Monday from Hell

Everything worked out well at the start, hot pic from Kianna, as always:

Bruriah was a woman of great learning, who because of her learning disputed the lessons regarding the light-mindedness of women. In turn Rabbi Meir sent a student to seduce her and prove her wrong. The student succeeded. Some say she committed suicide in shame, but given that the Rabbi then left Israel, allegedly in shame, I think it more likely that he took her as her concubine and headed out into the world to claim more arrogant women and show them their place!

Then all my new carpool buddies were on time, I imbued the one who worked in the women’s wing. I got a match even, it was no one, just a small time thug I’d arrested, who’d taken a swing at me. She was doing 3-5, no use to me at all. I deleted her, but it proved the theory worked and there were more useful women in there, some of whom were getting out soonish. And one of the others was up for a transfer to the meta wing, where there might be even more useful women.

I’d headed out early, but I'd hit all the lights and had no problems. And, since I was early, I made it through security with no lines, so I arrived even earlier than I'd expected. Which usually would have been fine…except that it meant I was the first one into the library. I opened the door…which should have been locked. And found myself face to face with fucking Zsasz who somehow had a goddamn knife in my face.

My hands flew up, “Parley, let’s talk, if we fight, there’s going to be a lot of noise.” I honestly had a hard time recognizing it was Zsasz, the knife loomed so large in my vision. I had a stun baton and the silent alarm, but I couldn’t reach them before he could thrust. My stab vest would stop a knife, but my throat sure as fuck wouldn’t.

“Shut up, why are you interfering. I’m not here for you!” he snapped and I belatedly noticed his other hand was holding an inmate, female, young, one who’s face I recognized but not her name. Some embezzler I think, who’d bought her way into Arkham rather than Blackgate. And was probably regretting that now.

“Not interfering. Didn’t know you were here.”

“Duh. You’re interfering. The guards walked this piece of bait past my cell, twice a day! And now you’re interfering with me finally skinning her and adding her to my tally,” he laughed, tapping his knife against the scars that lined his flesh, supposedly one for every person he’d murdered…fuck that was a lot of tally marks.

“You won’t have time for that here. We’re coming in early because of the new check-out policy. More guards will be here in a few minutes.”

Since I visibly had the key to the place in my hand, that had a certain sense of realism and it was even true, if by ‘a few’ you meant 15-20. He lowered his blade a little. “Damnit! Damnit! Damnit! I guess I’ll have to kill her quick, then you…I guess you can just get a beating for the--”

Which was when I spoke up like a fucking idiot. “Or you can take her to the bathrooms one floor up. No one will be there until later.” That was true. “If you take her and don’t hurt me…whose to say you were ever here? You can take your time and I don’t get a beating, or have to talk to my bitch bosses about this.”

“How do I know you won’t just call the guards as soon as I leave?”

“Because then I’d have Victor Zsasz angry with me, while I work at Arkham…that sounds real dumb, for no upside.” The girl whimpered. “Sorry, miss, but you’re dead no matter what. Nothing I can do about that. The only question is what happens to me. This seems like the best deal for both of us?”

I offered him my hand. He shook it after a moment.

Then he pulled the girl in tight, one arm covering her mouth, the other bringing the knife to menace her and as he stepped past me, I lowered my hands, pushed the silent alarm and lunged for him with the stun baton. Even with his back to me, he spun. I got him in the side, he got me in the forearm, but the stun baton kept discharging into him as he began to twist under the electrical charge.

The cut was superficial. My free hand grabbed his head and slammed it against the doorframe. The girl ran as his arm went slack, screaming.

Zsasz tried to struggle, but with the full current running through him, it was hard. He still managed, fucking somehow, to pull another knife out and try to stick it in my leg. I dodged, mostly, taking a minor cut, and slammed his head against the doorjam again. This time he staggered and I pushed him down with the stun baton. He hit the ground hard, but held onto the knives in each hand. With both my hands pushing down on the stun baton as he tried to somehow push me back, a big, but I stomped savagely at his arms and hands (and the rest of him if I hit it). It was surprisingly hard to hit a moving target like that, but I managed once, crushing his right wrist, and forcing him to finally drop the fucking blade.

