From Scheme to Dream

Sarah was a long-game kind of girl. Once she knew the target she was aiming for, she would work diligently toward it. Things didn't have to happen all at once. Hank Granger, for example, was a long-game project. She'd been working away on him for a long time, waiting for the right moment, wearing down his defenses.

She should send Donna Granger a thank you card.

That one week of tension, whatever it was that was behind it, had changed everything. It had provided the opportunity to move things ahead of schedule, saving Sarah months of meticulous planning and manipulation.

And now she had Hank right where she wanted him.

But this kid could fuck it all up.

All her work. All her time. All gone because some stupid kid wants to talk to his dad, to save his family.

Well fuck that.

It had been obvious that Hank was up to something, the way he was sitting alone, staring at his phone. Luckily, thanks to her time working with him, Sarah knew his password. As soon as he wasn't looking, she unlocked the device, read the messages, then returned the phone to where he'd left it. Getting out of the house earlier was simple enough. She was already dressed and ready to go by the time Hank climbed in to the shower, and so she easily beat him to the coffee shop.

On her way out she 'accidentally' allowed Hank's car keys to fall behind the couch, giving her ample time to do what needed to be done.

This Joey kid was a problem, and Sarah was good at solving problems. Especially ones this pathetic. Scrawny, pale, a boy trying to swim in a man's world. She'd heard Hank talk about him at work. Always with disappointment. Joey didn't play sports. Didn't know tools. Didn't have a plan for after high school.

Still, there was a dangerous connection between fathers and their sons, even those who don't understand each other. Just in case, she would need to make sure he wouldn't interfere with her plans. It wouldn't be hard to scare him off. Sarah would show him who he was dealing with, someone formidable, someone who could do some damage. Guys like him were all bark and no bite. He'd fold like a lawn chair.

And so she'd sat down, railing into him, making clear who was in charge. He was obviously reeling, not expecting the onslaught of aggression. If he was any kind of man he would have told her to shut up. But instead he just sat there and took it.

"You know what I do appreciate?" she continued, voice low. "Boundaries. So here's one. I want you gone before Hank gets here. You had your little text exchange. Let that be enough. That's fair, right?"

But then something seemed to change. A look in his eye, like something had snapped. Had she pushed too far, too quickly?

And then he spoke.

"Um... actually..."

She swallowed hard as she watched his face turn red with rage. He leaned across the table and spoke to her in a tone of seething hatred, a quiet, controlled voice that told her that she had utterly misread the situation.

"You seem obsessed with control," Joey said, voice low. "But deep down, that's not what you really want. You want to be controlled. That's why you ended up with my dad—with Hank. The men in our family, we're all strong. The kind of strength in a man that you crave, that you want in control of your life. Hank Granger is 100 times the man you deserve. You want to please him more than anything. You want to make him happy way more than you care about your own happiness."

Sarah's lips parted. "I, er—"

"Um, actually," Joey cut in, eyes narrowing, "I'm not done. You'd do anything for my dad. Be anything for him. Nothing is too good for him. And he should never go through a single day doubting your love or your loyalty. So figure it out. Fast."

He let the words hang for a moment, then added:

"And back off about me and my family. You don't get to have an opinion about us except that we're great. Hank is your concern, not us. You worry about your man. About how you're gonna stop acting like a bitch and start being my dad's dream girl. Got it?"

He stopped talking and sat back, then took a very purposeful swig of his drink. The world seemed to spin for Sarah. Where the hell had that come from? Had she read this dweeb wrong? Did he secretly have a hidden well of strength inside of him? One that she should have considered in her strategy?

"You seem obsessed with control."

Her jaw clenched. For someone who hardly knew her, he had sure read her right. Her whole life she had looked for angles to get on top, to manipulate and control her environment. And those around her. It was the only way to make sure that she was safe, after all. She couldn't remember a time where she, at least once in every social situation, tried to work the other person, find a way to make them dance to her tune.

But Joey wasn't just calling her out. He was pointing out that he was onto her, that he saw through her facade.

"But deep down, that's not what you really want. You want to be controlled."

Her pulse ticked hard behind her ear. Who the hell did this kid think he was. Controlled? The nervousness she felt a moment ago, the sense of being seen, being exposed, vanished. He had absolutely no idea what he was talking about.

Sarah wanted control. She wanted to be in charge of her own destiny. It was the only way to ensure the best life for herself.

And yet there was something there, a tickle of truth, a way of seeing the world that she hadn't considered. Or at least hadn't admitted to herself.

Of all the men on the planet, all the targets Sarah could have chosen, why would she have picked someone like Hank? He was strong, physically yes, but also in character. He commanded a room. It was no accident that he had gotten to where he was career-wise. Hank had made that happen through hard work and **** of personality. She'd seen it many times, Hank walking into a chaotic situation and sorting it out, or a messy HR problem that he solved with a quick direction and a stern look.

Hank Granger was good at being in control.

Perhaps even better than Sarah.

It was like a pit opened up in her stomach. How could she not have seen it before? If she really wanted control, she could have picked any dork. No, she had picked Hank, and control was what he was good at.

