Iona

When Rowena disappears into the forest, Dunla and I are the only two who remain. Oh wow. All of tonight has really been quite a thing. I mean, being nude in front of so many other girls made me quite nervous. It took some time getting used to. I just kept reminding myself that 20 years ago, my mom did all of this too. Probably together with all of these girls’ moms. And she was able to get through it. If she can, so can I.

“You’re the last one, Iona. Are you nervous?” Dunla asks.

I take a deep breath and say, “I am. I had a boyfriend before, but we never went very far. And tonight, I may end up going all the way.”

“You don’t have to if you’re not ready for it.” Dunla tells me. “If it’s too much, then you can simply stay on the path and the men won’t touch you.”

“I know, but I’m a Samhain child.” I answer. “My mom once went through this forest and got captured. And then she had me. I was conceived in this forest. I just feel it would be incredibly poetic for me to return here and do it all over again, you know. I’m just worried about the guy that catches me. Like, what if he’s not a nice person.”

“I know a lot of the guys who are participating tonight. I am not going to say all of them are friendly, but a lot of them certainly are.” Dunla reassures me. “And if you still feel nervous about it, you can always stray close to the path. That way, if a guy you don’t like tries to catch you, you can use the path as a safe point and quickly run back to it.”

Dunla makes a good point there. I can always stray safely. So, I stare at the lights that show where the path begins, I take a deep breath, and with my courage collected I say, “I’m ready.”

That is when Dunla rings the bell for me and I start walking.

When I exit the glade and get on the path, I hear Dunla’s bell behind me. This time, she doesn’t ring it once, but three times. Same as when she did at the beginning, when she started sending us back. I guess this is her signaling to the remaining guys that the last girl is leaving. I pull my attention away from Dunla and keep moving forward. I am more interested in the forest itself. Or rather, the spirits floating around me between the trees.

When my clan was in this village, 5 years ago, the elders told me that I was one of these spirits. Visiting this village after my previous life had ended, floating around these trees just like they are now. Then one day, my mother ran through this forest all naked, like I am now, and she got caught by a guy. She got pregnant as a result of it, and my soul was close enough to notice it. So, then my soul went into her womb to be born again and live a second life. That was 20 years ago and I am following in her footsteps. In a way, it is almost like me returning home. I know I can’t see my fellow ancestors, but I feel like I can sense their presence. Like they are welcoming me after having been away for so long.

I almost feel a little guilty for being here too. The ancestors around me are all spirits who want to live again, just like I am right now. I almost feel like I am obligated to stray for them. Like I have a duty to help them be reborn like I have. I don’t know, I am still so nervous. To go from virgin straight to being a mother and without planning ahead who the father is going to be. What should I do?