion.

“What, you mean butt stuff?” She asked. “I’m fine with that.”

Vivian **** back a smile and pinched the bridge of her nose.

“Well, I tried,” she said, shaking her head. “Sorry, Carly.”

“No, it’s okay,” Carly said quietly. She understood what Vivian was trying to say. Like Carly, like Vivian herself, Sylvia was a woman with very few hard lines in the sand. She just tended to accept everything as it came. Both women were the same. But because Vivian and Carly had both been raised in everyday society like the other girls, and Sylvia had not, Vivian’s point was unfortunately lost on the former host. That was an issue that would need to be resolved on a different day.

“Carly and I are both free spirits, that’s what I feel,” Vivian said, leaning back in her chair. “Me personally, I’ve never given much thought to having kids myself, so I’ve never had to think about something like this before. ‘How would I feel about my child doing this?’ It’s just never come up,” she admitted with a shrug. “But I can say I would feel like a hypocrite, if I told my little girl she couldn’t ride on horses until she was older.”

Vivian’s heart ached. She really wanted to see her mom right now.

Emmy was quiet. She wished this whole stupid thing had never happened. Her mom looked so sad…

Not knowing what to say, she stood up from her seat and walked over to Carly, and hugged her mother from behind.

Carly jumped in surprise. “E-Emmy?” She gasped.

“I don’t mind, mom,” Emmy said quietly. “It’s okay. I love you anyway, ‘kay?”

Rose felt like she was going to tear up. “It’s so sweet,” she murmured.

Dani nodded in agreement.

“If you ask me, I think we’re all a bit hypocritical,” Dani said finally. “We all have things that we’re okay with when it comes to ourselves, but not when it comes to other people.” Last night stuck out as a clear example. She had no qualms getting hot and heavy with Kim, even though Kim had been quite clear about her heterosexuality, when Dani herself had no intention of going nearly that far with Nick or any other boy.

Did that make Dani a hypocrite? Kim had certainly consented, she never would have done those things without her consent. But if Dani could sleep with a woman who wasn’t attracted to women, but refused to sleep with a man due to not being attracted to man, there was a double-standard she was demonstrating that she wasn’t sure how to rectify.

“So is that really it?” Carly asked glumly. “It’s okay for me to be a hypocrite? To want Emmy to stay pure and innocent, when I’m totally fine with parading around on the internet for money?”

While everyone’s kind thoughts and sweet words were a comfort to her, she still couldn’t help feeling awful about the hypocrisy of it all. Dakota wasn’t wrong in the end. This really was something that parenthood had brought out in her.

“Maybe it’s just important that you’re thinking about it,” Morgana said quietly. “My mom never did, anyway…”

“Put yourself in mom’s shoes, maybe,” Marley suggested. Her eyes flickered over to Sylvia. “Err… our mom, not, well… Sylvia.” She winced. “…Sorry.”

Sylvia waved her hand. “No, it’s fine,” she assured the other girl, shaking her head. “Really.”

Carly winced. That was something she’d been trying not to do.

“Mom never really had an issue with it,” Marley pointed out. “The whole cosplay thing. To be fair though, she kinda figured out that keeping you away from boys was a lost cause when she caught you with Randy Michaelson in ninth grade-”

“Yes, please, stop, that’s enough,” Carly cut her sister off out of mortification. If she never had to think about her mom walking into her bedroom with a laundry basket full of her bras again, it would be too soon.

“…Well, anyway, mom had a long time to get used to you doing stuff like that,” Marley said gently. “Like you said… you’re new to this. You’ll get there, sis. You and Emmy… you’ll figure out what works for you both. Maybe after enough time, you’ll be okay with her cosplaying and doing stuff like that, who knows?”

“Marley’s right,” Vivian nodded. “And there’s nothing wrong with wanting your kids to make better choices than you, right?”

“True,” Carly acknowledged with a small nod. “Though… it’s not like I really regret my life up until this point or anything…”

Maybe if Carly thought that her cosplay career was a mistake, she could feel better about not wanting her daughter to do stuff like that. But reality was seldom so simple. Fact of the matter, to some extent, Carly WAS being a hypocrite.

But Dani was right. Sometimes, being a hypocrite was normal. She didn’t have to like it, but she didn’t have to pretend it was some awful thing, either.

“Sorry, Emmy,” she said, turning in her seat so she could face her daughter directly. “I’m a bit of a hypocrite when it comes to you. Is that okay?”

Emmy stared incredulously at her mother.

“Mom… you’re one of like ten women in some random guy’s harem, you have to compete in sex competitions with them every two weeks, you’re **** to dress up like different cartoon characters every day, you can’t get more than ten feet away from your sister without her turning into a puddle of slime, and you’re just now becoming my mother because I was brought back to life as a fully-grown person. …You being a hypocrite is such a non-issue for me I don’t even care.”

…Well, when she put it like that, Carly suddenly felt kind of foolish for making such a huge deal out of this.

But she was still going to do her best to change, for her daughter’s sake.