Time Together

Something had changed. By all metrics, days were no different than any other. Classes were the same, yet I found it increasingly difficult to pay attention. Reflecting on this odd turn of events, I found the issue was me. My mind tended to wander these days, which wasn’t like me. A restlessness that only seemed to settle when Chloe was near. It wasn’t anything concerning, only curious. I looked at it as a positive. Validation that our time together was mutually beneficial for both of us.

Chloe was improving more each day. Her baseline Noise was in a far better place than it had been when we first met. It became a dazzling array when she was with me. A beauty beyond words that no one could compare with. Then again, I was biased.

I had taken to reaching out and finding her during the day. Sometimes I didn’t even realize I was doing it. It took a good amount of mental energy to reach out that far with my Gift, but I found the expenditure worth it. A glimpse of her Noise when I wasn’t around was encouraging. Usually it was filled with little things I’d associated with her paying attention in class. The only period I avoided was third when she was in pre-calc. Grief, dismay, dread, boredom, and a slew of other negative emotions waited there.

But even those were mere surface emotions, and not a foundational aspect of her Noise. Not anymore. These days, her Noise was home to positive emotions, or at least neutral ones. Negative feelings she’d harbored inside herself were being chipped away bit by bit. There was still some ways to go, but she was on a good path now. I hoped that one day, she would care for herself as much as she cared for me.

Looking up from the book I was reading, I found her working on her pre-calc packet. I watched, focusing not on her Noise, but on her. The way she ran her teeth over her lips as she thought. The focus in her eyes as they moved from the paper to the calculator. How she brushed at her hair that fell into her face from leaning forward.

I wished that the sight would move something inside me. I could see the beauty there in front of me. A collection of brush strokes built into a work of art. The way her hazel eyes crinkled slightly when she smiled. The way her cute lips parted as she chewed on the clip of her pencil. Her silky brown hair framed her face and covered her shoulders.

This was the Chloe others saw. An attractive woman that elicited feelings of longing, desire, and lust. Emotions that I could only brush with the fingertips of my mind. I wondered if she would be in a better state if I felt those things for her. If I could look at her the way a man in love could. If I could show her love like in the books I read, would that help her love herself?

Her eyes found mine. A smile spread across her face. “You’re staring.”

“I am.”

A faint blush formed on her cheeks. “My ‘noise’ distracting you?”

I shook my head. “Not looking at your Noise. I’m looking at you.”

She seemed flustered. At least, I think that was the reaction she was having. It was hard not looking at her Noise, but I needed to **** myself to do this too. To remind me that this was the way she saw the world.

“And what do you see?” she asked.

“My beautiful girlfriend struggling to complete the back half of her packet.”

She stuck out her tongue. “Cut me some slack. I’ve been playing catch up for over a month now. Besides, I completed the first half on my own.” Her chin lifted, a proud smile on her face.

“Want some help?”

She opened her mouth to answer but hesitated at the last second. “Actually… I want to see if I can solve them myself first.”

“If you have questions—”

“I’ll ask, don’t worry.”

She went back to work. I opened myself back to her Noise. Her determination was there, driving her beyond where she would have given up in the past. This newfound strength was affecting her Noise as well. Her Noise seemed stronger now that I was sitting near her. I figured without the constant negative feelings like shame and guilt weighing her down, her mental health was flourishing. It was all still negligible in the grand scheme of things, but it was enough that I noticed it.

Progress, however small, was still progress. She was changing, and so was I. No longer content to float through life, I had something I wanted. Something I needed to protect and nurture. A little thing, but it made my days all the better.

I reached over and brushed at her hair. She was surprised, blinking as her eyes found mine.

“I don’t want to interrupt your flow, but how about a change of venue?”

Excitement surged. “Oh?”

I nodded. “How about we go to my place?” A lot of… colorful… emotions spawned at the question. I cleared my throat. Needed to clarify. “Not… for that.”

Her smile was perfectly innocent, though her Noise betrayed her. “Not… what?” she asked in a sweet voice.

Chloe was trying to tease me. Flirting was a good way to show love and desire for your partner. Fortunately, I was deep in research on the subject. Perhaps it was time to put it into practice.

