Especially for the ' girl '

I parked well away from the pavilion and entered the gate . John appeared and walked over . I voiced my rehearsed line - " Is there somewhere here I could change into these " - at the same time opening my palm to reveal the panties. Prior to taking them out and to make doubly evident what it was that I was holding I had gripped them to make lace visible .

His reaction could'nt have been more encouraging . He looked at the panties long enough to show he recognized them . He said nothing but gestured with his head and strode at an enthusiastic pace to the building. I was in !

At this point , to minimize disappointment I want you the reader to know that this narrative has all along been autobiographical . And because it all really happened as written these words will ring true to you . My hope is that truth will prove more erotic than fantasy ( which , where included is plainly stated to be my fantasy ) and may draw out some empathy as some among you have surely known similar emotions and experiences ( any comments from you will be treasured ) . So if the present chapter fails to make your cock hard I promise later accounts of my sissieship will compensate .

I followed John ( one backward glance from him to confirm - exciting - he wants me ! ) then upstairs to a combined changing and pitch viewing room , the rear wall of which was lined with a bench . I was about to place my coat on the bench when footsteps were heard from the stairway .

It was a cleaning woman . When she saw us she turned around and went downstairs . It is probable she knew John's predilections and guessed what we were about . While this interruption spooked me only a little , funk followed the pause . Perhaps not completely cowardice - I gave myself this rationale - ' if I get fucked I don't want to get shit on him so I should go the lavatory first ' ; also , for some reason I felt I should put the slip on in the lavatory and then encounter him rather than put it on with him watching ( as I had long fantasized about doing with just the panties ) , As the slip and panties were in my coat pockets I picked up the coat and went to the nearby roomful of toilets .

Shitting and changing were short minutes , but ....... when I got back John had left . If only I had had the guts to seek him out - there was no reason I couldn't do so - I could have taken off the slip or worn my civvies over it re-located him and my need for him would have been clear and maybe have doubled his enthusiasm for this ' girl ' .

But I chickened out . All I got from this was some additional footage for masturbation . With my nice smooth legs and in my messaging lace-hemmed panties I could re-enact showing John my signal , and when we got upstairs I could have ( should have ! ) confirmed I was offering up myself by saying things I lacked for courage to say when it mattered . Such as ( holding them up ) " These are so pretty , I was hoping you could check if they fit me " , or " I hope these look nice on me " . Variations of what I could have said are many orgasms behind me ( and not exhausted ) . At the very least what I should gave done was to spread the panties on the bench and leave them as a calling card when I went to the toilet . He would have known , and I might have been deflowered .

As it was it took some years and a change of continents for that to happen .