Patricia, a professor, promoting her university

When you are in your early fifties you already understand that you are not a part of the ‘young generation’, even if you manage to stay in good health. Patricia was aware of that, but that fact did not make her necessarily upset. She might have been fifty two years old, but she was not out of touch just yet. Mostly because of her character, but also because of her work. Professor Patricia Newton was a Dean of the Physics Faculty at Oxbridge University. Regular contacts with students managed to constantly rejuvenite her spirit, while she pursued her scientific, educational and administrative career.

Patricia was fully aware that a healthy life-style was necessary to maintain a well-functioning mind. That was why she kept a balanced diet and exercised regularly. She managed to remain in a perfect physical and intellectual shape. Patricia had never been a truly beautiful woman, but was still quite attractive; though no longer turned heads as she had in her prime. It would not be appropriate for a Dean anyway; that was why she maintained a style which was elegant and professional, but still feminine and attractive.

Patricia’s personal life was not as successful as her career. Though she had married relatively early and had three kids, she and her husband divorced once their offspring reached adulthood. Sporadic short-lived romances were the only semblance of her personal life since then. Currently her mind was more occupied with more than feelings though, because she had just developed a new advertising campaign for the University. Because Patricia believed that modern problems require modern solutions she was not afraid to use highly unorthodox advertising methods. The Dean decided to participate in the Who Wanna Be a Bimbo quiz show. She was aware how popular the show was among her students, so she had no doubts that her participation would boost the recognition and popularity of her alma mater. Plus the prize would be used to fund scholarships for a few best students.

As a teacher, scientist and an administrator the Dean was naturally methodical, so she watched several episodes of the quiz. To say that they made her blush would be a serious understatement. While a part of her considered some of the scenes at least inappropriate, another part, which had been dormant for years, reawakened and was exceptionally excited. Patricia had a lot of experience in performing in front of a small crowd, but she suspected that standing on the stage would be significantly different that giving lectures; it did not discourage her though. The Dean’s methodical approach was even more important when preparing for the quiz itself. Naturally she had a superb memory and knew effective methods of learning, but she soon learnt something moderately unpleasant. Random, disjointed pieces of information were a lot more difficult to memorise than even the most complex, but complete and logical, theorem. Her brain simply was not designed for memorising a lot of nothing, even if all of those ‘nothings’ were part of a Greater Something. That Something was just never present, so a bigger picture was unable to ever appear. Thus the learning process was not as efficient as she had hoped and certainly not as pleasant. These obstacles did not mean that Patricial failed, she simply did not feel as comfortable as she would like to. That did not discourage her either.

“Good evening, Ladies and Gentlemen! My name is Frank Trustworthy. Today with me is the most distinguished guest we had ever had on our show. Please, give a warm welcome to Professor Patricia Newton, the Dean of Oxbridge University.”

The audience clapped loudly, but their surprise could be felt. An actual Dean at the show was as distinguished as she was astonishing.

Patricia was wearing a suit which she usually used for official celebrations. It consisted of a white shirt, light navy blue jacket and a tight knee-long skirt in the same colour. It was tailored perfectly and flaunted her full, feminine curves while remaining classy and without being revealing. Her legs were covered in sheer black pantyhose and on her feet she wore elegant pumps on seven centimetre tall heels.

“Good evening, Professor,” the host continued when they quieted down, “please, tell me, why does a Dean want to become a bimbo?” he asked with a wink.

“Good evening, Frank,” Patricia replied with a friendly smile, “please, call me Patricia. This show doesn’t seem to be a place for such formal titles. As for your question, I don’t want to become a bimbo. My goal is to promote the university and gather funds for a new scholarship program.”

“A noble goal,” the host replied seriously, “we’ll be happy to support you in pursuing it. But are there no transformations that you’d wish to undergo?”

The Dean had seen enough episodes to be aware how risky being transformed could be, though she had to admit that many of them looked tempting, especially the rejuvenating ones. But she also knew that in order for the advertising effect to occur she had to play the game and entertain the audience.

“I admit, some of them could be beneficial,” Patricia said in a casual tone, “especially the ones that could revert the effects of ageing, like wrinkles or… ehem, sagging. Even not having to dye the grey hair that is beginning to appear would be welcome.”

She was not lying, she would indeed like to undergo such transformations. She just was not sure whether they were worth the risk.

“We have all that and more!” Frank replied with a grin, “but remember, in order to get a chance to draw a desired transformation you need to give incorrect answers. And I get a feeling that you’re one of the best prepared contestants we ever had.”

“Your assumption is correct in that I’m indeed well prepared. I’m not a regular viewer though, so I’m not sure how I look compared to others.”

“That answer alone tells me that you’re easily top three. Are you ready to begin?”

“Yes.”

“Draw the categories.”

“Art, Food, Languages, Recognise Weapons and Military Vehicles, Wonders of the World, Countries by Area, Poland, British Empire, French Geography, Metals, Solar System, Postapo.”

“Can you confirm your confidence in your preparation after learning the categories?”

“Yes,” Patricia replied in a serious tone, “I feel comfortable about most of them.”

“Which category for the first round?”

“British Empire.”