The screaming woman and silent alarm had had an effect, there were pounding feet coming towards me. A moment later, another guard’s stun baton joined mine and he finally stopped struggling. I aimed more carefully and crushed his other wrist, prompting him to drop the other knife, finally. I pulled back for a kick which would stomp his skull fucking flat, only to be tackled by a third guard as more poured in, pushing the stun batons against him as restraints were brought in.

“What the fuck, get off me, man,” I yelled.

He did, but kept himself between me and Zsasz. “Don’t fucking say anything,” he countered, so serious I actually shut up, confused as all hell. “The boss is on her way, keep your fucking mouth shut until you talk to her if you want to keep your job.”

What the fuck. My brain repeated, before belatedly noticing some things.

Achievement Unlocked: Parley Breaker, Zsasz:
You made a deal and broke it with Victor Zsasz, Reward: Parley no longer works on him, or anyone who trusts him. This could have been avoided, if you’d killed him before he could talk…oh, well. Fortunately for you…no one trusts Victor Zsasz, but be careful in future.

Well…I guess that made sense, but was less useful than I might have hoped.

Achievement Unlocked: Knight In Shiny Armor:
You saved a damsel in distress. Knights are fucking pussies more concerned with looking good than being useful. Reward: 5 credits which can be used only for cosmetic upgrades for yourself.

Achievement Unlocked: Fighter not a Lover:
That’s the opposite of what this app is for and too close to superhero territory. Still…good work, I guess. Reward: Intimidating Presence, Perk

Intimidating Presence, Perk:
You seem like a person who can handle themselves in a fight. Any person you have a reasonable chance of defeating, is extremely unlikely to attack you unless you leave them ****. They will also find you intimidating. At this tier, this trait decreases in effectiveness significantly as the number of allies the person has grows. At this stage, no decrease until more than two enemies.

I glanced at the upgrades:

Upgrade number of enemies by 1: 3 credits. This can be purchased multiple times.
Reduce chance of victory needed to minimal: 8 credits
Remove enemy limit: 15 credits.

Wow, those could be helpful, but also expensive…

Mission Unlocked: You or Him:
You betrayed Victor Zsasz and stole his prey. The only way this ends is if one or the other of you are dead. Get him before he gets you. Intimidating Presence does not affect Zsasz, but may affect any allies he gathers. Reward: Survival and --

FUCK!

Well…he was badly hurt. I’d crushed both his wrists with all my strength. I’d have some time, though I also wanted to know why the fuck I’d been stopped. There were no video cameras in this part of the asylum. He’d broken out and attacked a guard, a beating was the best he could have hoped for.

Francine stalked in along with her little commando squad, who were supposed to deal with breakouts.

“Cain, with me,” she snapped, telling the other guards to ‘clean this place up, since they’d missed all the work.’ A medic must have bound up my wounds, as I’d been so distracted I hadn’t noticed, but now they stung like a bitch, but were wrapped tight to prevent further bleeding.

There wasn’t actually that much to clean up. Some blood and the door wasn’t fitting right at the moment, but that was it.

I followed Francine out. “Good work with Zsasz.”

“Then why--”

“You’re getting two or three demerits.”

“What?” I struggled to remember orientation. There were demerits for various infractions. Five and you were suspended for a week. Ten and you were fired. They fell off at a rate of one every six months without gaining another one. “Is this because of--”

“It’s because of the same rule that’s been here since forever. Why do you think the fucking Joker hasn’t woken up one day without his fucking head?”

“I dunno, the rules?”

“No, the fact that the rules are enforced and not by fucking getting fired. Listen, do you remember Calender Man?”

“No.”

“Minor crazy supervillain. One of our guards killed him for payback for what he did to the man’s family. Then the guard was fired and his life was fucking ruined. No one should have been able to prove a damn thing, a jury shouldn’t have convicted, but he ended up in Blackgate, and not in protective custody. And not just him, everyone who was left he cared about got burned too”

“Shit.” I wasn't 100% sure I believed her, but when I checked, it was true, at least the guy's fate, I couldn't say why he'd been so thoroughly fucked.

