You will ask me out

While your messages in particular have been respectful, the other messages from other people are varied. Some are turning out to be good conversations, while others become more demanding. Regardless, I make the conscious choice to match the tone of those conversations.

I am more comfortable sending risque pictures now, without showing my face. Each picture shows me in fewer and fewer clothing. Though I continue to resist in sending nudes, I suspect that it will only be a matter of time before that happens, given the fact that the demands for them are growing.

You, as well, as the others, are asking me questions about meeting me, all of which I am tempted to agree on; however, I am hesitant for several reasons. For starters, I feel the guilt. Additionally, I don't want to give the impression that I am some kind of slut, even if I am openly flirting. At the same time, I am secretly fantasizing the scenarios of me doing some slutty things, but not because I am actually planning to do them; I am simply fulfilling some urges right now, without any worry about the consequences.

One of those scenarios include me meeting you for a drink and then going to your place for more. I imagine sitting down on your couch and having you offer me a glass of your wine. As you sit down next to me, we sip a little bit of our glasses and begin our evening. All the buildup within this moment would have me savouring your touch. I know for a fact that my body has been longing for some attention, even though I have been suppressing it for so long. From that point on, you would take your time to warm me up by kissing me or caressing parts of my body. Maybe I'd take off everything later for you to see!

Other scenarios include me joining you and your friend, or with another stranger! It is a scary thought for me in reality though. I picture myself being talked into doing stuff, but I didn't dare to think about it further...

Despite my previous reservations, I agree to meet with you, as well as with a couple of other people. Even though I am lonely, I am not thinking about having sex. I just want to see people in person. I am going to keep my lust hidden...