Your House

The weeks pass by too quickly for your liking. One day, you find a box emblazoned with the 'Momotashi' logo and with a return Address in Tokyo - marked priority shipping - at your door. You tentatively open it, revealing a single cammed drink with the art of an anime girl smiling, winking and flashing a 'V-for-Victory' sign. Her breasts are comically large, barely constrained by what passes for an outfit.

You sigh, looking over the can for any sign of anything you can understand, but alas, it is all indecipherable to you.

"Fuck it," you mutter. You pop the tab and take a sip.

The taste is... weird. Your tongue tingles a bit. It smells worse than it tastes - but the taste itself is unplaceable: simultaneously fruity but also weirdly like artificial bubblegum. Still, you took a bet - so you chug the stuff down. Your stomach grumbles at the addition of a distinctly foreign liquid.

Moments after finishing the can, you begin to shake. You start sweating. Something in your head whispers to you: you need to be the perfect waifu or husbando. You need to find someone to spend the rest of your life with. Do it! Now!

With what's left of your willpower you decide to...