The Experiment - Day 4

The pitter-patter of raindrops on the window stirred Julie from her sleep, ushering in a new day. She slowly stretched her body under the smooth sheets, a peaceful smile forming on her face. It had been a long time since she felt so calm and content. The idea of continuing with the smoking experiment didn't bother her anymore.

"Since when am I accepting this so easily?" she wondered, feeling an almost alien sense of anticipation for the day ahead.

Julie rolled out of bed and shuffled her way to the bathroom. With no rush to get ready, she took her time going through her morning routine. It was a luxury not having to constantly check the time. The perks of having so much free time were definitely worth it and she was getting used to it faster than she expected.

All gussied up, she went to the suite's kitchenette. The aroma of freshly brewed coffee filled the air as she prepared herself a steaming cup. As she waited for Mark, she leaned against the desk, taking a tentative sip of her drink.

"Ah, just what I needed," she thought, but there was something off about the experience. It was as if a vital piece of the puzzle was missing, leaving her feeling somewhat unsatisfied. She sweetened her coffee, hoping it would make a difference, but it fell short of filling the void.

"Maybe it's just because I'm used to having my morning coffee with my family," she mused, trying to pinpoint the source of her unease. Yet deep down, she knew it wasn't that simple. It seemed as though the previous day's mix of coffee and cigarettes had left a lasting mark on her senses, subtly changing the way she perceived even the most mundane aspects of her life.

"Could I really be missing... the cigarettes?" she silently questioned, the idea both unsettling and tantalizing. Vivid memories of the streams of smoke leaving her parted lips refused to fade. Despite her better judgment, she couldn't help but feel some sort of excitement at the prospect of smoking again, an emotion she had never expected to associate with such a despicable vice.

"Strange," she whispered to herself, taking another sip of her coffee and trying to shake off the disconcerting feeling.

A gentle knock on the door interrupted Julie's thoughts, and she opened the door to Mark. His dark eyes sparkled with a mischievous glint, and he greeted her warmly, setting down a small tray of pastries.

"Morning, Julie," he said casually, glancing at her coffee cup. "I see you've already started your day. You know, if you want, you can light up right away..."

He gestured to the pack of cigarettes lying on the tray, and Julie looked at them with desire. Without hesitation she reached for a cigarette with a slightly trembling hand.

"I was just about to suggest that, those do pair nicely with coffee," she agreed softly, accepting the lighter Mark offered and igniting the tip of the cigarette. She took a slow, tentative drag, relishing the way the smoke filled her lungs and seemed to complete the missing piece of her morning coffee. She recalled her attempts at perfecting her style, so when she returned the filter to her lips, she took a slightly stronger drag followed by a rapid inhale and a long exhale. Mark smiled approvingly, lighting one for himself before settling into the armchair across from her.

Impressed, he remarked, "You've clearly practiced on your own yesterday. You're a fast learner."

Julie felt good about it, always striving to marvel at anything she was doing. "I'm glad it shows. It's more enjoyable for me when I smoke like this."

As they smoked, their conversation flowed with ease, growing more relaxed and friendly by the minute. Julie found herself opening up to Mark in ways she hadn't done in a while, discussing her passions, dreams, and even her insecurities. Mark shared some of his own life experiences, but focused more on listening to hers.

"So, you've always been interested in fitness?" Mark inquired, genuinely curious.

"Ever since I was a teenager," Julie replied, exhaling a long stream of smoke. "I loved the feeling of pushing myself to the limit, and it became an essential part of my daily life."

"Sounds like quite the commitment," Mark mused, taking a drag of his own cigarette. "It must be hard to balance everything."

"Well...yes," Julie admitted, her gaze drifting to the window as she contemplated the complexities of her life. "But I do my best to maintain a healthy balance. At least I hope I do."

Mark nodded, his eyes reflecting understanding. "You know," he began softly, a subtle shift in the air as he spoke. "It sounds like you're doing an excellent job balancing it all, but life isn't just about keeping up with responsibilities."

Julie looked at him quizzically, taking a moment to consider his words.

"What do you mean?" she asked after a beat, flicking the ashes off her cigarette into the ashtray.

Mark shifted his weight, getting comfortable in the armchair. "In my opinion, life should be more than just work and productivity," he said. "It's important to make time for activities that bring you joy and prioritize your mental well-being. Your workouts may help with productivity and your body's health, but are they truly fulfilling on their own?"