All of her manipulations, all of her scheming, all of it had been projecting. It was so obvious now. Sarah was acting out in ways that she had hoped someone would act with her. She had things upside-down. What Sarah wanted was the other side of the coin, to be the one controlled.

"That’s why you ended up with my dad—with Hank."

YES!

An image of Hank appeared in her mind, but not how she had seen him before, not how she had erroneously pictured him. It was Hank Granger, standing over her, big, in control, while she was low, submissive. She imagined herself on her knees, looking up at the man she belonged to. He would make things so much better. He would make her feel safe.

Hank take the wheel.

Please.

"The men in our family, we're all strong. The kind of strength in a man that you crave, that you want in control of your life."

The image of Hank vanished from her mind and she locked eyes with Joey, his son. She could see it in him. What she had ignored at the beginning, when she had attacked him horrifically, insulted him, ridiculed him. Joey was strong, just like Hank. Sitting so close to him felt dangerous, enticing. Like a needle sitting on the table in front of an addict. She did, in fact, want Joey to take control of her life.

Maybe one day, if Hank were to ever reject her, or (God forbid) something were to happen to the man she was with, Joey would consider taking control of her life. He was, after all, quite a strong man. She could do far worse. In fact, thinking through the men she'd met in her lifetime, she wasn't sure she could do much better.

"Hank Granger is 100 times the man you deserve."

Her mouth went dry. She was still struggling with the realization of how strong Joey and Hank were, how much she craved their strength. This new information, this realignment of her self-image hit her like a freight train.

A sense of self-loathing she had never experienced tied itself around her neck and threatened to strangle her.

Sarah was the worst.

Hank Granger, her boss, her lover, was far more than she should have expected out of life, and she was squandering it for a career aspiration. What kind of monster was she?

"You want to please him more than anything. You want to make him happy way more than you care about your own happiness."

Tears burned behind her eyes. It was like a window into her future had opened, the fresh air of possibility allowing her to breath. Hank was so wonderful for allowing her to share a bed with him, for allowing her to work with him. Without Hank, she would be nothing. Less than nothing!

Life began to have meaning again, even for a worthless worm such as she. She saw Hank as her purpose. He needed to feel happy, to be pleased, to be fulfilled. Already she could feel herself distancing from her own self-satisfaction. Why would she care about something so meaningless? Women like Sarah didn't get second chances to be with men like Hank. If she screwed this up, she might as well turn to dust and blow away.

No, she would not turn to dust. She had a mission. Hank would be happy. No matter what it cost her.

"You'd do anything for my dad. Be anything for him. Nothing is too good for him. And he should never go through a single day doubting your love or your loyalty. So figure it out. Fast."

Yes.

God, yes.

What was so special about Sarah anyway? Every piece of her could be rewritten for a man like Hank. That would be true purpose, a pure life. She would give of herself to him continually, conveying her love and devotion through dedication to his needs and desires.

Cook for him?

Easy.

Clean for him?

A pleasure.

Wait on him? Serve beer to his friends?

Yes. Happily.

Dress sexily so that he can show her off?

Without a second thought.

But why stop at behaviours? What did Hank need? What did Hank want? Anything was on the table for a man like him. Did he want bigger tits? How about a nose job? Did he even like the name Sarah?

She had spent breakfast with her man, but had she conveyed her true feelings to him in a way that he understood them? She had the rest of the day to help him understand. To show him that she loved him, and that she would do anything for him.

Love.

Sarah had never been in love before. She had doubted that it was even a real thing. She'd seen schoolmates fall for each other time and time again, only to have their relationships fall apart in almost every instance. But Joey had shown her the light. What she had with Hank was pure. True love. It was like a storybook come to life. And she would spend the rest of her days showing Hank how much he meant to her.

"And back off about me and my family. You don't get to have an opinion about us except that we're great. Hank is your concern, not us."

Why had Sarah been so concerned about Joey and Donna? There was no threat there. They were, just as Joey said, great! She had so worried about Joey getting between her and her man, her target.

So wrong.

Joey wasn't her concern.

And Hank was no target.

Whatever had happened between Donna and Hank was their problem. Sarah had no business messing in their family, so she would let them be. If Joey wanted to strengthen his relationship with his dad? As long as it made Hank happy, Sarah would encourage it. Hell, if Hank and Donna even found a way to reconcile, and it truly made Hank happy, Sarah would show her love by cheering him on.

Of course she hoped that wasn't what happened.

But it wasn't her choice. It was her man's choice. He was in control.

"You worry about your man. About how you're gonna stop acting like a bitch and start being my dad's dream girl. Got it?"

And so Joey summed up the truth for her. She had been a bitch. Not just during their encounter in the coffee shop, but her whole life. How many people had she been horrible to? How many people had she manipulated? Used?

No more.

Sarah was turning over a new leaf. She would be with Hank. She would do whatever it took to become his dream girl. He'd never notice another girl again, as long as Sarah was around. His needs, his desires, even those he kept hidden in the deep, dark, secret places. It was all on the table. Sarah had been emptied out of her old self and refilled with purpose. With direction.

And it felt like relief.