Night with Natalie

The door opened to reveal Natalie and I took a moment to look her over. Her dark wash jeans hugged her, but didn’t seem overly restrictive. The flowy top she wore was a beautiful shade of coral that radiated a soft warmth. It skimmed over her arms and flowed loosely down her torso, adding a touch of elegance and ease to her look. A pair of sleek ankle boots with a small heel added some height without sacrificing comfort. In her hand was a leather jacket to help against the cold.

All appropriate for a casual night out.

When my eyes returned to her face, she had an amused smile as her Noise fluttered with positive emotions.

“Well? Do I pass muster?”

I gave her a curt nod. “You look great.”

Her tone was playful as she put her jacket on. “Would have been better if I knew where you were taking me. ‘Nice but casual’ isn’t a whole lot to go off of.”

She got close as she stepped out of her apartment and turned to lock up. A hint of vanilla and sandalwood hit me, different than her usual sea breeze scent. It made me take a second look when she turned to me. She left her hair loose, a gently waviness to it as she left a few strands to frame her face. Natalie had makeup as well, with a light dusting of pink blush, sweep of mascara to bring out her eyes, and a neutral gloss to give her lips a slight shine. It seemed she was putting more effort into this than first glance suggested.

“Ready?” she asked, excitement surging in her Noise. I placed a smile on my face and offered my arm to her. There was a moment of hesitation before she took it and together we moved to the elevator. While it finally got some much needed repairs, it rattled as it lowered itself to the ground floor.

“Any hints?” she asked, leaning in close.

“No.”

“Boo. You’re no fun.”

We made light conversation as we walked to the parking garage. I got a surge of approval from her as I opened the door for her. The conversation ranged from work to Alexis. As I suspected, her sister’s newfound determination to be helpful was grating on her as it was an over-correction of sorts. A constant reminder that things weren’t normal, which drudged up unpleasant memories. Natalie desired something more normal. Not that this outing was normal, but I decided against our standard bad movie at home. I had a feeling she was feeling cooped up since she was no longer going out to visit with Thomas.

Natalie was over the moon when I brought her to our destination. The small comedy club had good reviews for being small and having an intimate atmosphere, and the comedian was a popular one. Beyond his natural humor, he had a passive Gift that helped boost happiness. The tickets were pricey, but the spike in Natalie’s Noise made them well worth the cost.

Even with the small crowd, the collective Noise made it difficult to be comfortable. At least the emotions swirling about were positive. With some focus, I was able to pick out Natalie’s Noise from the others. While it didn’t have the blanket effect Chloe’s had, or the familiarity of Alexis’, it helped as a buffer to the others.

The comedian seemed to be everything reviews promised. The club was awash in laughter as he went through his set. Most importantly, Natalie was having a great time. She seemed to shed the last of the weight she’d been carrying, relaxing and enjoying the moment. Hearing her laugh, the joy rushing through her Noise, and the happy glances she gave me me for an enjoyable night even if I was the only straight face in the audience.

“I needed that. Thanks,” she said as we left.

“I’m glad you enjoyed it.”

She nudged me with her elbow, playfulness in her voice. “Never seen someone so straight-faced in a comedy club before. You didn’t laugh at a single joke.”

“Comedy is a challenge for me.” Her smile faded, and I realized she might have mistaken my statement as not enjoying myself. “His routine was good, and the stories were enjoyable, but humor doesn’t affect me like others.”

A somberness settled into her Noise, diminishing some of the joy that had built up. Not enough to snuff it out completely though. Head back, she let out a long breath that cast a long white plume. “I used to be jealous of Alexis. Thought it was unfair she got a Gift and I didn’t.” She glanced over at me. “Seems like everyone I know with a Gift has some downside.”

“Know many people with a Gift?”

“Well, no. Beyond you, Alexis, and Chloe, maybe two or three? One of my coworkers has a passive Gift that makes her grumpy.” She grinned. “So she says, anyway. I just think that is her natural state of being. She seems to love being grumpy and embraces it. Not like Lee—ah, he’s a guy in IT. Poor guy has anxiety. Not the general sort that some people get, but a triggered semi-active Gift. No idea what his trigger is, but he usually turns into a mess if it happens at work. Nice guy though. Cute. Never been into his type before but—” Her Noise shifted. Spikes of emotions shot through it as she wrestled with the thoughts that caused them. There was a vast spectrum she ran through in a short amount of time. Lust. Desire. Disgust. Fear. Anger. Even embarrassment when she realized I was staring at her.

She wrinkled her nose as she got control of her emotions, focusing back on me. “I can see why Alexis complains about you. Not a pleasant feeling knowing someone is peeking inside your head.”