“Shit indeed.”

“Why?”

“Don’t fucking know. But this goes back to before Alyce. I talked to the old timers, it’s always been true. A little **** is expected, but no one fucking dies in Arkham, except at the hand of other inmates. I’ve asked around, no one knows why, but it’s true. I hear you were about to kill him and James stopped you. I’d thank him.”

“Fine, will do. But why the demerits if I didn’t actually--”

“Fucking Alyce and Penelope will be able to tell that Zsasz’s wrists were crushed while he was on the floor. They’ll call that excessive ****, even though it’s exactly the right amount of **** for that goddamn psycho. Alyce’ll argue for firing, Penelope will argue for suspension and I’ll argue for fucking nothing and we’ll land on a couple of demerits and maybe a written reprimand in your file.”

“I’m really supposed to believe that you’ll stand up for me--”

“You’ll be there, dumbfuck, it’s a disciplinary hearing!”

“Oh.”

“Also, if I didn’t stand up for my people against bullshit like this, then the next time Zsasz breaks out, they won’t stand with me against him and I don’t fancy my chances on my own against that psycho and his knives.”

I paused. “Wait, was that a compl--”

“Get your ass down to medical. Once those are checked out, you’re off for the rest of the day and tomorrow. The hearing will be Wednesday. It’ll be first thing in the morning, be ready.”

“Do I need a lawyer or something?”

“No. And they wouldn’t be allowed in even if you got one. This is an informal proceeding. You’ll be first, they won’t call you back unless they think you lied. So don’t fucking lie. There’s no blue wall here, and you haven’t made any real friends, plus those bitches are scary good at figuring out what the physical evidence says, so just tell the truth and take your lumps. Unless you lie, we’ll most likely move straight to decision, we’ll argue and the Director will make a decision.”

“Hang on, doesn’t she want to fire--”

“She wants to punish. She starts at the highest level, so she can be talked down. Like I said, not stupid. If she fired guards for defending themselves, we wouldn’t have any guards.”

I nodded and turned.

”Oh, I’ve got that info for you. I’ll get it to you.”

“Thanks,” I said, with less sarcasm than I intended, then headed out. I did stop to get a copy of the employee manual, but she wasn’t jerking me around on this, everything she’d said was basically true. I headed over to medical. Penelope was there. The more ‘doctory’ doctor was with Zsasz as I’d done some head trauma along with the broken wrists, and just to up the creepy factor, she had that fucking puppet Scarface in her office, presumably checked out as part of her planned treatment for Peyton.

I headed over to her, “Hey doc, I’m here to get sewn up, who can do that?”

“I’ll take care of it,” she waved me into a seat.

I took it. “How’s the girl?”

“She’s fine. I warned everyone about not bringing people past his cell, but does anyone listen? No! Zsasz gets obsessed with a tiny fraction of the people he sees, obviously we need to limit the new people he sees. It’s not like he’s subtle about his fucking obsessions!”

“Huh. I didn’t know that. Given I’ve now been attacked…twice by inmates. Tell me, are there any tricks I can use to keep that from happening?”

“Of course! I really should brief all you security goons, but Chief Boles doesn’t want me doing it. Prefers to handle things her way.” +3 SP (Penelope -45)

She then proceeded to talk my ear off, laugh off my request for any painkillers and share a bunch of information about the inmates she probably should have. Almost none of which meant anything to me. Peyton had multiple personalities, which I’d already figured out. Firefly was a pyro, no shit. Zsasz was a psycho, same. Bane was a prison-baby who treated the whole world like prison. Harley was obsessed with a monster and proving herself worthy of him. Poison Ivy was obsessed with cleansing the world of humanity…blah, blah, blah.

I finally got sewn up and went home. Fuck, I was still going to have to go out later and pick my new 'buddies' up from work…ah well.