His eyes twinkled with understanding as he looked at the pack of cigarettes resting on the table between them. Julie caught his gaze and a smile of mutual understanding passed between them. It was clear that Mark wasn't just acknowledging her enjoyment of smoking, but also implying that she should let herself indulge in other aspects of her life as well.

Before she could respond, Mark changed the tone and steered the conversation away from Julie's responsibilities and family. Instead, they delved into other topics, such as their favorite books, movies, they even shared funny and interesting memories from their youth.

Julie reveled in the ease of their interaction, the simple pleasure of sharing a smoke and engaging in heartfelt conversations with Mark. This whole experiment was becoming a welcomed escape from the responsibilities that weighed on her so heavily at home. In these moments, she realized she may have been pushing herself too hard indeed and regretted not finding other sources of joy in life beyond her intense workouts.

The two of them enjoyed their breakfast and had another cup of coffee together. Julie lit up another cigarette as they chatted amicably.

"Mark," she finally said, pausing to take the final drag of her second cigarette, "I can't thank you enough for your guidance and kind company in this project. You've really helped me cope with smoking too."

"Of course," he replied with a warm smile, his eyes holding hers for a moment before looking away. "I'm just as glad to be part of this new experience of yours, Julie."

After Mark left, the suite felt suddenly empty and quiet. Julie found herself staring at the door through which he had disappeared, missing the warmth of his presence and their engaging conversation. She took a deep breath and tried to shake off the feeling of loneliness that threatened to envelop her.

Thoughts of her family flooded her mind, and she couldn't help but wonder how they were faring. While she found some solace in the upcoming opportunity to send a message to George in just 3 days, the thought of not hearing Lily and Tim's sweet voices for a whole month weighed heavily on her. She was lucky to have George as her husband, always providing unconditional love even when she was at her most stressed. He took on most of the responsibility for their home without complaint, but he wasn't a pushover - he knew when to set boundaries for Julie's obnoxious perfectionism. And although this sometimes caused arguments between them, she respected him for it.

A wave of guilt washed over her as she lay in the opulent room. While her family struggled without their mother, she lived a life of luxury, with nothing to do except for that hour of daily exercise. Her only responsibility was to smoke cigarettes, which was both ironic and bizarre. None of these things made her feel guilty on their own; she was being paid handsomely, after all. No, her guilt came from actually finding enjoyment in this idle lifestyle. And even the act of smoking had become pleasurable, something she couldn't have imagined just days ago.

Left alone with nothing to occupy her mind, she let her thoughts wander to her next cigarette and how she could improve her smoking style. She pictured herself mimicking the woman she saw snap inhaling outside. But the more she thought about it, the stronger the strange craving grew in her - as if something was missing. She recognized that familiar yearning from the morning, for nicotine and the comforting sensations it provided.

"What the hell is this now? No way I'm actually wanting to smoke? Julie, get a grip, it's time to go to the gym," she chided herself, hoping that her usual workout routine would help distract her from these strange cravings. As she changed into her gym clothes, she couldn't help but wonder if this experiment was changing her in ways she hadn't anticipated.

The gym felt familiar and comforting, with the hum of treadmills and clanking of weights providing a soundtrack to her efforts. Julie started her workout as she always did, warming up on the elliptical before moving on to her strength training exercises. Yet, something felt different today. Her body went through the motions, but her mind seemed disconnected from the activity, unable to find the satisfaction it usually did.

"Okay, that's enough for today," she told herself after completing her workout, even though she knew she hadn't reached her usual level of exhaustion.

Julie unlocked her suite door, the dim light inside casting a golden glow on the package that lay on the table. Her heart skipped a beat as she recognized the familiar shape of a 120's cigarette pack. A note from Mark accompanied it: "I hope you enjoyed your workout. Feel free to enjoy these on your own this evening."

A shiver of anticipation ran through her as she took off her jacket and sat down in front of the mirror. The package felt surprisingly alluring in her hands, its weight promising relief from the boredom she had been feeling. Eagerly, she opened the pack and retrieved a cigarette, all white and longer then those before, holding it between her plump lips.

After taking the first drag, she instantly coughed and said, "Damn...these are stronger than I thought. Funny, they look so harmless." She figured she would just take smaller puffs to compensate for the strength. However, after a few gentle drags, she grew accustomed to the intense taste and sensation they provided, allowing her to smoke them with the same intensity as before.

She enjoyed the added length, as it gave her more time to play with the smoke. She noticed her exhales becoming denser and thicker. The stronger taste no longer bothered her either; in fact, she had grown accustomed to it and even found pleasure in the burning sensation that spread down her throat with each inhale.