“I can’t read minds.”

“Yet you can probably piece some things together based on context, right? I talk about a cute IT guy and you see lust and desire. Not hard to imagine what I’m thinking about.”

“Nothing wrong with finding someone attractive.”

Hands in her pockets, she walked beside me. “It is when I’m still sorting through the ruins of my old relationship. I don’t know if I am attracted to him or—” She cut herself off, letting out a frustrated sigh.

“Or the part of Alexis inside you?” Her eyes widened, staring at me in shock. “Alexis has the same thing. It is strongest when she is doing something a bit out of character for her, like studying or doing work.”

It took her a moment to recover, then her shoulders sagged. “Is it that noticeable?”

I took a look at her Noise, ignoring the emotional storm to focus on the bit of Alexis. “Not at casual glance, but if I’m looking for it or getting a read on your Noise, I can pick it out. That is mainly due to me being familiar with you and Alexis though.” I took a quick read of her Noise. “But we don’t have to talk about this now. Food?”

Natalie gave me a smile and nodded. We walked in silence to a small food place nearby. It was a casual chain that leaned more fast-food. She was in better spirits when we settled in.

“You really know how to treat a woman,” she said with a grin before biting off the tip of a fry.

“So I’ve been told,” I deadpanned. I was rewarded with a quirked smile.

“Thanks, though. For tonight. Alexis means well, but I think all we are doing is driving each other crazy at the moment. It’s to the point that I was actually wishing she would go hook up with someone just to give me a moment alone to think.”

“And then I drag you out.”

“Didn’t mean it like that. I did need this. More than I thought I did.” She ate a few fries as I watched her Noise fill with various emotions. I remained silent, giving her the time she needed. There was no need for me to ask how she was doing or anything like that. I could see it. See that she needed this time to come to terms with things on her own.

The topic turned from feelings to more general things as Natalie shared stories about work or discussed some possible movies to watch at a later date. She wasn't done sorting through her emotions yet, but there was a shift in her Noise since we left the comedy club. A weight had been lifted, allowing her to get a better grasp of herself.

We walked back to her apartment in companionable silence, her hand resting lightly on my arm. As we drew closer, her grip grew tighter and she leaned in close. Her head was down, face hidden as she bit at her lower lip, mulling something over. When she came to a stop outside of her door, I stopped too and looked down at her. The light from above highlighted the contours of her face, making it easier to pick out her expression as she wrestled with her thoughts and feelings.

“Thanks for tonight.”

“Sure.”

She hesitated, then looked up. “This made me realize how little Tommy and I actually went out for the sake of going out and enjoying ourselves. So many weekends with him…” She sighed and shook the thought from her mind. “I always thought just spending time with him was enough, but now, with some distance, I see that the quality of the time spent matters too. All I did was act like a regular booty call. It’s no wonder he ended up thinking of me like one.”

A feeling of melancholy had settled in her Noise, like a heavy fog.

I stepped in closer, giving her a gentle hug. She stiffened for a second before wrapping her arms around me. Her grip was firm, almost ****, and her face buried itself in my chest. My arms were loose, hugging her without being restrictive or controlling. It took a minute, but she pulled away, wiping her eyes with a sniffle.

She gave me a weak smile. “Thanks, Jake.”

“Anytime.”

Her laugh sounded wet as she fumbled for her keys. “Seriously. You can't just say something like that and expect me not to take you up on it.”

I remained silent as she unlocked her door. There was a pause, and she looked back at me. “I would invite you inside, but I'm not sure it would be a good idea to be alone with you. Not that I don't trust you,” she added in a rush, her eyes widening as she realized how that sounded. “I don't fully trust myself at the moment. Things have been... weird.” Her eyes were intense as her gaze lingered. A part of her wanted to continue, desire and other emotions making clear what was left unsaid. Reason won out, having pushed back enough of those emotions for now. She managed a strained smile. “Chloe was already kind enough to let me borrow her boyfriend for a night. Don't think she'd be pleased if I tried making a move on him.”

The look in her eye spoke volumes about the thoughts in her head. I didn't need to examine her Noise to know what she was thinking about. A step back broke the spell as she focused on me once more. “Have a good night, Natalie.”

She took a breath, looking away from me as she did so. Guilt flared in her Noise with a touch of disgust. “You too. Really. Thanks for tonight, Jake.” She offered one last smile before retreating into her apartment. I waited a moment before doing the same. I did my best to ignore her Noise and the emotions that swirled within as she grappled with emotions that weren't entirely her own.