I leaned closer, her Noise reacting to my closeness. That was an encouraging start. I lowered my voice, trying to make it a deep, soothing tone. I held her gaze. There was a surge in her Noise, but I wasn’t focused on that. “Sex.”

It did not have the effect I was going for. A snort as she pulled away, hand over her mouth. “God, you sound anti-sexy. I didn’t know that was a thing until now.”

Straightening, I fixed my lips into a frown. She quickly waved her hands in front of her. “No, no! Please continue. This is great.”

My eyes moved to her Noise, taking in what I saw. Amusement. Joy. Playfulness.

“Ah-ah!” she said, snapping her fingers in front of my face. “No cheating.”

“But how will I know—”

“The same way all other guys know: looking at their partner.”

“How inefficient.”

She poked playfully at my chest. “Not every guy has a built in cheat sheet. Now, please continue. I’m dying to hear more anti-sexy Jake talk.”

I leveled her with a dead stare and her Noise swirled as I did my best to ignore it. She was grinning, an eager look in her eye. Fine. Time to try a different approach. Clearing my throat, I scooted closer to her, placing my hand on her waist. Her grin faded as I stared, adjusting my expression slightly.

Leaning my head near her ear, I lowered my voice. I thought back to the characters in the books I read, channeling their attitude and approach. Doing my best impersonation, I whispered, my lips brushing her ear.

“You know what I would love right now? To be alone, just the two of us.”

I pulled back slightly to look into her eyes. Was it working? It was hard to work out the complex emotions from her facial expression.

“Yeah?” she breathed in a husky tone. “And why is that?”

Oh. I hadn’t thought that far ahead. Now that I reflected on the situation, I realized that most flirting was done to either lead to sex, or to build sexual tension. Neither of which were the goal here. It was hard to resist peeking at her Noise, but she did have a point. I needed to learn how to read her better. Right now she looked... sleepy? I am an idiot. Try again. Wait. Was that anticipation? Closer, but it wasn’t the dominant one. Sultry. That was it. That made a lot more sense considering the context.

“Because...”

Damn it. This was harder than it looked.

“Because...?”

“I...”

She was amused. No, entertained. It was a playful enjoyment of me stumbling along.

“... want to...”

“... yes?” Chloe was leaning forward now. Her lips dangerously close to mine, yet far enough that she could still look at me.

“... cuddle.”

She stopped creeping towards me, fixing me with a look I couldn’t grasp in the brief flash it was there. “Cuddle,” she repeated.

Did I do it wrong? She didn’t look upset, but there was something I was missing. “Yes,” I stated, emphasizing it with a nod.

Chloe stared for a few more seconds before bursting into laughter, quickly struggling to lower the volume considering the location. I did take a peek at her Noise, relaxing the tension in my body as I found her in good spirits. “Oh, such a scandalous proposition.” Her smile was beaming. “Will there be... hand holding as well?”

Teasing. This was something I had experience with.

“Most definitely.”

“Snuggling?”

“I insist.”

“Even... tickling?!” she gasped, her Noise a brilliant display as she mocked surprise—no, horror.

“Only if it leads to kissing,” I responded in a matter-of-fact voice.

“Hmm,” she said, tapping her lips with a finger. “I don’t know. I usually charge extra for that sort of thing.”

“I will compensate you accordingly,” I said with a sagely nod.

Chloe reached over to rest her arms against my shoulders. “Promise?”

“Absolutely.”

“Hmm,” she hummed again as her eyes dipped from mine. She was moving closer. “Maybe I can pencil you in...”

“I would like that.”

Our lips met. It was pleasant. I could tell Chloe was expecting something more. but I was content as it was. Our lips lingered together, pressing gently. Pulling back, she fixed me with a warm smile, though her Noise did have tendrils of disappointment.

Was not having sex a mistake? I wasn’t opposed to the idea. Sex had been enjoyable, even with the issues that her Gift brought. I just didn’t want her to think I was inviting her over solely for that reason.

“Let’s go,” she said happily, starting to pack up. “Math can wait.”