Julie remembered the girl she saw outside the lobby, who effortlessly performed snap inhales while smoking. Determined to improve her own technique, Julie looked at her reflection and began practicing. She placed the cigarette between her lips, then pulled it away and held her mouth open for a moment, watching as the smoke disappeared back in her mouth as she inhaled and filled her lungs. With a feeling of satisfaction, she exhaled a long, thick stream of smoke.

She gazed at her reflection in the mirror, trying to repeat the snap inhale she had just performed. "That wasn't bad at all," she thought to herself, attempting a few more times.

As the evening progressed, Julie had already smoked her remaining two cigarettes for the day hours ago and was now again longing for another one. It seemed crazy to want more than she was required to, but smoking was the only thing that brought any excitement in this dull room. She had enough of TV and books, and Mark's words about finding other joys in life echoed in her mind. Her gaze kept drifting towards the elegant, feminine package resting on the table, and eventually she gave in to her craving and pulled out a long, white stick. She walked back to the mirror and observed herself holding the unlit cigarette.

"Should I really be enjoying this?" she pondered, conflicted by her own eagerness as she observed her reflection.

With a racing heart and trembling hands, she debated whether to give in to this twisted new desire. Her old self screamed for her to resist, but the intoxicating thrill of rebellion was too strong. In a quick decision, she brought the flame to the tip of the cigarette and took a long drag, feeling the rush of adrenaline surge through her veins. It was exciting; a taste of freedom she had never experienced before. The smoke that entered her lungs felt like a rebellious victory, a defiance against her former self and all the bullshit she pushed herself to achieve. This was her actual first true cigarette; one that she craved and wasn't **** to have, and it ignited something new within her.

Each drag was becoming increasingly pleasurable. The taste of the smoke, which was initially disguting, now seemed to be more than just tolerable. With every inhale, she felt a growing desire to keep indulging in this vice. And each soothing exhale sparked the need for yet another drag, forming an endless cycle of interchanging need and satisfaction.

In the mirror, the exhaled smoky haze obscured her beautiful face, adding an air of mystery and seduction to her elegant features. Julie couldn't deny the magnetic attraction of her own image, the sight of herself smoking sending a thrilling shiver down her spine. She felt like a different person and she liked who she was seeing in the mirror. It was no longer just about the effects of nicotine; it was about the allure, the excitement, and giving in to temptation.

As Julie extinguished the "extra" cigarette, she couldn't shake the feeling that she had reached a dangerous precipice. The pleasure and excitement of smoking held a powerful sway over her, but would she be able to resist its pull and maintain control?

"Is it worth giving into this temptation?" she asked herself, staring into her own blue eyes in the mirror, searching for an answer that remained elusive.

She lay in bed and stretched her slender limbs across the soft sheets, reveling in the sensation of weightlessness that enveloped her. She let out an involuntary sigh of contentment as the lingering effects of nicotine coursed through her body.

"Mmm, this feels amazing," she murmured to herself, relishing the calmness and relaxation that had settled over her like a warm embrace. It was something she had been searching for her entire life – a reprieve from the constant cycle of stress and responsibility that defined her existence.

Julie's resolve wavered. She hesitated, torn between the unfamiliar pleasure of smoking and the reality of her life back home. "What if I just... indulge myself for the remainder of this experiment?" she thought, rationalizing her actions. "I deserve some peace, don't I? I've been working hard for the last ten years, so why shouldn't I just fully enjoy this experience?"

"Julie, you've got to be kidding yourself," she whispered, rolling her eyes at her own **** justification. "You're playing with fire here." Thoughts of her husband and children flashed before her, reminding her of what was truly important. She knew she couldn't allow herself to be consumed by this newfound vice, no matter how alluring it might be.

"You'll get addicted," her old self reminded her from deep below. "You should quit this tomorrow, regardless of the money. You'll go find yourself some job for the next six months in no time, you're the best out there. Your health is at risk here, dammit. Plus, your family needs you. You've had your little fun here, but it's time to put an end to it before it's too late." She clenched her fists, trying to will away the temptation that gnawed at her resolve. Yes, she had to end this.

But even as she made her decision, a part of her couldn't help but mourn the impending loss of this unique mix of calm and excitement she just discovered. And as she drifted off to sleep, Julie found herself plagued by a gnawing sense of uncertainty.

There wasn't a definite answer, it remained elusive, hidden behind a veil of smoke that threatened to consume her completely. As sleep finally claimed her, Julie hoped that tomorrow would bring clarity, but deep down, she knew that her struggle was far from over.