Unexpected emotions

Vel had half expected to run into Dina on their way back to the estate, but they met no one. He was relying on his cane, which made for slow going, but Jeane did not seem to mind. At the front door’s their paths diverged, Vel headed towards the family’s living quarters while Jeane went towards the barracks.

As he was hobbling past one of the many lounges he spotted Chielynn sitting in a plush armchair by a window doing some embroidery. Truly the image of a proper noble lady, her wavy brown hair shone in the sunlight coming through the window, her dress was immaculate, and her needlework sublime. She was also all alone, and a perfect target. He would have to pass by where she was sitting to get to his own quarters, so he just kept on hobbling. She had shown no reaction to his presence, though there was no way she hadn’t heard his cane on the hard floor. As soon as he thought he was close enough, he reached for her mind.

Once again, fear. She was sitting by herself doing needlework, but she was afraid. He didn’t think just hearing his cane had inspired this fear in her, it wasn’t fluctuating much, it seemed fairly constant. Why was his sister so afraid all the time? Maybe he could catch a stray thought if he used fracture. He’d never done it before and so wasn’t quite sure what to expect. It was less than he had expected, not in terms of its effect, but he had been expecting a hammer blow to the membrane. It wasn’t that. It was more like a pick that lightly tapped on one point of the membrane. He could understand how this was possible to do without the target noticing. Vel realized he could have put more **** behind it if he wanted. Oh well, two small cracks had spread out from the point of impact, so his first fracture had been a success.

He hadn’t stopped walking during all this, though he had slowed his pace a little. Even so he had pretty much reached Chielynn by now, so while still monitoring her mind, he greeted her. “Hi, Lynn.” She ignored him, which was expected. What wasn’t expected was the spike of guilt she experienced as she did so. Vel actually stopped in his tracks, he was that surprised. Lynn, while still not looking up, had clearly heard him stop and her fear grew a little. “You okay, Lynn?” She still didn’t look up, but she clearly felt like she had to answer. While still afraid and guilty, she was also a bit uncomfortable. “Yes, I’m fine, thank you.” Her guilt spiked again. She clearly wanted him to leave. Through the cracks he caught a thought: “I hope he leaves”.

He had not expected guilt in her, and he still didn’t understand why she was so damn scared. Probe time. He sent it off with instructions to get to the bottom of why she felt guilt towards him right now, and why she was afraid seemingly all the time. He remembered that probes had limited ability to store information, but he was the heir, hopefully his were superior. He just stood there in silence, watching a very tense Lynn focus on her needlework while acting like he wasn’t there.

Thankfully, probably due to the cracked membrane, the piece of his mind returned within moments. He had given the instructions about guilt first, and so was shown the answers the probe had found for that first. It started with a memory of a young Lynn playing with her little brother. She was holding him up with both arms and they were sort of dancing, which looked pretty funny considering his disability. They were clearly having a great time; both were laughing in that carefree way only children really can. A few similar memories of her playing with him or even taking care of him rapidly flitted by. Had the probe compressed them to save space? Next, he was shown how, as Vel got older, the ostracization began. At first it seemed Lynn had resisted, but as the pressure mounted, things got bad. He witnessed a lot of fights, including between his parents. He saw a young Lynn trying her best to play peacemaker. She had felt responsible, at least to some degree. He saw Lord Luthor scream at Lady Rienne. He saw Dina yelling at Lynn. The fight that ended with the screaming had broken out because their mother had defended Lynn spending time with her little brother, So Amordina had said it was her fault. And that was where the probe had been able to store no more, and it ended.

That was a lot. The guilt and fear were intertwined then. Lynn was terrified and walking on eggshells because she feared conflict and fights and she, at least to some degree, blamed herself when they did break out. That explained a lot about this morning. Vel had lost most of the happy memories of playing with his sister, of her helping him dress himself, and so on that he the probe had shown him. But now that he had been reminded, a few resurfaced. So too did the pain he had felt when his sister suddenly had no time for him anymore. Pain that he had pushed away to the deepest recesses of his mind. He remembered knocking on her door and receiving no reply, until after multiple minutes of knocking, being told to go away. Lynn must have felt terrible about it. He’d never realized she was a victim in this as well. To this day, she felt bad about ignoring him, but she thought it was the best way to keep the peace. And she clearly thought that was her job to do, which of course it wasn’t.

While this did this change Vel’s perspective a lot, it didn’t mean he completely forgave Lynn. She was not absolved of blame because she felt bad. She had been an adult for many years now and could have rejected their father’s and Dina’s nonsense long ago. And the recently resurfaced hurt stung now that he had found it again. There might be a path of redemption for Lynn, but she would have to atone, if she was willing. He could help her be willing.

The cracks in her mind had already begun healing, but they remained open for now. He formed his first ever suggestion. I feel terrible about what I did to my brother. He sent it, and immediately felt that it had not sunk in. Not because her mind had rejected it, but because that was already how she felt. Oh. He tried again. I want my brother’s forgiveness. The same thing happened. Maybe there was hope for Lynn indeed. A third attempt, then. I would do anything to earn my brother’s forgiveness. That was simply rejected. Damn it. Perhaps that was too much. Fourth time’s the charm? I am willing to go to great lengths to earn my brother’s forgiveness. For the first time ever, Vel experienced what it felt like when the mind of a target accepted a suggestion. It was a bit strange, but pleasant. He decided he would try to do his sister a favor. If father or Dina start a fight, they are the ones to blame for it. Her mind rejected it, fuck. He was growing exhausted; this was draining him quickly. One last attempt. I am not to blame if Father or Dina start a fight. Her mind accepted it. That was something at least. Vel headed for his room, leaving behind a sad, scared, guilty and confused Chielynn.